Ballroom Dance > Why don't guys dance?

Discussion in 'Ballroom Dance' started by dancin_feet, Mar 10, 2004.

  1. frotes

    frotes Member

    Definitely agree with the music. As a guy, one of the big factors for me on deciding how much I liked/wanted to learn a dance was finding music for that dance that I really enjoyed listening to, even outside of dancing.

    When you start to really connect with a song, the natural next step is just going.. "How can I dance to this!". It is just so much better to be able to dance to songs that you can really get into.
  2. freeageless

    freeageless Active Member

    I agree. However, I think that problem is that different people like and are able to get into different types of music. For example, I have never taken an Argentine tango class. I plan to take a group class on it next session, only because I like the Argentine tango music. I am currently taking mid-level bronze cha cha and samba classes-not because I particularly like the music-but mostly for the challenge of learning the steps and as a hobby.
  3. frotes

    frotes Member

    I don't think it is a "problem" per say. Music is just ONE of many reasons to get into/stick to a dance. Your Argentine tango is a perfect example.

    For me, once I find some music for a dance that fits my taste, well that is when I can really get into it. If you ask someone what their favorite dance is, I think music definitely plays a big factor in that decision. Although I love a good challenge as well and dancing has been nothing of it :)
  4. Wolfgang

    Wolfgang Member

    If you want American boys to choose a dancer as a role model, here's how:
    Show that dancer in the media (= TV, internet, I-something) earning gabazillions of $'s, getting out of limos - in a lightning storm of camera bulbs - with Megan Fox on one arm and Jenny McCarthy on the other.
    A few stories about arrests for drugs and assault can't hurt none, either.
    If you want boys who aren't White to be able to relate to the guy, you may want to make sure that dancer is of their ethnicity.
    Et voilá - America's Next Role Model.
  5. mjnemeth

    mjnemeth Member

    Used to be parents and family ! I can remember my parents doing swing not to mention foxtrot, walz an polka (well just my dad) some time in the late 50s early sixty. I belive that
    WAS norm then.
  6. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    that is what appears to be what got the girl...but how much money he has and how hot he is, doesn't make him a boy toy...he may be a person of subtance, and you insult her by assuming that those were her primary motives...I have seen just as many beautiful women with unattractive older men and get accused of a host of things as well...usually by people who....have some INTERNAL work to do....I don't know you so I can't extrapolate much about what you need or don't need
  7. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    Unfortunately, we have to create a generation of men from practically out of thin air who value artistic skill in order to have them support and affirm the upcoming son never would have been interested in playing an instrument had he not had a relative who was very manly, and hip also be a very proficient pianist and violinist....and a father who didn't get all twitchy about his not being athletic, and who exposed him to jazz and classical music from an early age....
  8. madmaximus

    madmaximus Well-Known Member


  9. madmaximus

    madmaximus Well-Known Member

    Some random observations... IMO

    FEAR is the reason that men don't dance (regardless of form or style), and all the excuses men use only serve to confirm that.

    Women (at least from personal experience) respond to 5 things when first meeting a man:
    • Sincerity
    • Confidence
    • Laughter (ie making her laugh)
    • Honesty
    • Dance
    In that order. 4 of which, are basic ingredients of good character.

    It requires cultural-level forces (at the least) to get men (en-masse) into a dance studio.

    Only a coordinated marketing effort around existing cultural-level norms and icon/s (that are captivated by or beholden to men) will make a change/dent.

  10. juwest333

    juwest333 Active Member

    I'm not sure if this point has already been mentioned before, but another major reason why many men don't dance may be because of jealousy. In particular, from their wives and girlfriends. Most dancers at various dancing events seem to be comfortable with and accept the idea/fact that they will have various dance partners throughout the night and will think nothing more of it, but there are a lot of men and women who are not comfortable with the idea of their significant other dancing in close embrace with another partner, especially if it's someone they don't know or haven't met.

    Even at the regular nightclub scene (which a lot of men frequent), you will rarely see a couple going out together and then dancing with different partners throughout the night. A lot of them would feel very uncomfortable/jealous with this.
  11. DL

    DL Well-Known Member

    I propose a moratorium on the phrase "gets the girl".
    Jarndyce likes this.
  12. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    Welcome, juwest333. Don't agree with your point about jealousy, though. If that was the case, we'd have a whole lot less married women coming to ballroom classes and socials without their husbands or boyfriends.
  13. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    I'm just enforcing a personal moratorium on reading posts that whine about that topic. ;-)
  14. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    That one kind of swings both ways. The music they like might get them in the door.

    If you play all popular music at socials, you alienate a core segment of the dance population. If you play strict ballroom tempo standards, you lose beginners that get bored with the music. It's a tightrope to walk.

    I would never have been interested in just listening to some of the slow waltzes and foxtrots that are my favorites to dance to.
  15. juwest333

    juwest333 Active Member

    Thanks. It's good to be here! You people are awesome!

    In regards to your comment, how about the other way around? Do you see a lot of married men coming to classes and socials without their wives and girlfriends?
  16. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

  17. juwest333

    juwest333 Active Member

    Hmmm...very well. Then I honestly have no other idea why more men don't dance. :-?
  18. Gorme

    Gorme Active Member

    Is the ratio of men to women more balanced in the country western scene? Their music is filled with references to dancing that it seems to be an accepted norm.
  19. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

    Yes (the music thing) and No (the order): think it should be the other way round: If you really like a certain music then try to find which dance or style actually fits the best. As the following quote shows:

  20. mjnemeth

    mjnemeth Member

    I was lucky enough be able to watch American bandstand as a LOCAL phily show. On it they had a rate a song feature; there is a classic quote(joke now) from it : "it has a beat and you can dance to it."
    I believe this is part of the problem, most top 40 song don't have a beat you can dance to.
    And I believe song writes no longer worry about that. So you except men to try to dance to
    something that was never written to dance? As said, men don't want the embarrassment.

    In the movie "take the lead" , one kids make the comment, "even are parent don't listen to to that"
    we are at least a generation past danceable music.
    By danceable music I definitely just mean music you can ballroom/latin or swing to.

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