Discussion in 'Dancers Anonymous' started by fascination, May 10, 2009.
3wishes, what a wonderful day!
Yesterday. Up early. I have a zillion things to before work. I have to stop by the grocery and get DS stuff for lunch. He ate all of his lunchbox suitable stuff yesterday when I wasn't looking AND somehow forgot to mention that he was out of pretty much everything. I also have to pick up a couple items for a presentation I have that starts at 9:00. All of this and get DS to school in time to check out his preferred school camera, which he simply must have to complete his assignment by Monday. He also forgot to mention the camera until this morning. Yay.
But first, I have to get to the bank before it opens so that I can get some cash. My debit card expired and, amidst all the moving around and other assorted chaos, the replacement has gotten lost in the mail somewhere (and cancelled. No worries on that front.) Anyway. I will need lots f cash today, so off to the bank and in the drive through line at 7:53 in anticipation of the 8:00 opening. If I get help right at 8:00, I have a *slim* chance of being on time. I wait in line a full fifteen minutes. Yes. Fifteen. Apparently, the staff at this bank branch has not read the memo. 8:00 = 8:00. Steam rises from my head, especially when the teller asks me if I'm happy with my banking today. I want to say, "What do you think?" but I don't. Sarcasm helps no one.
To Target. Buy stuff for DS's lunch and stuff for my presentation. Snafu/miscommunication at the check-out leaves me very grumpy with DS (as in what about pay for your stuff separately do you not understand? Great. Now I have to explain to the voucher people at work why DS's lunch is on my business receipt.)
It's not until I'm driving DS to school *late* (meaning not as early as DS had hoped, but still a full thirty minutes before school starts) that I hear myself say, "It's not even 8:30 in the morning and I have already been through hell." This is when I realize that a chill pill is needed.
DS to school. Me to work. Arrive at 8:50. All is well ... which it would have been if I hadn't been stressing myself out since 6:00. Must ponder this, one of these days.
Anyway. After all the drama, the rest of my workday seems very anti-climactic.
Piddle. Piddle. Chat with friends. All in all a good Friday.
email from DS's French teacher, who encourages us parents to "observe" our kids studying this weekend. This is code for police their homework. Or, in ccm's words, just tell them to do it already. DS also has a "French culture project" due Tuesday. He has to cook something French, research a French historical event, find a piece of French literature or something else he forgot, and he has to present it on Tuesday. Great. He is completely oblivious to the hour-stealing implications of this assignment, but I go to work mentally. Cooking? Nope. His cooking equates to me cooking and most likely will mean either giving up my Monday evening or else getting up early Tuesday. Research a historical event? No freaking way. That's hours and hours of reading, writing and editing. I'm just not up for that. So literature it is. Le Petit Prince? "L'Etranger? Hah! Cyrano de Bergerac. Perfect. I've read it a few times, seen different versions of the movie and enjoy the story. And it's relate-able, to a fifteen year old who had a five-year crush that he never acted on. Perfect. Check B&N. They have a couple different translations of Cyrano and a couple different DVDs in stock. Yay. Do I care if DS wants to read Cyrano? Nope.
It's been a tough day. It occurs to me that there will likely be many more like it. When I was in high school, no one -- not me, my teachers, nor my parents, expected this level of parental involvement in day to day school life. I'm not sure what gives, but I'm fairly sure I don't like it.
Home. Order Chinese food. Eat a quarter of mine. Watch DS eat all of his and wonder where he puts all that food.
To bed to wait for Real Time With Bill Maher to come on. (Want to see Salmon Rushdie.) Asleep before the opening credits.
Oops. I forgot. Got DS's four-week progress report. Very nice.
P...why does any of that assignment require your effort?....my thought would be that your son is perfectly capable of googling French recipes...and making one for that matter...quiche is neither rocket science nor fraught with rare ingredients...my thought would be similar for historical events or literature...I mean surely he has access to "les mis"....I have to say, I think you might be doing yourself a dis-service and him as well...certainly it is your call to make...but given your stress related issues, it seems worth considering...particularly in high school....I cannot recall asssiting my children academically at all by that point in the game...obviously, they didn't struggle academically...but they also knew that they had to do it on their own...
Yeah. I hear ya. *sigh* Have been working on disengaging from DS's homework for a couple years, now. It's kinda hard when the teacher emails you and effectively tells you that she expects parents to get involved. I'll find a balance. Just haven't yet. *sigh*
I really appreciate your saying something. Really.
here's the thing...and I am honestly not intending to offend....maybe getting involved simply means; make sure the kid has something to show for himself...or know that he doesn't...it's a tough call but I think moving in that direction, particularly in HS may be in everyone's best interest..I remember being that age and I remember my brother at that age.... what we thought we could get our mom to do, we didn't much worry about...I think, though it may have been bumpy at first, both of us, particularly my brother who struggled in school, would have been better served by less help...in fact, at 38 he had his wife do alot of the work to finish his BA online and still knows that he has a safety net financially in my Dad..I love my brother...and only part of that dynamic is on him...I am not trying to project that onto you and your son...and hey, in the past year, I have done some of my own rationalizing and enabling...but, as much as I want to be important and valuable and critical to my kids, I also know that they are better off not needing me in THAT way...and there is only one way for them to get there....obviously, there are some ways in which we all need our parents...but sometimes it is a very good thing to not be so certain that they are there...and I get that I would be leaning in the " I'm there" direction if I was essentially doing most of it on my own....so I don't mean it as a critique at all....I just think that the combination or your health and his age, may make for a time of re-adjustment...take it, leave it...it is just a hunch...and I appreciate that I may be off base... am now off to try to sleep in spite of no capacity to breathe through my nose and stabbing spasms in the right side of my neck....you know you are in trouble when wine and bengay and claritin aren't working...best to you on finding the right balance
Yes. It is definitely time to make some adjustments and we will a bit at a time, so neither he nor I suffers too much. lol.
I hope you get a good sleep. *hug*
probably not happening but am going to try...have really had quite enough of this...dh is in 100 degree weather and hating it and I am stuck here completely unable to perform basic activities of human life...what I wouldn't give to be able to join him......am now well aware of why my grandfather moved to Tuscon alone... leaving my grandmother and bio-dad here.... due to allergies....zomg, wish I could sever my head from my body and still be living....just grateful that it is the weekend and the fact that I am in pain and on a wonky sleep cycle is of little consequence for now...but this has got to let up soon....
lessee...friday; teach a class, be miserable the rest of the day with allergies, a cold and a neck spasm.....
today, because it is almost over; go to a local farm/craft market, finish my AFAA ceus....I hope....take a walk, chat with dh, get some things done around the house....thinking much else is not likely
Today was my mother-in-law's birthday, so DW went to go visit her yesterday. So I was on my own for the Friday night party. Turned out there was a huge crowd; I dance for two hours, didn't dance with anyone twice except for one instructor, and still didn't get to a few of my favorite partners. Stayed afterwards to help them set up for tonight's showcase. This is the first studio showcase in a while that I haven't been in, and that was a bit weird.
Yesterday: Sleep until 8:00 Yay! Lounge while channel surfing and find, to my delight, that Bill Maher is being rebroadcast this morning. (I missed it last night out of sheer exhaustion.) Hmm. First guest is a guy whose name I can't remember, but whose book on the drug war sounds like a great read.
Watch the panel discussion. Not happy with Bill Maher these days. The reason I used to love the show was that there was even-handed (if somewhat lively) discussion, with both sides of the American political aisle fairly represented. Not so much, anymore. I get that you're a liberal Democrat, Bill, but hey. I watch your show to get insights into BOTH sides, not just yours. No fair, stacking the odds in favor of your side. Get some strong opponents, pally-o. I, like most of your audience, am smart enough to look at the facts and draw my own conclusions, and ftr, they're usually not in absolutes. Unlike your commentary. Just sayin.
Salman Rushdie is intriguing and erudite as expected. His new memoir also sounds like a good read. *add to amazon list*
Other stuff happens.
DS does his algebra homework, using his newly acquired calculator to cheat ... err... I mean check his answers. Not happy with calculators in high school algebra, but I guess I'm just an old dinosaur. *sigh*
To mall. Get Cyrano for only four bucks. (Love, love love when B&N reprints classics and makes them available on the cheap!) No Sparknotes in stock. Dang. DS will have to download shmoop. The great missing camera battery fiasco prevents DS from completing his photojournalism assignment. No battery = no photos. I take hands off and decide to let him figure it out. That should be entertaining.
Go online and buy DS some new jeans, knowing full well that they probably won't fit, two months from now. Myeh. At least they're on clearance sale and, when he's outgrown them, he can hand them down ... to my Dad. lol.
Make dinner. Plan party. Call GF. Veg. Zzz.
Drove down to Lincoln Park farmers market, up to E-town, tailgate, game (Cats win!), back home, watch Illini get waxed by LaTech, bed.
-Put in 8.5 miles on treadmill. Showered.
-Got my hair colored and cut by the wonderful ShaRita at Hair Cuttery.
-That evening, audition for VagMon 2013. We were allowed to pick what we wanted to read, and I read for Intro (w/2 women new to the cast ) and Happy Fact...but from a chat with the directors afterwards, I think they are thinking of giving me a bigger part.
-I'm also dealing with a lot of fallout and hurt feelings. At the interest meeting, the directors talked about doing a fundraiser at Chick-fil-a. As soon as those words were out of their mouths, I *KNEW* this was going to be trouble. I suggested Coldstone Creamery as an alternative great choice for a fundraiser, and very close to campus. Anyway, some of our (potential) cast is VERY, VERY upset about the insensitivity of the Chick-fil-a idea and have made individual appts with me at office hours to talk about it. (I am NOT the director or producer or even an official advisor, but I am the only faculty member in the cast.) I think/hope that the directors are going to drop the Chick-fil-a plan, but we shall see. This is our big 10th year production at the college and I don't want anything to interfere with women coming together to celebrate 10 years of us working together to raise money for our local rape crisis and and domestic violence shelter and raise awareness of these issues.
Child to escuela.
9:10--ENG 1101. Works Cited. Hands-on, practical exercise where we all have to do a Works Cited in teams of three. This was very productive, as it turns out that when people nod that they get it, they don't always really get it.
10:20--GLC. The Feminine Mystique. (I kept it on the syllabus, J_A!) Also discussed 1st/2nd/3rd wave feminism, which will hopefully be useful knowledge throughout the semester.
Lunch and then office hours that seemed like they would never end.
-2 separate people about the Chick-fil-a issue.
-2 Victorian Lit rough drafts.
-1 person about "Should I go to grad school, and if not, what should I do with my life?"
Watched "Seamonsters: A Prehistoric Adventure" for Family Fun Night.
Read Rushdie's Joseph Anton.
At work by 8:30!
Graded 2 essays.
9:45-10:45--Parents meet and greet.
11-1:30--Graded 3 more essays. Wrote a short speech.
2--Alpha Lambda Delta induction ceremony. I was the honorary faculty member. I gave my little speech.
3--Home. Child has one of her bffs sleeping over. They play. I read Joseph Anton. I get them veggie fried rice for dinner. (This is the friend who influenced her to become vegetarian in 2nd grade.)
I'm finding Joseph Anton very interesting! By the time I went to bed that night, Rushdie had been living in hiding for over a year. His three biggest problems:
1) The death threat on life means he has to live in hiding, which is emotionally trying and also limits the amount of time he can spend with his young son (who was then about the same age as my daughter is now).
2) His wife seems to be mentally unstable. For example, she visits America. She tells him she was visited by a CIA agent who told her that they had discovered Rushdie's hideaway and had snuck into it, and who allegedly have pieces of paper from the garbage can. This is very problematic b/c it suggests that the CIA is interfering in something the British Secret Service mission. But it also seems to be false...and this is a HUGE lie. Rushdie has to be moved. The President of the US and the Prime Minister wind up discussing whether this really happened. Etc.
3) Viking Penguin is leary about bringing out the paperback of The Satanic Verses and it is unclear whether anyone will take a chance on his next novel, even though he is a multi-award winning and bestselling author.
There also all kinds of other, ripple effect problems, like "How do you get your painful, impacted wisdom teeth removed when you are under a death threat?"
Rushdie's interview on Bill Maher was definitely worth the time. Rushdie said that, when he decided to write his memoir, it was very important to him that he be authentic -- that he tell the truth about things that he did, good and bad, and not gloss over the inelegant details. He said that books like his can too easily become self-congratulatory or apologetic. He wanted to avoid either of those by telling the truth, even when it showed him in a less than flattering light.
I also found it interesting that he likened his life, during that period, to a John Le Carre novel and noted the irony that his life was turned into the type of story that he doesn't write.
Very, very cool guy.
I'm looking forward to reading Joseph Anton.
ccm...in my view, regardless of where one stands on the C-F-A issue, the directors were boneheads to suggest that....in that one has to have had one's head under a rock to not appreciate what a divisive suggestion that was...
All My Yesterdays (recent edition):
Tuesday: take Spouse to bank to have yet more documents notarized, and write checks for yet more taxes and filing fees
Theater with Father
Back from theater; to home of Blond German Friend to pick up two practice dresses she's made
Try to sleep; not quite epic fail
Fly to Houston via Dallas; during change of planes, get life-changing phone call from lawyer re: divorce proceedings; apparently, I am now divorced
Become completely unhinged
Arrive Houston; spend balance of the day doing relaxing and delightful social things with dance buddies; manage to stay awake late, not my usual MO, but as I said, am unhinged, and nothing is "normal"
Spend morning reading in a gazebo by a fountain in a garden, EXACTLY what I needed and wanted to do
Lunch with friend
Dinner with dance buddies, then spend the rest of the evening watching dance videos with them; this is so bizarre for me; usually, I watch dance videos alone, and it's just delightful to have likeminded folks to watch with
No. Nothing is normal. *hug*
I remember the day my eldest sister's divorce was finalized. She came to visit us. This was unusual; she usually came over every few months, at the most, and always on weekends. This day, she showed up out of the blue in the middle of the week, in the middle of the day.
She made lots of bawdy jokes, laughed really loudly and simultaneously wept all afternoon.
It can hit like a ton of bricks. Be kind to yourself.
am doing so. thanks for the kind thoughts, today and always.
Separate names with a comma.