Whining Thread #2

Discussion in 'Dancers Anonymous' started by cornutt, Jan 23, 2008.

  1. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    Whine:

    If you've been dancing for more than three weeks years, you shouldn't still be 'counting' american tango as "T-A-NG-O!"

    You also probably shouldn't argue with the teacher in the middle of group class about your Sesame Street BS "tango is five steps, watch, I'll prove it", unless you want a proper horse's knat made out of you.
  2. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    as someone who counsels engaged couples, I couldn't agree more....

    I see far too many people who think of it as more of a production than as a sacred thing, and an opportunity to convey those values through the choices surrounding it....starting with who you ask to stand up for you and going through use of money, etc...

    we never had a limo or a videographer.... our reception was in the church gym because that is what my parents could afford...my dress was a whopping $400 bucks....

    I am very proud that my daughter prefers to walk down the aisle with her favorite book and, instead of flowers, people will be asked to bring donations of books, canned goods and yarn for various charities....

    that being said....lol....it has always been a dream to have the reception at the Field Museum as we have been donors there for years, and the fee goes back to the endeavors there...so, for me, that is upwards of 20k that is well spent....

    it's funny how we all decide to spend money...I wouldn't spend more than 20 bucks on a purse or more than about 80 on a pair of shoes, but I'd spend many K on gowns and comps and lessons....

    same with a wedding: I think a bunch of it is needless crap...EXCEPT that we are doing it at the Field....seriously though, if we threw down picnic tables and KFC there, I'd be fine....we aren't...b/c dtr is a vegetarian, but I'd be fine
  3. Zhena

    Zhena Well-Known Member

    Consider widening your search for venues. A couple of years ago DH and I held an anniversary party at the same location as our wedding/reception 35 years previously. It is a historic building in a regional park (that just happens to have a gorgeous wood floor suitable for dancing). If I recall correctly, the price in 1977 was less than $100 (!!!), which went up to about $2500 in the intervening years ... still steep but not $20k. Check parks, municipal recreation centers, church halls, etc. and you may find something even nicer than the currently popular "wedding venues".
  4. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    I know of a local nice restuarant that rents a room which would hold 200, that charges 20 bucks for their very good high end buffet and 200 bucks for the room....alcohol is extra... it is a fairly high end place...I am seriously considering it for my daughter's shower but it could easily accomodate a wedding as long as a huge dance floor wasn'ta priority...it is definitely possible to find more sensible venues,if you have enough advanced notice
  5. stash

    stash Well-Known Member

    Thank you all for all the tips. We are definitely looking around, and some of the qoutes coming in now seem a bit more reasonable. We are working looking to make this a celebration for us and our family w/in the sacrament, and not a production... Which is why I had the sticker shock of some venues and some of the catering costs.

    I have looked into some parks, and I may have to look again, but it seem like they catered to more outdoors-y type of venues which won't work as my mom has super bad pollen allergies. Also a decent dance floor is a priority... *dancerproblems*

    We also are looking into all the personal contacts (and skills) we have to, in any way, help us save money.
  6. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    not sure how you feel about this, but, some dance studios have a capacity/seating to hold a reception as well...if there are two rooms you can put a buffet in the smaller room...and almost everyone will cater now...it's pretty amazing...hopefully you have enough time to find something that is ideal...a nummber of colleges also have rental space and catering which can be quite lovely...when I worked for Notre Dame food service, we rented the gorgeous dining halls out all of the time, and we catered some exceptionally fine meals...my future son-in-law is part of the same service at Purdue
  7. cornutt

    cornutt Well-Known Member

    Well, now on top of being furloughed, I've got a cold. First time in years. (The cold, that is... the furloughs are starting to happen distressingly often.)
  8. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    sucks...hug
    cornutt likes this.
  9. Lioness

    Lioness Well-Known Member

    This just happened at work. Drinks everywhere. Broken glass. Gonna stab whoever stacked it with a broken bottle :-/

    image.jpg
  10. llamasarefuzzy

    llamasarefuzzy Well-Known Member

    My mom has always warned me that the wedding is for the family and the honeymoon is for the couple
  11. Lioness

    Lioness Well-Known Member

    Nonsense, in my (entirely unmarried) opinion. If they're paying, maybe they get a say in it, but it's your day. The wedding and the honeymoon are both for you.
  12. Lioness

    Lioness Well-Known Member

    Need the strength not to just up and walk out of this job. Over dealing with drunk assholes at 4am, cleaning up huge spills because our car wash kid can't stack a pile of drinks, and being scheduled for so many shifts my entire body starts to ache.

    I need to find an alternative ASAP. Everything hurts. My hands are all cut up in glass. Today has not been a good day.
  13. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    the wedding is to celebrate and uphold the couple...the reception is to celebrate the couple and thank the guests....the honeymoon is to recover from the wedding :)....as to decisions; taste is dictated by the couple, budget by whomever is paying
  14. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    If you accept ONE rescue animal, people then automatically think that they can just pile other rescues onto you, or that you'll jump at the chance for another, and another, and another...

    Ideally, I'd be happy to, but I can't. Not financially, and not timewise. If I did, the extra creature wouldn't get the attention and care it deserved, because I'm gone all the time, and the particular rescue I just had to turn down needs A LOT of emotional rehabbing. I have two of his close relatives, and one had enough of another bloodline to make him mellow and friendly, but my one boy is REALLY ADHD and has some issues that I have to handle carefully. Taking on another wouldn't be fair to them or new guy.

    Still, though, it didn't keep me from checking up on where he finally made it to. Sure, he'll get some good care, but they don't know his mind like I think I could, so I feel bad that this part of him will be neglected. Should I have taken him in and just cut back on dancing? Am I terrible that I didn't? I thought I was much better about detaching myself from this type of situation than I was.
  15. dancelvr

    dancelvr Well-Known Member

    First off, kudos to you for taking in rescues!! You are a woman after my own heart. :D

    As you know where this troubled baby ended up, can you reach out, and perhaps gently offer some assistance to the new family?

    I know all about being the go-to person for rescues, and how folks think you are just a bottomless pit of time, space, and resources. I'm at saturation point in my house right now, and have had to turn away a few needy animals over the last couple of years. Luckily, I've cultivated relationships with several no-kill rescue organizations, so the sweet babies were all eventually adopted. It's always going to be difficult to make the right decisions, though.
    Sania and Hedwaite like this.
  16. Lioness

    Lioness Well-Known Member

    This has been a challenging relationship weekend.

    Long story short, BF has made absolutely clear that our difference in our libidos is not because I'm huge and unattractive (thank goodness, because I was starting to feel that way...), he's just wired differently and probably wont ever change. So the decision for me is whether I'll be happy with getting some 1, maybe 2 times a week for the rest of my life, or whether that's going to cause long-term issues for me. Not sure. Because I'm sitting up around the 3-5 mark right now. But he just doesn't think in that way all the time or every day...sleep, gaming time, etc. are all more important priorities for him.
    And then communication problem this morning where a friend posted something incredibly racist on FB...he commented on it and I went to comment too and he was all "No, I've got it handled, I don't want him to feel attacked, because we're in a relationship", which in my mind came down to "No I said it well enough I don't want you ruining anything by saying the wrong thing because naturally anything I say goes for you too"
    He apologised, and we got around it, and I didn't back off of telling him how much it hurt that it sounded like he was trying to imply I couldn't handle arguments in public because I'm so young and inexperienced...but oh boy.
    And then he was all, in relation to something else entirely, "Why would you want to get married. I'm just gonna elope". Bro I'm pretty sure I have a bit of a say here. I just want a pretty dress and a fun party. Buuuut I don't want to bring it up in a non-natural context because we're not really at that point in the relationship just yet.

    Difficult weekend. I think it'll all be ok, but it's been challenging.
  17. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    You can have both of those and still elope.
    Lioness likes this.
  18. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    sorry to hear all this Lio...while rough, I have seen people navigate similar things if both are inclined...
    Lioness likes this.
  19. Lioness

    Lioness Well-Known Member

    The whole idea of eloping just seems so out there for me...neither of our families are controlling, overly involved...all the nightmare in-law stuff that I can see wanting to escape. It just seems that celebrating with both families is the thing to do, y'know?

    But oh well. It's not anywhere near a deal breaker for me. I'm pretty confident this has just been a rough weekend, not the start of a big relationship issue. We have some great communication going on most of the time, and I'm pretty confident we'll work it all out (once I can mention marriage without freaking him out)
  20. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    Just stay on the pill.

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