Whining Thread #2

Discussion in 'Dancers Anonymous' started by cornutt, Jan 23, 2008.

  1. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    Sometimes, it doesn't matter how hard you work, how many things you give up, how much money you pay, how much time you spend, how many enemies you make- the person you do it all for still might not give a sh!t, and still might run right over you to the opportunistic, lying, manipulative mooch who looks better in a dress and can lie better.
     
  2. nikkitta

    nikkitta Well-Known Member

    hmmm, studio drama?
     
  3. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    Not so much, but part of it. It's out of my hands, so I had myself a good quick gripe about it, got ran over by the food wagon again, and this, too, shall pass. It's difficult for me to keep my mouth shut on the best of days, but sometimes... well.
     
  4. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    my sincere empathy...it happens....to some of us more than others....gets old....really old
     
  5. stash

    stash Well-Known Member

    2 drops of rain and people become idiots on the road.... Glad the sun is out now, but earlier today, I wanted to punch someone.
     
  6. Aura

    Aura Active Member

    To my current pro (who is not the one in the picture, that's one of my old pros):

    First, I know you mean well. I truly do, and I really appreciate it. I know you want me to excel, and I know that coaching lessons are a part of more serious dancing. I know they can be very important. I know I haven't had one yet, and I'm, as you say, "overdue". But, (metaphorically) hear me out: Dare I say, I may even want myself to excel in my dancing even more than you do. After all, choosing to dance was my decision. If I really didn't love it, I would have quit a long time ago.

    But, you aren't getting it. Coaching can be expensive, and my parents have put their foot down on the matter: no coaching, showcases, etc. until I get a job. And, they're right. I'm very grateful to my parents for allowing me to dance. They're paying for my weekly private lesson, group classes, socials, the occasional local competition, and the gas for the commute from school to dance. That's a lot, and they don't have to do any of it. When my school load was lighter, I made multiple efforts to find my first job. All of them turned me down. Eventually, getting rejected so many times took its toll on my nerves and emotions, so I decided to focus on school. Now, college is so busy that I don't have time to look for a job. My main focus is to get a degree, so I can a job later. Maybe from your perspective, it stinks when I can't do all the super fun and cool things in dance. Well, imagine how I feel. It really hurts sometimes when I see my fellow students participating in all these things. But, most of them went to school and eventually got a job and worked their way up. I know I'll do the same. If I can be patient in such matters, so can you.

    To sum up, no, I'm not going to check with my parents again for the umpteenth time to see in they'll let me have a coaching session with Coach So-and-So. They've made themselves clear. Now, it's my turn. Please, please, please stop bothering me about it. When I get a job, you'll know it because I'll be so happy, I might explode.

    (Wow, that was long. I don't like the fact that my first post in a while is on the whining thread, but it had to come out. It's just really frustrating. And knowing the full situation, I don't think he's trying to pull anything funny business-wise. I just think he's being stubborn and clueless about the whole thing.)
     
    JudeMorrigan and FancyFeet like this.
  7. tangotime

    tangotime Well-Known Member

    About time I had a say, about couple of things that REALLY stoke me up !

    " Brilliant ".. is this the ONLY word that the "english " EVER use ,to describe anything, and everything that, is more often than not, good fortune . Its even used by some more learned types, which only perpetuates the masses to follow suit. e.g. If someone asks if they have a product in stock, and the answer is " yes " the response, guaranteed, will be " Brilliant " .

    It is neither " clever/smart ", nor " bright/ shiny ".. its fortunate, or lucky , if you will.

    And the 2nd one.. WHY do people in the UK say ,they are " afraid " in the wrong context. Like " Im afraid we are out of stock ".. what kind of fear does that instil in someone ?... just askin.



    3rd... Proper and Place names.. WHY do newscasters , among others in the public arena , so often mis-pronounce, names of cities, towns and people, incorrectly ? ( all, rhetorical questions ) .
     
  8. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    The third one- I have an answer. I think it's so that they can take credit for starting a new trend, or make their own signature way of butchering the English language.

    Aura: I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. I know it ruffles a few feathers, but I'm not trying to be a malicious jerkess when I say that what you're experiencing is something that I've found to be so typical of teachers/coaches/instructors within the ballroom "business". Being exposed to this and then people who turn around and say "You're not a high enough caliber if you don't act this way, and I therefore won't take lessons from you" makes me upset with teachers who try to act foremostly like hucksters, but moreso the enablers who let themselves be milked for all they're worth, because of the label they get to wear. No, they're not ALL that way- but the ones who leave a bad taste in your mouth do tend to be more memorable:-(
     
  9. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    So many things are running over me lately in my dance-bubble. It's the kind of stuff that makes me feel like I'm approaching that "Why, again, am I bothering to do this, if this is what happens?" point of Time to Take a Break. The partner thinks that if I take a break, that I'm being some kind of pansy. Maybe I am- I'm not going to disagree- but I know that if I don't, I hate him, I hate dancing, and I hate everything around it, and each time, it's a lot more difficult to put my shoes on, smile, and encourage other people to leave themselves vulnerable to the same situation if they take it beyond their group classes and private lessons. I was doing well for a little while. Things were looking up, I felt that rare sense of confidence and even control of my own dance-life. Hate this feeling. It passes- usually- but I'm impatient, and I want it gone now.
     
  10. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    I wonder...you and your partner are very different people...so why would he feel entitled to label you a pansy (um...which really doesn't seem to jive with your personality anyhow)....I am wondering here, why you won't trust your own judgement on this...
     
  11. Aura

    Aura Active Member


    Yeah, I hear what you're saying. I know a crucial part of business in general is selling your product, but please understand that when I say "no", I didn't stutter. It's like if a telemarketer kept calling me after I hung up the first five times. And just to give more insight into the situation, my pro is not like one of those "You're not good enough if you don't do X", or "I won't take lessons with you if you don't do Y." Arrogant people are everywhere, and they're pretty easy to spot, not that you don't already know that. I think he's just relentlessly stubborn and rather impatient, much like me. Well, I'll out-muscle you on this one. And, I never told him I didn't want to take coaching lessons. Rather, it's "not yet".
     
    Hedwaite likes this.
  12. mindputtee

    mindputtee Well-Known Member

    That might be your trouble... has it been clearly expressed that "I will tell you WHEN I want to take coaching lessons, but not now, so leave it be."?
     
  13. stash

    stash Well-Known Member

    Considering the most current "whines" this may seem really trival, but here it goes. Why does every shoe that matches the criteria that my cousin has laid out for us bridesmades AND happen to be a design that I actually like not come in my size. Grumble grumble grumbe. Why are only the ugly shoes left is size 6? Good thing I have until June to find said perfect pair of shoes.
     
  14. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    Pansy in that whole "don't let it overload you" sense, I think. He can somehow internalize and deal with stuff much more easily than I can. I have to go She-Hulk for a minute until I run out of steam.

    Once in awhile, I just need a small step-back so I can feel like I'm actually looking forward to starting again. He can keep on plowing through. That, to me, would be exhausting, and feel like it's just rolling me over flat.
     
    stash likes this.
  15. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    some people compartmentalize better than others...that being said...you aren't him so it isn't fair to hold yourself to the standard of handling things as well as he does in the same way in which he handles them...I am confident that there are things you do splendidly, for which he has no aptitude
     
  16. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    Okay. LAST time for awhile, I promise:

    Maybe I'm not a paying client or other person who has priority, but I am a person within someone's life to whom they made an obligation for which they're late. It's no more difficult to pick up the phone and tell me an ETA than it is to tell someone who cuts your checks, or with whom you regularly deal with in other ways otherwise. When you tell somebody you'll do something, actually do it, or stop wasting time. Also, the "If you need me, just call" implies that if I need you for something, on the occasion that I actually do call, you'll actually be there. If you're incapable of this, then please don't be surprised when I fail to respect you in other ways. If you can't make a simple commitment to something and hold up your end, then don't bother making it to start with. And do NOT have the stones to try to suggest that I take more initiative when helping you with YOUR projects that YOU can't do by yourself.

    I might be obtuse, abrasive and ignorant, but I AM reliable and punctual, and if I know what needs to be done, I will do it without excuses or problems, if it is at all possible.

    It's a nice day to dance, and I will go do that. I have nice things planned for the evening, and I will not let current crap bother me.
     
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  17. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    doesn't need to be last one...and I think you are sounding pretty sensible...FWIW... and not abrasive
     
  18. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    didn't have a moment to practice all week
     
  19. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    using shock treatment for those who don't move as instructed? ;)
     
    Joe and cornutt like this.
  20. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    procrastinating :(
     

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