I kick it old school and assume that if you are inviting children, the invitation envelope will read like this: Mr. and Mrs. ChaChaMama Miss Petite ChaCha If it just says "Mr. and Mrs.," then I was taught that is a polite way of signalling children are not invited. A very generous cousin of mine marrying a man with children from a previous marriage got a magician/balloon animal guy to entertain the kids during the cocktail hour and had a table where the kids were brought kid friendly food! Obviously that is pretty much never going to happen again, but WOW! (We had a heck of a time getting to that wedding due to horrible traffic, but it was an impressive affair.) *** There now seems to be an unstated rule that if guests are traveling more than X miles, they get invited to the rehearsal dinner. Here's my 2 cents: I don't want to go to the rehearsal dinner. That means I have to leave work a day early to get to the wedding. So you can save the money you would have spent on food/drink for me and my spouse for Friday night. Given that I am traveling more than X miles, however, I would love to take my child. This goes double if this is a FAMILY wedding and therefore all of the people I would normally leave her with (grandma and grandpa, aunt and uncle) are also flying to this wedding!!! (And the other side of the family lives in New Mexico and Washington state and are dealing with fairly serious health issues, so can't exactly ask those grandparents to pop over to enjoy a weekend with CCC.) I do get the high per person charge, thing, though...and it is a shame that more catering establishments don't offer a reduced price for young ones. CCC pretty much would eat stuff off the vegetable tray, the cheese tray, and dessert at a typical wedding if left to her own devices, and would drink water, orange juice, or lemonade if they have it...so yeah, she's not exactly going to get the bride and groom's money's worth. But it's a nice gesture to invite family.