General Dance Discussion > Women asking men to dance.

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by Spitfire, Oct 20, 2003.

  1. leee

    leee Well-Known Member

    Hi Chris, glad to see my brief excursion into blue comedic material has yielded SOME tangible results: now you know some execrable American slang!
  2. Wolfgang

    Wolfgang Member

    Well, this area certainly qualifies as high-tech, we have more research labs than most other places, including nuclear. It also qualifies as a lo-ridah ghetto gangsta area, with drugs, crime and teenage pregnancy rates to shock even hardy souls. In addition, we have one of the highest percentages of same-sex households on this continent.
    What all this translates to is that every dance environment you go to, there are more men than women, sometimes to the tune of 5:1.
    I've attended and/or watched literally thousands of dance lessons/classes over the past 7 years or so, in a wide variety of venues, from bars & night clubs to community centers, high schools, colleges and studios, and I can count the number of classes in which there were more women than men on my fingers. Yet, unfailingly, whoever the instructor(s) happen(s) to be, express surprise over this. Must be part of their 'shtick'.
    The only exception: Country line dancing, classes average around 20 particpants, 17-19 of them women. There are reasons for this, which I will leave to your imagination.
    At the bar, it's your standard ratio of 3-5 guys for every girl, worse on Fridays.
    At studios, I have attended lessons which consisted of 4 or 5 men and a male instructor playing the role of the follow. Yes, it can and does get that pathetic.
    Sometimes, on the odd occasion that there happen to be 1 or 2 'extra' women in a studio class, they will actually leave if they find themselves partnerless for 10 seconds between rotations. After having paid good money for the lesson.
  3. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

    Does migration only counts for men?
  4. Steve Pastor

    Steve Pastor Moderator Staff Member

    WAY too cool for most guys!

    Where ya been, Wolfgang?
  5. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    Hmm, I think I can guess where you live, Wolfgang, and that is a very unusual area. :)
  6. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

    ..must not touch each other?
  7. newbie

    newbie Well-Known Member

    Must be cool. Where I go, the followers who do that are the ones who don't get invites. Because they dance badly. And that's why I don't like to be invited, it's usually the sign that the lady cannot dance. After all if I had wished to dance with her then I would have issued an invite.
  8. Chris Eaton

    Chris Eaton Member

    Hi "Newbie", can you rephrase your post for me please?
    I want to say that I misunderstood what you are trying to say.
    If, on the other hand, I DID understand what you are trying to say, I don't think I really like it.
    Hopefully something has been lost in translation mmm?
    Borazine and toothlesstiger like this.
  9. dbk

    dbk Well-Known Member

    And this is where the typical "men ask women" setup disadvantages women... they don't get the choice, unless they want to be "rude" and decline.
  10. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    As Chris did, I would invite you to reconsider either the phrasing, or the sentiment, if the phrasing was accurate. Did you spring onto the dance floor fully formed as an expert dancer? Or did you, like most mortals, need some time to learn?
    Chris Eaton likes this.
  11. Chris Eaton

    Chris Eaton Member

    Here, Here! Well said.
  12. twnkltoz

    twnkltoz Well-Known Member

    This is why I rarely ask men unless I know they enjoy dancing with me. I don't want them to do it out of obligation. Yet, I am a good dancer, so your theory doesn't apply to me.
  13. alexandrahweis

    alexandrahweis Active Member

    I will ask anyone to dance. Doesn't bother me.
    dbk likes this.
  14. Wannabee

    Wannabee Well-Known Member

    I am often one of the better dancers at the studio socials (not that that is saying much, as our studio parties are small). But none-the-less, I'm definitely way ahead of most of the other students, male and female. I have been told that this gap in dance level between me and a "newbie" guy is why I sit out. They don't want to ask me because I'm far more advanced (their words).

    So you can't make generalizations that the females sitting out are the bad dancers and therefore not worth your time. But don't worry. I won't ask you. I'd be much happier asking another female and leading her :)
    kckc likes this.
  15. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    exactly, I think it is safe to say that I am not homely, or grossly out of shape, I am not arrogant, I exercise the best hygiene that I can on most occasions, and I am generally one of the better dancers at any venue I attend...and, let me tell you, unless there are a number of high level men, I will sit...often I will be the only one happens
  16. kckc

    kckc Active Member

    what Wannabee and Fasc. said. We either sit, or we do the asking. By their own admission, men are intimidated to ask because of the skill level differential.
    SwayWithMe likes this.
  17. Mr 4 styles

    Mr 4 styles Well-Known Member

    I can almost tell when men reach full silver without asking.. they are the ones not afraid to ask my wife
  18. snapdancer

    snapdancer Well-Known Member

    An over-generalization. Not true in all cases.
  19. cornutt

    cornutt Well-Known Member

    It is true pretty often, though. I've seen lots of what Fasc and Wannabe are talking about.
    toothlesstiger likes this.
  20. kckc

    kckc Active Member

    No more of an over-generalization than the statement that started this tangent (" Where I go, the followers who do that are the ones who don't get invites. Because they dance badly")

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