Dancers Anonymous > yesterday's activities

Discussion in 'Dancers Anonymous' started by fascination, May 10, 2009.

  1. j_alexandra

    j_alexandra Well-Known Member


    Again with the taxes
    Long-lost friend surfaces, to mixed reviews
    Shovel a path in driveway so I can get to...
    Lesson, in which wonderful things happen
    Brief time with the Ex, dealing with Norway package that got returned by Customs; TDNWMH
    Home; make lasagne, in spite of best efforts of kitten to keep that from happening
  2. cornutt

    cornutt Well-Known Member

    I personally don't like it. And in particular, when politicians do it, it comes across as both phony, and mocking the audience. Maybe I'm just sensitive to it because I've heard so many bad imitations of Southern accents.
    Sania and danceronice like this.
  3. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    I hear ya. Still learning to use my new laptop, so my long response got eaten.

    I think that all politicians code switch, even though it's more obvious with some than others. We're talking about powerful (mostly) men, (mostly) millionaires, (mostly) American born, who have to somehow make themselves relatable to poor people living in the Appalachians, and women, and immigrants, for example. No way in heck I'd go to Podunk, WV, and speak with Oxford University English. Politicians have to get across the message that they are governing everyone, not just the Rhodes scholars and Yale Law grads like themselves. They ALL do it. That's politics. Which doesn't belong in DF. *shrug*

    I would contend that techies do it too. Want funding for your latest widget? Go talk to the money guys, in a language they understand. Sure as heck not techie. You've gotta talk money, to the money guys.

    Same deal with me. I talk to people in a way that I think will make it easier for them to hear me. Like the Apostle Paul said in Romans something or the other, "When I speak to Romans, I speak as a Roman. When I speak to Jews, I speak as a Jew."** I don't think there's anything wrong with customizing your message to your audience.

    ** This is paraphrased. I can't remember the exact quote.
  4. ChaChaMama

    ChaChaMama Well-Known Member

    I hear you. I wasn't necessarily talking about politicians, though. I was talking about regular folks in day-to-day discourse.

    To use the language of the academy, we participate in different "discourse communities," with different vocabularies, grammar rules, idioms, manners of address. If you don't code switch to some degree, you come across sounding stuffy or out of place.

    To give a minor example:
    I grew up in suburban NJ in the 1970s. When I was a kid, your friends' parents were "Mr and Mrs. Last Name," e.g., "Mr. and Mrs. Dresner," "Mr. and Mrs. Kostin," "Mrs. Isenberg," etc. Parents were known to have first names, but children did not get to use them.

    My kid is growing up in MD in the 2000s, and around here, kids refer to their friends' parents or adult neighbors as "Mr. and Miss First Name." So kids will say "Mr. Andy," "Mr. Keith," "Miss Cecilia." Now, I could insist on "Mrs. Last Name," but to do so would be to insist on standing out.

    When I lived in California in the early 1990s, I was friends with an African-American woman, and her community, it was "Miss Aunt First Name," regardless of your actual relationship to someone. So she was "Miss Aunt Shirley."

    Another example:
    I am in a different internet group, and in this group, someone mentioned having seen the word "recalcitrant" a few times this week and thinking of that as a real $10 word. Within my family and my professional life, that would not be considered a weird word at all. I do sometimes catching myself using words that other people probably find a little too high-falutin' and college professor-y. If I don't code switch to a degree, I risk being perceived as a show off. I want to be perceived as smart, but not as full of myself.
  5. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    I love this example. In my A-A community, Auntie has a very specific meaning -- second in line matriarch.

    Big Momma is the grandmother or great grandmother who's still living. Auntie is Big Momma in waiting aka She Who Must Be Obeyed.

    That is what it is. Does it stop me from talking with my non A-A friends about their "Ants?" No. I just know that, when I go home, it's "Auntie." Ahn-TEE. Most Black people I know don't have "Ants." They all have Aunties.

    It's understanding other people's culture.
    ChaChaMama likes this.
  6. cornutt

    cornutt Well-Known Member

    P, I've read your and CCM's comments on the code-switching thing. I agree with you that nearly all politicians (in the U.S. at least) of all stripes do it, and the few that don't are generally regarded as incompetent campaigners. Well, enough about politics.

    I'll have to think about some of the rest of it. My first reaction is to think that there is a difference between adopting (or dropping) the vocabulary and jargon of a particular vocation according to who the audience is, and adopting non-standard usage and grammar in a cloying attempt to be "buddies" with the audience. However, I admit that this is far from a persuasive argument. I'm well aware that almost any group adopts certain lingo, the usage of which is to show solidarity with the group, in addition to the obvious meaning. (We have some of that here on DF.) I'll have to do some research.

    Interesting. So as I understand, the title "Auntie" only applies to one person at a given time. What do you call your parents' other female siblings?
  7. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    sunday; cuddle-a-thon day 1, then back to residence in for gnocchi bolognese and fro-yo
    j_alexandra likes this.
  8. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Aunt [first name]. Confusing, isn't it?

    When my Dad's sisters were living, I had Aunt Janie and Auntie whose name was Lucille, but nobody called her that. She was Auntie to all jillion of us cousins. There was only room for one Auntie.
  9. ChaChaMama

    ChaChaMama Well-Known Member

    8:20--Drop off kid.

    9:10--ENG 1101. Debates on whether more colleges should go SAT optional.

    10:20--GWII. Anna Karenina.

    11:30--Meeting with an advisee about her study abroad plans.


    1-2:30--Meeting with Assistant FYS Director. Work through long agenda.

    3--Pick up Child.

    Grocery store.

    We eventually watch half of "You Only Live Twice."

    Long phone convo with Bestie.

    Phone convo with Dad to work out birthday party arrangements.
  10. ChaChaMama

    ChaChaMama Well-Known Member

    Clean up house.

    Take Child to gymnastics b/c Husband not up to it.

    Make Beef Stew. Short 1 ingredient, again. Okay, this is absurd. Our pantry is full of stuff, but apparently not the stuff I need. We need to do a massive clean out and then re-load.

    4-8--Birthday Party!
    -Before I know it, everyone is blowing up letters. (My Mom is all about projects.)
    -Husband gets a book Don't Let the Republicans Drive the Bus, a satire on Don't the Pidgeon Drive the Bus.
    -We play a big family game of Taboo.
    -Dinner. Everyone likes my beef stew!
    -We play Happy Birthday on the hand bells. (See above: My Mom is all about the projects!)
    -Cake and more presents. Husband gets a shirt (from mom), and some personalized postage stamps (from my sister), and a game of Klingon Monopoly (from us). My Mom gets two Vincent Van Gogh print scarves (from us).

    Husband falls asleep around 9:30 and sleeps about 12 hours. That took a lot out of him. I would not describe him as better yet.
  11. ChaChaMama

    ChaChaMama Well-Known Member

    Adjust various clocks.

    Send a motherlode of work related e-mails.

    Child and I take dog for long walk on sunny, gorgeous day.

    Read some of The Last Apprentice: Attack of the Fiend.

    Grocery store.

    Read Will Self's Umbrella. This is the most challenging novel I've read in a long time.
  12. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    @ccm When you're reloading, please consider buying multiple cans of tomatoes. Just sayin.:D
  13. ChaChaMama

    ChaChaMama Well-Known Member

    Lol! Last night, I bought a couple cans of diced tomatoes, a couple cans of tomato paste, and a couple cans of that tinned tomato sauce which can pretty much only be used as part of the base when making chili or stew. Embarrassingly enough, the same problem came up again when I went to make the beef stew! This time, I needed tomato paste and didn't have that either. I only needed 2 tbsp, but still--annoying! I had fresh grape tomatoes, but no canned stuff...and I'm not sure how one would convert real live tomatoes into tomato paste. I decided marinara sauce was going to have to do!

    Seriously, forgetting one ingredient at the store is sooo annoying...and doubly so because I have no one but myself to blame!
  14. j_alexandra

    j_alexandra Well-Known Member


    To the Ex, to re-ship package to Norway, fingers crossed
    To NY; drop father at his theater, then go to studio on 35th St. between 7th and Broadway to take what I thought would be a workshop-y kind of seminar from Bill Davies, and turned out to be a class in Standard Foxtrot; my dance shoes stayed home, oopsie;
    Powerwalk to Worldtone (38th and 8th, which sounds not that far away but walking in NYC can be on almost the same scale of difficulty as, say, Lewis and Clark's journey) and powerspend an ungodly sum of money on a pair of Paoul shoes,
    Powerwalk back to studio and arrive only 5 minutes late; class interesting, Bill charming, but I am out of my depth in a class with only 5 other people, all of whom (including the junior high age kids) are far more accomplished in Standard than I
    Call Worldtone and find out if my sunglasses are there; they are; powerwalk back to Worldtone, pick up sunglasses, powerwalk back to garage @36th and 6th
    Pick up father outside theater, drive home
    BFF comes over after din with a bottle of astonishingly yummy Irish whiskey, to which we pay due homage
    Pass out oops I mean Z
  15. j_alexandra

    j_alexandra Well-Known Member


    Take self to breakfast at a diner b/c it's gonna be a looooong day
    To local bakery and buy 6 pounds of assorted yummy cookies
    To studio, drop off cookies, help with arrangements for day of dance classes for different kinds of differently-abled people; first up is a group of adult developmentally disabled, who have been working with DB#1 for a couple of years, and have a blast; camera crew arrives, this day is being videoed for Univision's morning program; the reporter is a hottie in a skin-tight orange t-shirt, just imagine any newsreader on Fox wearing THAT!
    Second class is wheelchair dance; there are new faces, one of whom is a young guy who has so little strength in his arms and hands that he has a powerchair, he's a real cutie, he loves to dance; he tells me he used to go to one of the local dance studios before he was in the chair (3 years now) and I said, motorcycle accident? no; MS; and if your heart isn't broken yet... in his 20s, with MS so badly he can barely speak, and came out to dance. in his chair. and a smile from heaven.
    3rd afternoon event was a class for visually impaired, and Teach had everyone up on their feet and moving -- turns out, they already knew how to dance; one of the men I dance with is a seriously accomplished salsa guy, sooo much fun
    After classes, to home of DB#4 for wine and din; did I mention wine?
    Home; z
    Purr likes this.
  16. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    cuddle-a thon day 2 followed by shopping for Mr. Cuddles and then dinner at korean food nom nom
    j_alexandra likes this.
  17. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    To Target for groceries. Small, small basket as DS is with his father.(Don't get me started!) I did not buy canned tomatoes, however, as I have plenty. :D

    Only noteworthy thing is that I see the cashier who's old enough to be my father ask the supervisor who's young enough to be my daughter for a bathroom break. This does not warm my heart at all,and I really don't think it has anything to do with Target overall. This chick is ...a[w] itch. I've seen her stand beside another employee, who stuttered and giggled uncontrollably the entire time I was checking out

    Abuse of positional power. Mmm Hmm. Yeah. I'm going to report the [w]itch to corporate. She's awful.
  18. Purr

    Purr Well-Known Member

    Seriously? Reading this brought up the visual of the scene from the Shawshank Redemption, where Morgan Freeman, a bagger in a grocery store, asked the boss to take a bathroom break. The bosss told him he didn't need to ask - just go.

    Report the cashier - this is dreadful. Usually at Target the restrooms are close to the front near the checkout, so taking a quick bathroom break shouldn't be an issue. When you have to go, you have to go.
  19. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    I wouldn't have been so appalled if the store had been busy, but it wasn't. I was the only person in his line. *sigh*
  20. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    *sigh* Just filled out the Guest Experience Feedback Form and complained about the Mean Supervisor at Target. I feel terrible. I HATE doing stuff like that, but honest to goodness. I have seen her abuse employees at this store so many times. Like the poor lady I mentioned above who stuttered and giggled. This is a woman that I have had dozens of pleasant interaction with. Dozens. The day this manager decided to harass her, the supervisor stood one foot away, in her personal space, and watched the entire transaction. While the poor lady was trying to make change for me, the Mean Supervisor said to her in a surly voice, "I'll talk to you later, J." I wanted to say, "Could you please leave the woman alone? If you did, she might be better able to do her job, you jerk!" I didn't say it though. I think poor J might have wet herself if I did. She was SO nervous.

    That is not management. That is harassment. And I've had my say.

    So why do I feel bad? *sigh*

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