Discussion in 'Dancers Anonymous' started by fascination, May 10, 2009.
time to find a new hotel?
Friday last: reading, gardening, theater: just in case anyone's interested, the new version of Pippin is WONDERFUL
Saturday: errands; social dancing, which I enjoyed b/c a friend I haven't seen in a while was there, and he is simply delightful to dance with
Sunday: work competition in Stamford, CT; dinner/wine tasting with friends at favorite restaurant, a memorably lovely day
Ballet, probably for the last time, my knees just can't take it
Lesson, in which more new stuff happens and I start to integrate it into last week's new stuff
Visit from my buddy the contractor, his wife, and the 4 month old baby, as well has his 4 year old daughter; my father, who adores babies and little kids, is deleriously happy, the kids are happy, I'm happy; contractor and wife seem happy; a great visit
Another visit, from photo buddy
To House of X to pack and ship some stuff
Home, din, Z
Gyro postponed, yay; I have a crazy busy day
Lesson, in which things get memorably interesting and I get an actual "well done" from Teach
To NY to have a session with Yamuna, a bodyworker who defies description, it's worth looking her up online; the session is magnificent
Drive home; change clothes lightning fast, and... drive back in, to go to theater; Bette Midler is wonderful, but the show is not
yes...time to find a new hotel...2 strikes and no apology or refund as of yet...done
Tuesday - hour drive for hike in park, dancing at weekly swing dance, followed by 1 hour drive home and then Latin dance for 15 minutes
Wednesday - Turns out 15 minutes of Latin dance was worth it as club owner needed to get a dj next week and thought of me. So djing the 14th of May. (I think she would ahve even if I didn't go as I usually dj whenever there is a 5th Tuesday of the month, but it can't have hurt - plus got to see some people that I haven't seen in a long time when I was there.)
Also, swing dance at Lot 10. Met a nice lady there...ended up having a good conversation about dance with her and a couple other people.
back in the office after a weekend of:
dining at Bazaar
dining at nobu malibu
dining at morels at THE Grove and seeing the cast of the Voice minus usher adam levine is handsome and shakira is ..... mario lopez was there too
being in the DWTS audience monday and meeting brooke burke
including yelling at Len for missing the Salvador
seeing iron man 3
seeing django unchained in the hotel
i need a nap ... work is easy compared to play
awake in the wee hours itching ...teach blast at 8...scrape wallpaper off gym bathroom walls...lecture self for this folly...home to pay bills feed animals, and do laundry, back to gym for more of same...dinner with dad and his wife soon...as if I didn't have enough need of adult beverage....
enjoy....in moderation of course
actually...it has to be iced tea...b/c otherwise, I will fall asleep in my soup
A bunch, here goes.
Drove through Salinas, Calif to Redding. Redding to Eugene Oregon. Rainy, gloomy until hitting Eugene, GOREGOUS sunshine.
Pull into DD#2 driveway, and 3 kid-let faces are staring out her living room window. It's been years (don't go there, don't ask).
While pulling into driveway, her DH pulls in from work.
Huge Hard Hugs, all the way around. Gifts for everyone - Mother's Day and GD#1 Birthday - covered!
Smiles and conversations at 90 miles an hour - as everyone catches up with each other, dragged by kid-lets throughout house,,,boys are now "over it" and head to park next-door for some football.
Our hotel is across from University of Oregon, and it has the weirdest sloped floors,,,not a little sloped...ALOT.
DH and I start laughing...seriously? every room....the floor is at a definate angle...decided hotel must be on flood plain.
DD has next day mapped out.
We head to Florence Oregon, very pretty small beach town, reminds me of growing up with my parents.
Sand dunes, fishing boats, GD#1 is walking/running so fast with her long legs at all of 12 years old. Soon to be 13.
DD is dead set on sending us home with a U of O duck shirt for DS,,,,as they text back and forth teasing each other.
Head to casino, very nice drive. Really, I forgot how great the coastal drive is here.
Homeward, arts and crafts and painting rocks.
Next - Powell Book Store in the Pearl District of Portland. GD leaps for joy, her nose is always in a "real" book, DH and GD eyes light up...when entering the book store,,,,she literally RUNS up the flights of stairs to start at the top room.
lol, baskets and baskets of books later - 4hours worth...and multiple rooms, creaking floors, lunch in the coffee shop, we start our way back to Eugene.
DD takes us to VooDoo Donuts,,,hysterical. And the only place I know of that gives away a bucket of "day" old donuts at the end of the day...like oodles of buckets. Quite a fun walk through downtown.
DD gives us the grand tour of buildings, where she works, etc etc. GD has nose in book until we hit the donut shop...
Dinner is Italian and we have a rightous laughter hour with the waiter....he must not have anything to do and he sits with us. Ok, this is comical now.
DD shows me all the makings for 30, yes 30, pre-teens that will invade her home on Saturday for the major 13th birthday party. Where has the time gone?
Laundry, and very bad news arrives for DH over the phone. We cut our visit short by 2 days, and head out Friday morning for home.
DH is still sick and I can hear his lungs, but we drive 950 miles in one day, straight shot down I-5 south to get home 16 hours later. Seriously? CalTrans shuts down the I-5 Grapevine to one lane at night? for miles....while working on a 50 yard stretch....no wonder I hate driving the pass.
Unpack, put everything away, nighty night at midnight cause Saturday is going to be a really really long sad day.
Sorry to hear that, 3wishes. Thinking of you and your family.
Yesterday, attend funeral (I note to self, how odd, that this is the day my own mother passed in 2004).
Go to home where we run into our very first "social circle of newly marrieds" from our very young days.
Spend time helping out. Pastor sits next to me in front lawn chairs, we talk for the longest time.
DS and employees of ours also come, attend, help out. thank you...prayer...that they all jumped in to help without being told or asked.
Eyeball DH who is still unable to breath and listen to his lungs squeeze air in and out. Week 3.
Take DH home, inform him, he's going to hospital and I'm taking him in the morning. He's exhausted and I know he needs to get his wits about him before yet another unplanned thing happens or I take him in.
DD#2 Facebooks me alot of pics of Texas grandkids...they grow like weeds...lately.
Neighbors come over, hang out, quietly chat,,,express concern over DH's breathing. Yep, I know, week 3,,,,
Go to sleep when everyone leaves, early afternoon.
Wake up early evening, check on DH, light supper, look up urgent care centers vs emergency room.
DH sleeps sitting up, yet again, and I'm reminded of an old saying "you can always tell a Norwegian, you just can't tell them much" lol.
Put DH into recliner so he can breath easier, go to computer, look up marks from comp,,,elated...secretly.
Close down the house, enjoy the night sky stars, and embrace the quiet.
hoping he gets well soon...hug
fri--teach bike and bench to a full house...feel quite proud of self for the creation of this class....drive to indy for lessons 9-12 of the week...this, combined with 6 other hours of fitness, bed bug trauma and a food borne illness, and let us just say that I was not remarkable...plus, I think having a comp scheduled immediately ruins my capacity to dance and we are going to have to talk about that...to bed around nine
sat ...son arrives home for mother's day weekend...we make tacos we go to sports authority for "stuff"...we play "big bang theory" game....
doing today now as I do not foresee getting up off the couch til bedtime....
wake at 9:30...glorious...have coffee...see beautiful azaleas from son and also some echinacea and some verbena ....very wonderful...dtr is at school but she made me a scarf and some homemade glycerin soaps...and dh did the dishes (my favorite gift)...I look at possible entries for three comps this summer and I order some new shoes...also do some laundry and tan...we thought we might do some gardening and weather treating of deck and furniture but it was too cold..attempt a brief practice but body isn't feeling it....continue taco fest...so, it has been a quiet day, but that was really more of what I needed than what I had planned
So today is now yesterday and quite the blur and since "today" is going to be longer than most days, driving up the hill, taking step dad to all his pre-op appointments and being told, yet once again sigh, how I "should do things" and he just doesn't understand me...etc etc....give me strength.
Motored around house this morning, putting stuff from trip away, picking up,
Watched DH asleep in his chair, sitting up most of the night. My inner self is telling this is really not good "you know it's not good...just listen to him".
Wake DH up at 8:30, tell him urgent care opens at 9a.m. A white lie...I take him to Emergency Room at hospital down the street from us,,,explaining, "hey they have the x-ray machines and urgent care doesn't" otherwise he would not go.
Drop DH off at entrance, tell him to go to window and check in while I park the car.
I know what's going to happen. and it does
DH walks slowly up to window, says "I can't breath" and it's labored....DH is swarmed by 7 ER staffers. Good thing no one was at ER this morning as in patients waiting to be seen.
I go to waiting room, with 7 magazines from Oregon about traveling. I know it's going to be quite awhile.
3 hours go by. Nurse comes to get me. Takes me to DH.
DH looks at me and says "I really screwed up this time babe, I'm so sorry" ....hold hand, tell him "I already know" kiss his head.
Heart tests, angiogram, sonagram, x-rays, cat scan-mostly negative results (which this is really good except for).......fluid surrounding the heart...early onset heart failure....he's admitted to ICU. His rhythm is also out of wack.
Doctor plows him with Lasix, pain meds, and a garden variety of other items and tests.
Informs me that DH entered ER with a heart rate of close to 200 per minute, about ready to stoke out.
Go through all the questions, the clothing, the this, the that.
Place call to DS, who then calls DD#1 and DD#2. Head home to collect items, drop off items, get lunch and head back.
DS must have broken the land speed record, I was gone a mere 40 minutes,,,and DS is following me into the parking lot of hospital (ok, he lives almost an hour away on a good day with no traffic).
DS and I take turns in room with DH. Cardiologist enters,,,,goes through questions, answers, proposes what will happen and drug therapy...etc. Must get heart back into rhythm and fluid needs to exit as well.
DS handles everything for me, including his dad. The ICU nurses are chatting and like DH alot it seems.
For the first time in months, DH has color in his face...well...that plus lines, stickers, needles, IV's and a nitro patch.
A sort of human porkipine. DS and I come home...make supper, relax place calls. Watch TV, then receive call from DH to DS...DS goes back to hospital - says dad needs a partner in crime...ahhhhhh, the gruesome twosome.
Tomorrow will be a better day. It will be, it will be, it will be.
It will be. IT WILL BE. <giant hug>
DF-ed late last night. After DF-ed posting on DH, Got out bucket, poured in boiling hot water with white vinegar, knifed the kitchen wallpaper in breakfast corner and starting scraping, peeling wallpaper off for kitchen project. It was really late, too much energy to contain, DS watched, stopped through kitchen a few times to offer hints but no help, he knew better, I needed a release from the events of the day with DH. Must say, THAT was good for me, and the original yellow wall to the house is now ready for contractor to skim and make all new again. It was after midnight before I finally fell asleep, mental notes, must call DH's sisters, return call to hospital employee DD#2 who wants to hop a flight and oversee dad in ICU. argghhhhh, these are the calls I dread. breath breath breath.
DS and I wake up at same time. Look at each other, ugh, get ready for another day.
DS heads to hospital to be with his dad, my DH.
I head to high desert to take step dad to his pre-op appointments.
Step dad - "why are you here so early?" me...."your first appt is 10:45 a.m" him..."noooooo, it's 2 p.m I told you it's 2p.m." me...."do you see my date book? it says primary care physician Dr. M......10:45 a.m."....him..."I hate that doctor....lies nothing but lies...I'm not going....we will only go to 2p.m. appt with surgeon"....
Me, tell my inner self...contain your scream...or you'll drop dead and that will not help anyone.
We visit, he askes about my DH,,whom he loves like a son.
I receive multiple phone calls that I cannot answer, knowing it's family and friends about DH, I just can't repeat myself over and over.
Take step to surgeon appt, I like this guy,,,he's sharp....what a blessing. Surgeon askes,,,where's your chest x-ray, ekg, blood work...etc, I need that before you show up Thursday.
Step dad - "oh, I didn't know you needed that today, I don't have it"...doctor.."didn't you see your primary care doctor this morning"...
me? "ok NOW I WANT TO SCREAM"
So we spend rest of afternoon, running around Apple Valley, building after building, getting all these tests and paperwork done.
Step dad "I'm sorry, I didn't know...etc etc yada yada"...me to step dad..."really? I could be in ICU with DH listening to what Cardio Doc has to say instead of running around Apple Valley because you feel your primary lies to you. Never again.
I reach breaking point with temper, he knows it full well and gets very quiet in car. THANK YOU!
DS keeps me informed on DH, heart-rate coming down...still on slew of meds to control heart rate...doctor going to attempt weaning DH off of some meds to see what happens.
Lots of phone calls, still cannot answer phone, tons of people leaving voice mails.
Head home, drive through "fire" on side of fwy and now I smell like lovely smoke...ain't this grand?
DS calls, "mom, when are you coming down the hill?" conversation continues.
DS calls again, "mom, family is arriving in dads room, thought you should know" crap.
Send DS home to his home, thank him profusly for everything and just being there,,,he really stepped up.
Head to ICU unit where they are moving DH to a regular room, just outside ICU doors,,,they tell me
"we don't trust your DH yet to be any further from ICU doors, so we are putting him right here, next to us"
This is good? This is bad? This is good....right? no? arrgghhhhh.
DH looks at me, makes some statements as do I to him. The ability of him sitting up on the side of the bed is big.
They allow him to walk 10 steps back and forth. He's winded but able to do it.
Nutritionist scheduled, Cardio Doc will return, No exercise for a month, Heart not in normal sinus rhythm,,,might use paddles (ARGGHH), something else going on in chest wall. Lots of tests are negative - big relieve. Fluid surrounding heart - gone, for the most part.
DH makes a deeply personal promise to me as I move tubes, lines, monitors, over in his bed and crawl in beside him. He will never give up his Frosted Flakes but he will give up all the other crap he eats and get heart healthy.
hmmmm, do I tell him that DS already took all the items with salt and all the items with sugar that DH loves, out of the house? no? well, maybe not now.
Thank you, to the DF-ers that sent supportive PM's, friends and family and neighbors as well. He's not out of the woods by a long shot, but his heartrate is back down to the 80's -90's and not topping the 190's-200 range anymore.
A little sleep, and a call from DS,,,"mom, what happened, your not answerinng your phone and neither is dad..." I send DS a picture of me and his dad, in the hospital bed hugging....DS is relieved.
and warns me "DO NOT DO THAT DO ME AGAIN!" when did I become the child? and he the parent?
DH shares with me that he was very touched by the simple act that DS held his hand like he use to when he was little and he vowed to get better and live a healthier life.
I signed off for the evening with "you have to get better, who else is going to read all those road maps and drive route 66 to find the biggest ball of string?"....
You and DH are in my prayers.
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