Life is Hard Thread

well not a lot to update about.... dad's having scan results next week to see if his two months on this trial drug (which he can't have now due to safety problems) have in anyway been successful... hoping next week brings some good news.
 
Hugs, FD. Small update, I took my dad in to the infusion center mid-snowstorm yesterday to see if two pints of blood would help and...not really. He's still really woozy and nauseated even though he should be rebounding from his last treatment by now. He goes back in on Thursday so hopefully he feels better by then.
 
I'm worried about a friend of mine that got dumped last night. She's had a lot of dark stuff happen to her in her life, and she's not handling the breakup well...
 

pygmalion

Well-Known Member
There have been some serious topics in the whining thread lately and I read that some DFers are no longer comfortable posting their trivial whines there, which was the initial intent of the thread.

So I thought I would start a new thread for people with more serious issues in their lives right now... and fellow DFers can support each other.

Much love to all of you! *hugs*

TC, would be appropriate to move some of those "serious whines" over here??

No offense, chica, but I'm not sure that relationship drama qualifies as a serious whine. People here are dealing with life and death. Even though getting dumped feels like dying, it isn't.

I really don't want to hurt your feelings, but I think it's a bit disrespectful for people who are dealing with the serious illness and possible death of a parent to have their issues mixed in with boy trouble. (I could be misunderstanding or underestimating your concern, I admit.)
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
I kind of see both sides of it, in that MCC is deeply worried for a friend who has had many bad things happen and we don't know what those things are ...but they could be very very bad...bad enough to worry that this particular thing could push her over an edge...and that is scarey...and not the equivalent of such whines as; my office mate is making popcorn and I hate the smell :)
 

wooh

Well-Known Member
Agree with fasc. And that's how I took it. There's a few "whines" in this thread that I feel are disrespectful, but chica's isn't one of them. :(
 
I'm not talking about "boy trouble." When I say dark, I mean DARK. Without getting into details, we're talking about a nasty divorce, family considering her worthless because she hasn't had kids yet--and likely can't, thanks to life-or-death health issues that could recur at any moment and caused by a cheating husband--abuse, and a miscarraige. And I'm sure I'm only scratching the surface here; the better I get to know her, the more difficult things I find out about.

I was on the phone with her for a long time earlier today, and it seems like this guy that she's in love with dumping her like yesterday's news (after playing around with her emotions for a while as well) is bringing up all of these issues from the past that I think she'd repressed instead of working through. I don't think she'd actually do anything rash, but a few things she said on the phone scared me a little. And I honestly don't know how to help. I don't consider that a "whine."
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
me neither and if you want to chat about it in private feel free to pm...hard to know what to advise you without knowing what she said and I wouldn't want you to have to get that specific about someone else's life....but my empathy...that can be scarey as a friend...usually comments are a desire for pain to stop...but specific methodology that is plausible should be taken seriously and inquired about as a general rule....my empathy...very frightening to have a friend in a truly fragile place...I once had a friend who would often make vague references to his mental illness to only staying alive because of this thing or that...it became quite a load to bear...even though, in hindsight, I now see that he didn't mean a word of it...at the time it was very worrisome
 

wooh

Well-Known Member
Hugs chica. Hope she's able to work through all of this with minimal drama. It's good she's got a good friend like you to help look out for her.
 
I'm not talking about "boy trouble." When I say dark, I mean DARK. Without getting into details, we're talking about a nasty divorce, family considering her worthless because she hasn't had kids yet--and likely can't, thanks to life-or-death health issues that could recur at any moment and caused by a cheating husband--abuse, and a miscarraige. And I'm sure I'm only scratching the surface here; the better I get to know her, the more difficult things I find out about.

I was on the phone with her for a long time earlier today, and it seems like this guy that she's in love with dumping her like yesterday's news (after playing around with her emotions for a while as well) is bringing up all of these issues from the past that I think she'd repressed instead of working through. I don't think she'd actually do anything rash, but a few things she said on the phone scared me a little. And I honestly don't know how to help. I don't consider that a "whine."
Sounds like she could use some professional help. Sometimes the best way to help is to steer someone to the resources they need. Be a friend, but don't try to be her therapist. That never ends well.
 
Sounds like she could use some professional help. Sometimes the best way to help is to steer someone to the resources they need. Be a friend, but don't try to be her therapist. That never ends well.
I plan on doing just that, actually (encouraging counseling). I know she was in therapy following the divorce, but I think she needs it again now.

I actually was able to get her to come out with our group tonight like we'd originally planned. When all of this went down last night she said she didn't want to go anywhere, just lay on the couch and wallow, but I talked her into coming, and I hope it helped to get her out of the house for a while. Our mutual friend was with us, and at one point while she was otherwise occupied I pulled him aside and told him I was worried about her. He said, "I know. I am too." So at least it's not just me that'll be going to bat for her.
 
Hugs, FD. Small update, I took my dad in to the infusion center mid-snowstorm yesterday to see if two pints of blood would help and...not really. He's still really woozy and nauseated even though he should be rebounding from his last treatment by now. He goes back in on Thursday so hopefully he feels better by then.
Wishing you and your dad well, katherinejh...
 

pygmalion

Well-Known Member
I plan on doing just that, actually (encouraging counseling). I know she was in therapy following the divorce, but I think she needs it again now.

I actually was able to get her to come out with our group tonight like we'd originally planned. When all of this went down last night she said she didn't want to go anywhere, just lay on the couch and wallow, but I talked her into coming, and I hope it helped to get her out of the house for a while. Our mutual friend was with us, and at one point while she was otherwise occupied I pulled him aside and told him I was worried about her. He said, "I know. I am too." So at least it's not just me that'll be going to bat for her.

From my own ugly experiences, I will say that you can only encourage. She has to choose. That's what makes it so hard. To some extent, all you can do is watch, even though you see your friend suffering.

*hug*

Speaking of which, I just found out a couple days ago that a friend I've known for fifteen years or so checked herself into a residential facility. She's had fibromyalgia and a host of other medical issues since before I met her. Her condition started deteriorating about a year ago so that now she can't work. So she started having suicidal thoughts. Thank God that, in a lucid moment, she asked her doctor for help.

It's hard, especially for her mother and her daughter. :-(
 

TinyDancer109

Well-Known Member
hope everyone and their loved ones are doing better. Hope your dad feels betetr Katherine, and i hope your friend is ok musicchica. So sorry to hear all the difficulties for everyone.

Dad was feeling a little bit under the weather last night but i think he is ok.

I got no sleep last night. Diamond had a rough night. Mom and I are thinking it might be time to say goodbye soon. I am feeling a lot of pressure right now because I don't want to do it while she still has pain-free time left, but I want to do it before she begins to suffer. I want to wait until the last minute of (relatively) quality time she has left so she can have as much love as possible up until that point. the problem is... how will i know?? will she give me a sign??
 

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