Discussion in 'Dancers Anonymous' started by fascination, May 10, 2009.
sun....laundry, practice, tan, coaching, dishes, couch potato/nursemaid...to bed around 10
Read some House of Leaves.
6 miles on treadmill. Shower.
Read some Last Apprentice: Curse of the Bane with Child.
Found my favorite pair of black work pants, which had been missing. Turns out I must have gotten dressed in a different room (maybe Husband was sleeping?) A light blue sweater and my black work pants were folded and placed neatly next to the printer.
Child and I went to Baltimore to watch a children's dance competition. The top team from her studio was in it competing in styles including tap, jazz, hip-hop, and contemporary. They even did a Bollywood style number.
Had a pretty lazy day. It was a grey, misty day and it just felt like a do-nothing kind of day. For better or worse, I did not fight it.
Read more House of Leaves.
Finished Last Apprentice: Curse of the Bane with Child. Started Last Apprentice: Night of the Soul Stealer.
Took a long nap in the afternoon.
Did a little laundry.
Did a little research into possible plane flights for possible trips. Since apparently my entire side of the family's summer vacation is contingent on me/my family (so the first trip I will take will be a guilt trip), AND we have to visit husband's mother and sFIL in Seattle, AND I have this odd desire to go to a trip OTHER THAN to the Jersey shore, Washington state, or New Mexico, this is going to require some logistical/calendar coordination.
OF COURSE, just to make things maximally annoying, Child and I have different spring breaks.
Husband is feeling worse again, health-wise. Day 84. I'll bet you thought he was better by now! He should be, but he isn't. That's why so many of my updates are "Child and I went to X." I don't think we are going to MAC this year, even to watch. It goes too late and his health is too poor.
Child got on my nerves a bit toward the end of the day.
Well, YES, having been a Colorado-ian,,,and remaining ski instructor, the last place I expect temps like this - is my front down - near Los Angeles. lol, wink.
BRISK - is the word of the day.
Finished packing, heading for Florida - 80 degree temps...and lots of gathering family members, nephews, cousins, sibilings, step-mother, bio-dad (for her 75th).
Leaving LAX "today"
Leaving brisk temps behind.
I wonder what your Mom would do if you boycotted the "Downa Shore" vacation altogether. It would not be pretty. Of this I am sure.
So sorry to hear that your DH is still feeling poorly. Surely this has to stop at some point.
Weekend: Alternately veg and sleep. Felt pretty darn good. I should do this more often.
@Pygmalion--I'm sure boycotting would not go over well. Apparently compromising does not go over well either. My choices are ONE SOLID WEEK, at the Jersey shore...or there will be no shore house for anyone and it will be my fault. To be clear, I love the shore. It's just not the only thing I love.
Last year, my in-laws pulled a more extreme varation of the same thing. The original plan had been one week in the Canadian Rockies...their choice of destination, their choice of dates, and they were paying for everyone. It was set up a year in advance. But then, absolutely out of nowhere, they cancelled that plan and asked everyone to do a 3 week cruise to the Arctic. My husband was like "I absolutely cannot do that, work-wise." Then it was all "Well, can CCM and Child come?" No way to do part of it, of course, and it interfered with some of Child's planned summer activities. So we didn't go and didn't see them at all...and I'm sure they are displeased about that.
There seems to be a sense that because I don't teach courses in the summer, I "don't work." Well, that has never been true and it will be especially not true this summer.
A) I will have 15 new advisees to advise.
B) As head of the FYS program, I will be responsible for placing kids into their sems in the first place and for making sure the other teachers of FYSes are doing their thing.
C) As head of the FYS program, I will also have some responsibilities with regard to orientation.
D) I need to do my own research and writing, both for my own personal satisfaction and so I will have accomplishments to put on my resume.
Sure, any given day in the summer (other than advising week or when I have a meeting), I may not "have" to go to work. Cumulatively, though, I have work to do.
Husband teaches right through the summer...and though he can take his work with him since he works at an on-line university, internet connections at the shore are often iffy.
So many years we spend all our available vacation time with family and just do weekend trips as a nuclear family. (We did a long weekend for Disney/Universal). But I have two trips I'm really jonesing to do that are hard to do in a long weekend given that we live in the east coast:
-San Francisco (Ideally including Yosemite, Chinatown, Golden Gate Park, Sausalito/Golden Gate Bridge, Berkeley/East Bay where I used to live, Muir Woods/Mt Tam...though given that we will probably only get a partial week to do this, it won't be all of this.)
-San Diego (Priorities include zoo, wild animal park, and Coronado. I would also like to fit in time to drive up to Malibu and see the Getty Villa, and to Venice to see my cousin, but that too might have to be a separate trip.)
It's fine. I'll make it work. Child may have to miss some school. I just notice that the only branch of the family doing any significant compromising is mine.
I also note that my family gets a full week at the shore and a family reunion weekend...AND usually several other weekends every summer, PLUS every birthday, every Mother's Day, and every Christmas. My New Mexico in-laws get Thanksgiving. My Seattle in-laws get nothing. Part of this is a matter of distance, but I'm sure there's some resentment, and I'll bet it is perceived as my doing. So that's fun.
-Searched for 1000-level courses which still have openings and advised a student.
-RSVPed to a "retreat" at work. Given that it is on campus--no doubt for economic reasons--shouldn't we call it an "in-service day"? I feel like an idiot saying I'm going to a work "retreat" at the place where I work!
-Read some House of Leaves, including the most visually tricky section. Got to parts where what he is doing with the layout are clearer.
-Made Pulled Chicken Sandwiches, making the meat in the slow cooker. I'm starting to have a little bit of a romance with the slow cooker.
-Child home from school and according to her, another little girl in her class told one of her BFFs that she (my child) is a b-word. I hope this report turns out to be false and that Child and this other little girl can work out their issues. (There is some tension because they both like M, one of Child's BFFs. Child will say--over-dramatically, though with good use of metaphoric language--"I have planted roots with M over the years. E is digging them up.")
-Read The Last Apprentice: Night of the Soul Stealer with Child.
-6 miles on treadmill. Shower.
-Polished off a very short book The Passion of Tiger Woods: An Anthropologist Reports on Golf, Race, and Celebrity. Meh.
Yay for slow cookers! I know the folks over in the recipes thread get sick of hearing me yammer on about them, but I truly believe in slow cookers. Amen and amen. These days, I try to adapt as many things as possible to the slow cooker. It makes life so much easier.
Just a few things. Have The Talk with DS. No, not that talk. We had that talk when he was nine. lol. I'm talking about the college talk. Or, as DS's BFF calls it, the "Get your s*** together, soldier," talk. Oy. Kids will kill you.
Me to DS: It's time to start seriously considering the impact of your grades on your cumulative GPA. As much as I hate to admit it, the words "permanent record" do in fact cross my lips. I say it jokingly, but both DS and I know it's true. High school GPA is considered, when it's time to get into college. Even a ninth-grade elective can have an impact. No grade is a throwaway. And so on. IOW Get your s*** together, soldier. *sigh*
I cannot believe the things I'm hearing myself say or the way that I'm saying them. I'm floundering, here. Parenthood is so hard! I honestly cannot tell if I'm motivating him or scaring him. And, even if I am scaring him I don't know if that's a bad thing.
And then, just because I'm warmed up now and cannot shut up, I segue into the close cousin to The College Talk -- the And While We're At It, Let's Criticize You Just a Little More Talk. (Thank goodness I limited my scope to school work and grades.)
When I finally get my lips to stop flapping, I take a breath. "Am I criticizing you for no good reason?" (Yes. I want to assuage my guilt by trying to sound reasonable.) "No. You're criticizing me for a good reason. Mom." Oy! Just stick the knife in my heart and twist it, son! lol.
We look at DS's grades online grades. Conclusion: DS's problems are 1) Poor organizational skills and 2) A lack of willingness to use rote memorization. Just kidding! Mostly. But yeah. DS's big problem, IMO, is that he is not willing to spend the necessary time studying. Bottom line: DS has to step up.
At the end of the day, we have an action plan. I set an expectation for grades. Until DS gets his grades where they need to be, he will attend tutorials at school every morning. He will also use his day planners in every class. I will check his day planner, ask him about assignments and help him with homework every day, as needed. Fair enough. Long road ahead. *sigh*
Yesterday part 2
In other news:
An hour on phone with older Sis, S. I always intend to talk for her for five minutes, but never manage fewer than sixty. Love, love love her. She's at Mom and Dad's overseeing the final touches on her new house. Lots of news. The biggest surprise is that, three(?) years after it was filed, Sis's divorce is still not final. I find this mind boggling.
Hour talking to Mom. Mom is happy. Sis will be living across the street from the PUs. What's not to like? Dad is doing what old men do -- pretending he's not old. As in refusing to apply for a handicapped tag for his car, even though walking is painful at best. Oh well. *shrug*
And the biggest news is that I had an hour-long conversation with the ex for the first time in years. I mean years as in something in the neighborhood of a decade or maybe even more. The conversation is all about DS but still. I make it all the way through without any Tourette's-like outbursts. He makes it through without carefully syllabizing (sp?) my name before saying, "I'm going to hang up now." This is one for the record books. I truly don't know what to make of it.
Afterward, I start thinking. When the ex and I were going through the worst of things, I used to tell him stuff like, "You know, when everything is said and done and all the dust clears, I will be all right, but you will have to live the rest of your life with the knowledge of the things you did. I wouldn't take a million dollars to be in your shoes, then." (Yes. The kind of divorce I went through ups the melodramatic quotient in a big way. lol) Today, I realize that what I told him back then is true. Today, I am okay and on my way to great, while the ex will forever have to live with the choices he made that have caused him irreparable loss. Very sad. But it is what it is. As my Dad always says, "You pay your money and you make your choice."
Done. But isn't that enough? *grin*
mon...teach a class. drive to indy, 4 lessons, dinner as per usual....best sleep in months..
tues...run errands, lessons(continuation of wonderfulness), drive home, teach spin, group class at local studio....home to collapse....feeling as though I have definately over done it
@Pygmalion--My two favorite lines above were "I make it all the way through without any Tourette's-like outbursts" and "Dad is doing what old men do--pretending he's not old." That second one I can relate to. My Dad will go to something like a high school reunion and will remark that there were a lot of old people there. I never know if he is kidding or not, especially because he'll sometimes add "No, but some people LOOKED really old!" It is true that he and my Mom look pretty darn good for people in their 70s, but still....
Trying to get out of the house, but then got caught up doing annoying things like putting away laundry, the upshot of which is that I didn't get to work until 10:15.
-Roughed out syllabus and grading rubric for graduate course I will be teaching this spring.
-Work on conference paper. Currently working on the section about Mohsin Hamid's The Reluctant Fundamentalist.
Also took a brief break to go get brows waxed. (Place is just a few blocks from campus.)
Oh, and heard a little campus gossip from a friend.
Picked up Child. Read with Child. Took Child to dance.
5--Child's 3.5 hours of dance.
As soon as we got there, I remembered that we still have gift cards--Christmas presents!--for some of her teachers from the holidays and I left them at home. (*Child missed Tuesday classes just prior to Christmas as it conflicted with her winter music concert, and 3 of her 4 Tuesday dance teachers were absent the first week in January.) It's a 25-30 min drive each way, but I decided to do it. Unfortunately, accident on single lane each direction road made the drive take significantly longer. Yuck.
Back. Gave Child gift cards. Helped her with her hip-hop shoes.
Read House of Leaves. I think I may be able to finish this by Monday.
Home. Put Child to bed.
Spent a little time looking at some of the materials for the Academic Planning Committee. So far there have been 14 position requests. Clearly, not all of them will be funded. So we get to decide and rank.
Ballet, which is fun, but who am I trying to kid? don't know how much longer I'll be doing this
Errands like mad; don't get home until after after 4 and have to be back at studio @ 7 for
Group class, better than last week, for me, at least
Home, wired, can't sleep
Wake in the morning covered with some kind of bites, itchy red welts from mid-thigh to navel, very odd and looks *terrible*
Pick up van from Ex; pick up treadmill from father's house, where it's rotting and awaiting landfill status; bring treadmill to Ex, so he can get off the effing couch and maybe be able to walk at his next show; <startrant>he has been sitting, watching TV and playing solitaire, for the past 9 months, complaining of leg cramps and back pain; <startBIGrant>ya think? get up and move, buckaroo, you'll feel better, generate a couple of endorphins and maybe you'll be less depressed *and* be able to move around the shows you love and where you make your living;<endBIGrant> why I give a damn I do not know, but I was glad to get rid of the treadmill; it's a no-motor item, will be very good for him b/c he'll have to make it work<endrant>
Coffee with DB#2, discuss recent studio drama
Home; kitchen therapy! Cook enough food for a week, I'm a true believer in "cook once, eat many times" and will do large batches of ratatouille, roast big chickens, make half a dozen pork chops, roast a couple of heads of cauliflower, steam a big pot of brown rice, etc, and assemble meals for days out of what's around, rather than making something new every night; you'd be amazed at what you can do with leftover chicken, brown rice, an assortment of veg, chicken broth, a little dairy, maybe some dijon mustard, some lemon juice, and good spices; father is pleased b/c I've also made mashed potatoes, and he loves him some mashed; he will make that instant crap, it's enough to give me the heaves
Z late, wake 4am, enough with the early wakeup call, cat!
Shovel driveway, which is between 500 and 800 feet long, depending on how thorough a job I want to do, and how much time I have; yes, driveway gets longer as I get tired-er, amazing how that happens ;-) and I give up around the 500-foot mark, b/c it's heavy, wet snow and I can get out and if necessary, an ambulance can get up; yes, folks, this is now my main reason for clearing the driveway: Just In Case; TDNWMH and I wish I could stop worrying, but that will likely only happen as a terminal event, one way or another; driveway is not only long, but on a hill, with curves; tilted and curved and slanted, many a delivery truck has gotten stuck in snow, not to mention countless cars; people always think, "what's the big deal" and then they find out, bwahahahaaaa! in snow, it's the driveway equivalent of the Bermuda Triangle: you get partway in, you can't get out
Time to hire a plow, I am too old for this crap; nephew #1 has moved in with his GF, #2 is going back to college, and I ain't gonna shovel no more no more
Lesson, which predictably does not go so well; I am Tired; Teach gets testy with me
Sephora! Retail Therapy! Apple Store! More RT! Best Buy! Yet More!
Home, din, conversation, Z ridiculously, embarrassingly early
i swear to god, one of these days I'm going to head in up to visit and just learn that skill...cuz I do not have it at all.
get a snowmobile, or a tractor..
Or a teenager. They will be happy to take a little cash off you, and I'll bet they will charge less than what you would pay for a massage afterward!
I have to say that one of the things I love about my house is that it has a really short driveway. Does it look as beautiful as a long, sweeping driveway? No. Is it easy to deal with in the winter? Yes.
I also just happen to live next door to a guy with a plow who will often plow my short driveway for me, gratis. He also plows the whole neighborhood. (We live on a private road.)
And FTR, I would wanna see a pic of that...
No snowmobile or tractor is ever going under my rear end. Clearing the driveway comes under the heading of "someone else should do this," as does plumbing, sheetrock, painting, repairs, etc. Done and done. Sorry, Sami; no photo. You remember the driveway? Nice in summer, but.
The local teenagers take one look and back away slowly. Not to mention, there are hardly any local teenagers, and this is a high-rent district; they don't do manual labor around here. I think we were the last generation to live here before everyone around us sold their homes to rich folks. Rich folks do not shovel. They hire day laborers. However, in order to hire a day laborer, I need to be able to get out of the driveway. Catch-22.
blurrrrr, Virgin America to Fort Lauderdale...lovely flight.
Pick up rental, zzzz for evening.
hit the road north, stop to see some sights along the eastern coastline of Florida while
traveling to Titusville to meet up with little sister (haven't seen her in YEARS as she lived in Austria).
Huge hugs, my nephews are SO BIG/TALL now....I feel like a little lady next to them.
Nephews proceed to tell me about the alligator in the back yard lake, bob cat that poaches the yard, opossum and racoon that make themselves at home...oh yea!!! lol.
Head out after dinner to Orlando.
Spend all day yesterday at the Animal Kingdom and photograph TONS AND TONS of wildlife. yea!
Go to see a couple of movies at downtown Disney and relinquish our feet to the evening of rest.
Separate names with a comma.