Any man who would dance with a woman as though she is no more than one of my "tools" to be seen needs to be dropped on his head.
I don't have to read any of the feedback to tell you how I feel because this guy (not going to call him a partner because he isn't) has learned the abc's of partner dancing and should go back to freestyle.
Competitive and partner dancing is about a couple, a partner. Neither of the two's agenda should become more important than the other.
Small town or not, you should re-assess the relationship. Stop dancing, sit down with this guy, and set the ground rules. If he wants to leave hold the door open for him.
Wow, it's been a while since the OP. I wonder if they are still partners. This sounds like you two have different goals. Both are valid. He is entitled to have his own as are you. I'd say stop trying to change him and work on yourself (step it up) or get over it.