Matters of the heart


Well-Known Member
AzureDreamer said:
A couple of years my girlfriend at the time and I made a new year's resolution to only have chocolate when we were kissing each other... not allowed at any other time! We later broadened it so that we could have a piece during the day, but you had to call up the other person and, uh, well... conversations tended towards the naughty side. A box of chocolates was a statement... and chocolate sauce, not even going to go there!
Called my SO to leave a voice mail at work telling her she was yummier then chocolate.



Well-Known Member
hello said:
Love is when you love the person more than yourself. When you put his/her well-being before yours. I'm not talking codependent, desparate, destructive actions that debilitate your life, but selfless acts you don't even realize you are doing for another person. For me, love has happened when that person needed me the most. I know it's love because I want to protect this person from pain at any cost. ... Ok, and a little attractiveness helps:)
This can be a dangerous approach. Becareful.


Well-Known Member
SPratt74 said:
Yeah, this I agree with. My x and I fought at the end. And one of the things that I had mentioned was how well we knew each other. He knew where I would fail, and it was like he wanted me to fail at that point. I was deeply hurt. But to this day, I know exactly how he does things and what's really going on in his mind more than anyone else even though everyone thinks he's so great just cause he's a good actor and can fool people lol. But I know. And I know what his intentions are when he does things just like how he knows me. But that's when the trouble starts sometimes though. I think that if you know the other person to well, then you can play on their downside and use that against him like what he did with me even though I think that's wrong. But to me it's like this only happens when one person isn't really in love with the other like how he wasn't in love with me (even though he said so doesn't make it true).
Two observations:

1. It is beginning to seem as if the situation was very unhealthy.
2. It seems as if you are slowly working through the loss, which means you will eventually find a new beginning and then be ready for a healthier relationship.
Shooshoo said:
I agree with you Spratt74, I believe honesty is the best even if it hurts. It's easier to deal with the consquences. But this is one of the bad approaches many men use. They don't like confrontation.
Oh you are telling me! Men so do not like confrontations. It's sort of sad really, becasue they are the ones that end up getting hurt in the end for the most part of course you know depending on what the fight was about lol while us girls have gone on to better and bigger bodies and tushy's like Max from DWTS lol. ;) Ok, a girl can dream can't she lol??? :rolleyes:
DancePoet said:
Found another and was going to get married??? Wow.
Yeah, but maybe I wasn't ready for that like I thought I was. Either way, God put a stop to it for some reason. I just have to tell myself that something will happen again when the right time does hit! But why is it that when you are in that strong of a relationship, that you always think it's the right time, but you end up getting hurt?

You have the right idea. You maybe taking a risk when you tell someone how you feel, yet honesty really can be very important to the long term health of a relationship. If the other person can't accept the truth, then they are likely not going to make a super match for you. Just don't forget to analyze your feelings before spouting off too much. ;)
That's true. I did try to look at it that way, but honestly my thoughts didn't make much sense until you said them the right way for me lol. ;)

Take your time. Love yourself first, and in the way you want to be loved. You'll be ok. You have a strong positive attitude, and with a bit of confidence and believing in yourself, you can have much joy. :cool:
Thank you for the compliments! I guess it's like if I take my time, then I begin to wonder what's wrong with me lol. You know like why is it taking so long for someone to love me? And it's funny, because I'm such a strong person in a lot of areas, but not when it comes to love. It's like I become this vulnerable mushy person all the sudden, and I lose track of who I am, or maybe that's the real me. I don't know lol.
Called my SO to leave a voice mail at work telling her she was yummier then chocolate.
make sure to always lead off a phone call with a "This is a private message for..." just in case you were checking voice mail with the speaker phone on... it can be really bad if your SO has a chocolate attack. :rolleyes:
Shooshoo said:
This is one point I think of that many times it was maybe just attraction and being built in the mind, but then it goes 'poff'.
I guess that's a good reason to help one accept that if something does work out or the feeling is not mutual. Maybe the feeling was all an illusion.
Yeah, maybe our desires for something influence how we perceive reality which in a way, can distort reality.

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