funniest thing a coach has ever said about your dancing

#61
A coach who will remain nameless is know for his/her unfiltered comments which some of us dance masochists find funny:

"What the hell were you doing out there?"
"Well, the least bad thing was the Spin Turn."
"At least I could tell what dance you were trying to do."
 

GJB

Well-Known Member
#62
"I hate to bring up the 'P word' with men ..." P as in premature. I am sometimes a bit of an early riser in Waltz!
 

madmaximus

Well-Known Member
#63

"Now THAT just brings tears to my eyes".


And variations thereof--from at least 3 mentors now...usually after after observing me/us perform a massively underwhelming figure.






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delamusica

Active Member
#64
From a visiting coach who wanted me to keep my hips forward in paso:

"Imagine that I took this quarter, and put it up your @**. I want you to squeeze so hard that two dimes and a nickel come shooting out!"

Then when watching us dance, if our posture shifted, "Make me change, baby - Make me change!" (Shouted from across the room, naturally).
 
#66
Coach to my son, "You are dancing Rumba, not Karate! No karate chops, no horse stance, and don't handle your partner like an opponent that you would swing out and flip over!"
 
#69
When I was a newbie I distinctly remember getting "well, that would be fantastic if you weren't faking everything". At that point, it stung, but in retrospect it's great.

Another of our coaches' classics, in regards to a bolero move, "and this is where the girl shows the guy her frosting".
 

NURDRMS

Well-Known Member
#71
Last night, during a coaching session, I got, "It's all about your a$$, baby." Sigh - the part of my body I want noticed the least.
 
#72
My teacher loves to use analogies and once explained bolero with the "Big Gulp", the sodas you find at the gas station. He was explaining, "now your side step is the large size, the back rock step is the small, and the forward step is the medium."

The analogies definitely help though! :p
 

BM

New Member
#73
During a bolero class:

"You need to peak together."

"You're rising too early."

The coach is pretty good about staying behind a line with his comments, but, being a student and friendly with the rest of the class, I'll frequently take the baton and sprint beyond that line with it. ;)
 
#74
My husband has told me of many that have made me smile.

He was dancing a Samba with his partner to music for a coach, the coach went to the stereo and turned off the sound.
My husband and his partner immediately stopped dancing to see why, and the coach responded with "Oh you do hear the music, that's excellent. For a while there I couldn't tell".
 
#75
The more overzealous the comments, the more he found them amusing. One of his favorites....

After watching for a while a coach said "I think you need to take up shuffleboard. No actually chess would be better. Well actually anything that doesn't require physical coordination would be good".
 

Josh

Active Member
#76
Wow, I can't imagine ever saying something like that to even a pro--it's a little harsh don't you think? I mean, a coach's job is to get a result with a student, not to make them feel like crap... Pushing somebody is one thing, but telling them to take up chess? Jeez... ;-)
 
#77
A visiting coach once called my partner an alien...I can't recall exactly what led to this statement, but, needless to say, he didn't want to take from her again...
 

Peaches

Well-Known Member
#78
My husband has told me of many that have made me smile.

He was dancing a Samba with his partner to music for a coach, the coach went to the stereo and turned off the sound.
My husband and his partner immediately stopped dancing to see why, and the coach responded with "Oh you do hear the music, that's excellent. For a while there I couldn't tell".
The more overzealous the comments, the more he found them amusing. One of his favorites....

After watching for a while a coach said "I think you need to take up shuffleboard. No actually chess would be better. Well actually anything that doesn't require physical coordination would be good".
I'm glad your husband found those amusing. I would not have. IMO, those go beyond funny, useful comments and into the realm of just plain rude.

Making a comment about the technique/lack thereof is one thing, but to criticise the person is just uncalled for. I'd have found another teacher. But...hey...if your husband thinks it's fine, well...
 

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