I may say that I dance with my eyes close part time. I look around what's happening and immerse in the embrace, and the music. Looking around is like breathing while swimming.
I once gave a class exercise for guys to dance with their eyes shut and the followers to keep their eyes open. Leaders were supposed to think about being more aware of their partners movements. Followers were supposed to be aware of any hazards and resist those movements, thereby becoming a little more assertive in their movements. (We were in a spacious room). I'm not sure if anyone gained anything from the exercise. One lady closed her eyes and allowed the couple to dance into a wall.
I guess if the leaders were wearing contacts, they could just take one out and that would "soft focus" everything.
I don't like that none of the followers in my community seem to decline offers to dance. I'm very reluctant to ask the really good followers to dance for this reason.. If I invite someone to dance I want to know that it's perfectly possible that I'd be declined, not simply because she's tired, or her feet are sore, but because she feels that a dance with me would be uncomfortable for whatever reason. And of course actions speak more credibly than words - so I would like to see leaders who I know are uncomfortable (based on what I see, and what followers have repeatedly told me) being declined. That way, if I'm declined just as much, I'll at least know that I'm no better than them, whereas right now, I just have to guess and hope that my self-perception isn't wildly mis-calibrated.
I guess I don't understand why you'd ask someone to dance with the hope that you might be turned down. If you are looking for feedback on how you are doing, wouldn't a practica be a good place to solicit feedback?
I suppose I just like the idea of a tanda where both partners want to dance with the other. As opposed to one who does, and another who is merely tolerating (or suffering through) it because she prefers that, to declining the invitation.
I think he wants to dance with women who turn down other men, indicating they really want to dance with him. He doesn't personally want to get turned down. I.E. choosey women who choose him.
Can't argue with that. But I do want to get turned down by anyone who doesn't want to dance with me. I really don't want to provide an uncomfortable tanda to anyone. For this reason I err on the side of caution and seldom invite anyone I think is exceptionally good - I pre-emptively decline myself as it were.
hMM thats almost as bad as Darwin-Juarez syndrome: DARWIN:Juarez? I heard over the wire that you're interested. JUAREZ: I'm not interested. D:That's not what you told Blaster. J; Don't you get it? I want him interested in me. And he'll only be interested if he thinks I'm not. D:But you are interested? J:- Of course. D:- But not in me. J:No, no, no. Because you know you could have me which makes you not interested, and that means I wouldn't be interested in you even if I were.
I suppose you have shades of gray between exceptionally and just pretty good, at least I hope you do. I'm wondering, if a good partner turns you down, how long, if ever, before you would ask her again? There are really good partners who are happy to dance with lesser dancers, because they want to support the efforts of learners who are working hard to learn this dance. After all, someone supported their efforts when they were beginners. If they do accept to dance with you and you are not sure of your dancing, you might ask them for feedback after the tanda is over.
You mean no one has ever turned you down? If you've ever been turned down, then it seems your problem has already been solved. I second the idea that if you are concerned that followers are just suffering through it, ask them for feedback. If nothing else, your willingness to accept feedback will make them WANT to dance with you, so that will also solve the "problem".
If a women is sweet enough to dance with me, even though she doesn't think I'm really good enough, I'm up to the challenge of trying to give her a really good dance, and possibly changing her mind about me. I've certainly had a few tandas where in the beginning, the woman seemed to be more in "protect mode" or something, but half way through the first song, it was like she decided, "I guess he can dance", and then relaxed, changed the embrace and tried to give me a good dance as well. It doesn't always work this way, but if she's nice enough to take a chance on me, I'm going to make the best out of it.
there's a song about that isnt there? I'v had the same experience..from "oh dear I wonder what's going to happen" to "this is quite pleasant."
I would add breast implants and chewing gum. Breast implants makes me feel like dancing with a barbie.
I don't know how common this is in other areas, and maybe I mentioned this earlier somewhere, but one studio here will cut songs off about halfway thru making it only half a dance. Find this quite annoying. While I don't do AT this is at the Friday ballroom dance.
