Why don't guys dance?

Discussion in 'Ballroom Dance' started by dancin_feet, Mar 10, 2004.

  1. mjnemeth

    mjnemeth Member

    Yes agree with your two market aspects, but the third aspect of marketing IS to make your product attractive and/or show why its better than other products.

    Yes maybe this thread should be split to discuss this as hinted at earlier.

    This maybe have been mention early, but when did this change, that is "guy don't dance'
    I don't believe this was true sixty year ago and more important what are the root cause of the chance.
  2. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    OK, we should be clear on this. It's not that "guys don't dance". Rather it's "guys don't dance 'old fashioned' dances that require you to dress in unfamiliar attire". There's no lack for boys at raves and such. And while you may not call it dancing, they do. By the same token, I've never seen a shortage of men at Salsa venues.
  3. Wolfgang

    Wolfgang Member

    I've never seen a shortage of men at any public and 'uncontrolled' dance venue, meaning bars, night clubs, open-air concerts and events, raves, parties, etc.
    5 guys for every girl, 15 guys for every cute girl is about normal, just about everywhere I've ever been, on 3 different continents.
    Even dance lessons (and sometimes even studios) abound with men (except Country Line Dancing...).
    Because they have been told the old (how old, I wonder - as old as dance studios, perhaps....?) BS about 'The Guy Who Can Dance Gets The Girl'.
    They believe it, because it sounds right and should be true.
    But it's not.
  4. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    I think there may be some truth to that as along as (and this is big) there aren't significant aggravating factors...there usually are
  5. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    :uplaugh:
    This.

    I'm a fat, old, bald guy with crooked teeth.

    Yes, there were cute, young girls that wouldn't give me the time of day. But that's their prerogative, and for every one of those, there was another attractive young lady that was happy for the dances, and definitely no lack of attractive ladies that were interested in more than just dancing.

    My point here being, if a man is looking for love at the ballroom, and is striking out, it is really time for a bit of brutally honest self-examination. The odds are not as good at a Salsa club, or a rave, but the same principles apply.
  6. juwest333

    juwest333 Active Member

    You really should come visit my area sometime. This past Sunday, at a local bar where we always have a Swing event, we had about 16 ladies and only 5 guys (including myself). While this may seem heavenly to some, believe me, it's not. We (the guys) never even had a chance to sit down or take a break (because I just can't turn a lady down when she asks me to dance :) ). My body is still sore....

    When the event was over, we were asked to please bring more men next time!
  7. debmc

    debmc Well-Known Member

    As pointed out above, guys do dance... they just don't necessarily place "ballroom" dancing high on the priority list. I think there is a strong association between current popular music and dancing... so when a guy is listening to whomever is the current musical phenom.. he is going to want to dance to those songs. If you can show that ballroom/latin will allow them to do that, I think that might help. So my suggestion... make an association with current music and ballroom and maybe that will get more young male students interested.
  8. asdepique

    asdepique Member

    I disagree with you on that point. In my 15 years of social dancing, I saw many average looking dancers with beautiful women. I'm single, by choice, but at anytime, I know at least 5 women that I can call for a date. However, I'm not looking for that.
    15 years ago, I was in my mid-thirty and I was very shy with women. Now, I feel much more in ease with women.
  9. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    if a guy can dance and is also a really decent guy...his appearance is irrelevant...any guy who doesn't think this is true...probably has work to do...take it for what you will
  10. dgarstang

    dgarstang Member

    Gee, not sure if I agree with that. I've just turned 40, single, and I've been dancing several times a week for about a year and a half. While I didn't start dancing to pick up women, I wouldn't mind if I met someone 'special' while dancing. The opportunity hasn't even come close though.
  11. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    Dancing can't fix other challenges one might have with socializing. It provides enhanced opportunity, much the same as a residential college would.
  12. Gorme

    Gorme Active Member

    Alot of it has to do with their peers. If you can get several boys into the activity, it can slowly pull in more of their friends as it's not so bad if a whole group of boys are doing the same activity. Guys love competition and one-upping each other. They would really get into the dancesport side of dancing.
  13. dgarstang

    dgarstang Member

    toothlesstiger, who said anything about other challenges?
  14. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    um...I did....several posts back...always good to read a bit of the thread prior to posting
  15. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

    Think there are two separate effects. One that attracts guys, and a second that keeps them at it. So, girls may be responsible for the first effect, but surely won´t for the latter, because it soon will turn out that dancing is a hard job. So there actually must be something more powerful! And I think, guys will keep guys at it. that might sound odd, but we still underrate the function of role models.

    What do you think may serve as a role model?

    (a) the flamboyant international latin dancer with well oiled chest....
    (b) the decidedly looking dressed in black tango dancer ...
    (c) the playful double-jointed street dancer who always is loosing himself when...
    (d) the tailcoated lounge lizard who is caught in etiquette ....
    (e) the perky swing dancer with flat cap who lives at ease....

    Concerning me. I started dancing at the age of 44. Never danced before in my life because (a) was synonymous for me with dancing, and of course absolutely out of discussion and really disgusting. By chance I watched the movie The Tango Lesson (1996) and I had found my role model and an access to dancing in addition.
  16. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    (f) the imperfectly looking guy who can confidently take any woman onto the dance floor and smoothly, graciously, give her a good time and put a smile on her face, no matter her level or style of dancing...

    now, that's a handy man worthy of emulation.
  17. Wolfgang

    Wolfgang Member

    I totally have work to do.
    About a year ago or so, I saw my original dance teacher (and her latest boy toy) at a local club and told her that there were a few VERY important things she forgot to teach me.
    How to be a 22-year old 6'5 Brad Pitt look-alike with Don Trump's bank roll.
    THAT's the guy who gets the girl!
  18. JudeMorrigan

    JudeMorrigan Well-Known Member

    I expect that depends on whether you mean the girl or The Girl, where The Girl might be a very specific someone. Certainly there are plenty of short, schlubby, older, not-especially-wealthy guys out there who are in very happy relationships.
  19. freeageless

    freeageless Active Member

    Wolfgang, if that is the case, how do you explain the guy in the below video. All his partners are absolutely beautiful. I should also give credit to the person in another thread titled "heavy" who first mentioned this video. However, I don't remember their name. As a matter of fact, the guy in this video is my role model.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLJui1n6Bpw&feature=player_embedded
  20. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    We seem to be drifting into the minefield of "why can't I get 'the girl I want'/'a hot girl'/'any girl'". I plead guilty to contributing. This is a topic that has been beaten to death elsewhere on DF. A word to the wise should be sufficient...

    To opendoor's point, visible role models are indeed a big factor. In cultures that dance, the boys have plenty of "normal" looking role models. American boys who see swing and salsa dancers also see plenty of relatively normal looking role models. DWTS, even when the men are football players, do not present "normal" looking role models for boys.

    As I try to imagine ballroom being depicted in movies as a normal activity in which men participate, I actually have trouble picturing it. No problem with salsa, swing, or tango. That's how far we have to go with the depiction of ballroom, to make the average boy consider it.
    opendoor likes this.

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