Backleading.

Medira said:
Oooh! One drill that I was given closer to the beginning of my dance time really helped me to get the feel of just giving over and following...but it was also kinda fun. It's something your husband would probably get a kick out of helping you with...

Get a hula hoop and hold it under your arms so that the back of the hoop rests across your shoulder blades. Have your husband/partner/instructor hold the end of the hula hoop that's sticking out in front of you. Rest your arms on the hoop so that your right arm is as close to dance hold as you can get and still maintain your connection with the hoop. Rest your left hand comfortably on the hoop as well. Close your eyes, relax and let your husband/partner/instructor lead you around the room or the backyard or wherever it is that you try this. Dont worry about any sort of footwork or steps, just walk normally. As it becomes more comfortable, picture how you can transfer that feeling to your dancing.
Okay, now that's cool. And as much as my husband says he won't go to lessons with me, he's always been very supportive, and might be willing to help me in this way. I'll need to start a new thread... how to convince your SO/husband/wife to join you dancing. Thanks - I'll give this a shot, too.
 
rhythm mouse said:
Medira said:
Oooh! One drill that I was given closer to the beginning of my dance time really helped me to get the feel of just giving over and following...but it was also kinda fun. It's something your husband would probably get a kick out of helping you with...

Get a hula hoop and hold it under your arms so that the back of the hoop rests across your shoulder blades. Have your husband/partner/instructor hold the end of the hula hoop that's sticking out in front of you. Rest your arms on the hoop so that your right arm is as close to dance hold as you can get and still maintain your connection with the hoop. Rest your left hand comfortably on the hoop as well. Close your eyes, relax and let your husband/partner/instructor lead you around the room or the backyard or wherever it is that you try this. Dont worry about any sort of footwork or steps, just walk normally. As it becomes more comfortable, picture how you can transfer that feeling to your dancing.
Okay, now that's cool. And as much as my husband says he won't go to lessons with me, he's always been very supportive, and might be willing to help me in this way. I'll need to start a new thread... how to convince your SO/husband/wife to join you dancing. Thanks - I'll give this a shot, too.
I think I came across a thread on that issue.
 
rhythm mouse said:
Medira said:
Oooh! One drill that I was given closer to the beginning of my dance time really helped me to get the feel of just giving over and following...but it was also kinda fun. It's something your husband would probably get a kick out of helping you with...

Get a hula hoop and hold it under your arms so that the back of the hoop rests across your shoulder blades. Have your husband/partner/instructor hold the end of the hula hoop that's sticking out in front of you. Rest your arms on the hoop so that your right arm is as close to dance hold as you can get and still maintain your connection with the hoop. Rest your left hand comfortably on the hoop as well. Close your eyes, relax and let your husband/partner/instructor lead you around the room or the backyard or wherever it is that you try this. Dont worry about any sort of footwork or steps, just walk normally. As it becomes more comfortable, picture how you can transfer that feeling to your dancing.
Okay, now that's cool. And as much as my husband says he won't go to lessons with me, he's always been very supportive, and might be willing to help me in this way. I'll need to start a new thread... how to convince your SO/husband/wife to join you dancing. Thanks - I'll give this a shot, too.
You're welcome! Be sure to let us know how it goes. :)

I agree with kdogg too, I think there is a thread about getting your SO to dance... I'd search for it, but I'm on my way out in a minute.
 
Okay, I'm back from my private (fox trot, samba) & group lesson (mambo), and I mentioned this concern I have with backleading to my instructor. He reassured me that another student of his has been at this 2 years, and is just now beginning to follow more consistently. I told him that was unacceptable for me, that I'd be working on it now.
I mentioned that I enjoyed dancing the other night, but this one lead was the "nudging" type (quote from tacad); the owner of the club had danced with me the week before also, and he was so strong, I had no opportunity to back lead. I'm a little intimidated by his strength (I wound up dancing a fast salsa with him, and did 4 spins, and a few deep dips - a bit breathless by the end, though fun).

Since my instructor is a strong lead, there was no need to loosen up my right arm; I did focus on the connection and maintaining a good frame, and it felt better. He was encouraging (but then he usually is).

When it came to the group practice (all 2 of us), I was paired with a lead I'd never met before, with about a year's experience - mostly in salsa. His frame wasn't so strong, nor were some of his leads, so I loosened my right arm a little, and waited for him to decide (talk). I think I've been worried that it will look like I don't know the steps, but I noticed my instructor (who was teaching group) gave a LOT more feedback to him about leading me better. A few times he said, "don't just leave her out there". All in all, I took heart. I have MILES to go, but this was all much better. THANKS for all your ideas and support - it gave me something to look forward to, rather than dread.
 
Okay, I've been through about 44 pages of forum topics searching for "getting your SO to learn dance" and the like, and I've come up short. If anyone can locate the topic on convincing your spouse/SO to take up dance along with you, I'd be very interested in reading what others have to say. I promised to be very patient with my dear husband without pressuring him to take lessons (who is a gem in every sense), but I would love for him to dance with me. I figure - he doesn't expect me to run marathons with him, so I can't expect him to follow my passion. I just think he'd find it more enjoyable than he currently believes.

If anyone can connect me with this past discussion, I'd appreciate it!
 

luh

Active Member
Medira said:
luh said:
a back-leading story:

yesterday night, my first class lesson after summer break. Andrew wanted to show me something, but i wasn't able to do it right away. so what he did, he got behind me, grabbed my back, and lead what i was supposed to lead. <-- this really is back-leading
luh
Hehehe! Cute, luh....very appropriate, but cute. :p :D
glad you like it
luh
 

luh

Active Member
rhythm mouse said:
Okay, I've been through about 44 pages of forum topics searching for "getting your SO to learn dance" and the like, and I've come up short. If anyone can locate the topic on convincing your spouse/SO to take up dance along with you, I'd be very interested in reading what others have to say. I promised to be very patient with my dear husband without pressuring him to take lessons (who is a gem in every sense), but I would love for him to dance with me. I figure - he doesn't expect me to run marathons with him, so I can't expect him to follow my passion. I just think he'd find it more enjoyable than he currently believes.

If anyone can connect me with this past discussion, I'd appreciate it!
take a look at the thread tacad posted!
luh
 
Well, THAT is a loaded board... I'll admit the word "force" hadn't entered my mind, and as such it wasn't in the search query. On the other hand, I found a few interesting ideas buried in there, that were more along the lines of what I need. Two good pointers there:

1. Let him know how enticing it is for HIM to be the dance partner (there's a lot more detail involved, but I got it), since he probably doesn't realize the sensuality involved, and

2. Don't try to be the teacher or the critic. Let him learn (if he gets as far as a class) from the pro, and simply be encouraging.

Enough said - I won't continue off-topic. It's amazing just how much ground this group covers in a relatively short period of time! Thanks!
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
the reason why he isn't interested would be helpful in trying to advise you...is it his self-confidence iis it a mere lack of interest?
 

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