Please Help! Dancing at Prom!


Well-Known Member
xander (and cornutt) - I don't mind the back to front position if it's done for a short while (for variation mostly)...

and cornutt....thanks for bailing me out! *grin*


Well-Known Member
No problem. Although I can't help but be somewhat amused by the whole concept of grinding... When I was in the seventh grade, I got kicked out of a dance for indecency. My sin? While we were sitting and catching our breath between dances, I put my arm around my date's shoulder. The rule was that, other than holding hands, no contact of any kind was allowed. :shock:
From the parties I have been to, grinding would be the single best type of dance to know how to do, because
a) nearly all songs can be grinded to in the kind of music that is usually played there, at prom as well
b) coming from my area, solo dancing is quite difficult to look good at doing considering those of us at the parties learn from other parties, but nobody can really solo dance for an extended dance period at this age
Now what happens usually is a few people will know how to do some moves, but not nearly enough to be able to dance to as much as an entire song from what i've noticed. This is where I figure grinding has it's advantage, I can dance for several songs in a row as long as my partner continues as well, because grinding is just that... grinding up against your partner. Now either front or back grinding depends on preferance, I honestly like front grinding more, because a lot more can be done to change things up, now if your not experienced at grinding I recommend back grinding. The reasons for this is, because front grinding can look better, it can also look worse if you dont have flo.
Now as I saw you were confused Xander, i'll explain front grinding to you. You have your feet kinda spread out, a little farther than your shoulders width, the girl you are grinding with has her leg in between yours, with yours in between hers like this.
x=guy x ...x
o=girl .x o x o
You are kind of leaned back with your knees bent, with your hands they can either hold hers with the hands in between both of you, or around her waist or lower back. At a prom i dont advise holding her butt. Front grinding can vary the distance you are apart, depending how close she wants to be.
Well, How'd prom go last night?
Let me tell you, first of all - most highschool guys arent good dancers, girl will be thrilled your willing to dance. Second of all - Maybe take hip hop and break danceing lessons this year, so you can show off at prom next year!
cornutt said:
{assumes Ben Stein voice} Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?

Seriously... Let me address your last point first: how to act. That's actually a darn good question, and I wish I'd had someone to advise me on it when I was your age. We have this quaint old concept of "gentleman" that we talk about around here. I'll tell you a couple of things about being a gentleman. Now I don't expect you to get this all at once; some of it has to come from experience. But let me see if I can give you a few tips.

1. A prom is (or at least it was, last I checked) supposed to be a fairly formal event. So dress sharp. And by that, I don't mean just rent some generic tux. Go down to the men's store and ask them for some help with what looks good on you. My experience with the personnel in the men's stores is that they get so mind-numbingly bored with the guys that come in and just want a tux because their momma told them to, that when a guy comes in and is actually interested in finding something that looks good on him, they fall all over themselves trying to help. A tux might not even be the best thing for you; a suit and tie might be better. (Unless the prom rule is that you must absolutely be in a tux.)

2. When you at the prom with your date, you want to be attentive and polite to her, but not subservient. I was your age once, and I know how it goes: you aren't sure how to act, and you tend to swing wildly between being clingy and stuck-up. You want to project an air of confidence, but not arrogance. Watch a John Wayne movie and you'll kind of get what I mean. Address your date by her first name (or whatever name she prefers to be called). I take it from your description that you haven't dated her before, so don't use pet names, at least not at first. Needless to say "ho" is right out. :rolleyes: Do all the stuff your mom taught you that ladies like: hold the door for her, pull out her chair for her, etc. Take her hand when helping her out of the car, and of course you'll touch when you dance. Otherwise, hands off until she gets a little comfortable with you, and even then limit your hands to the areas of her hands, back, shoulders, and waist. (Note that some women don't like having their face touched, particularly when in makeup. and don't touch her hair because it might injure you.) Absolutely no groping. When you want to dance with her, ask first; don't just drag her onto the floor, or walk up to her and start grinding on her. And try not to be impressed by the fact that she's particularly attractive or popular. You'll probably find that she actually gets tired of people fawning all over her, and is eager for the company of someone who actually wants to get to know her and isn't just wanting to ride her wagon.

3. She will no doubt want to talk to other people at times. So will you. Don't sweat it. You don't have to be together every second. If she wants to go talk to her friends for a bit, you can go talk to yours too. Do keep an eye on her, not to "keep her on a leash", but to see when she wants to join up with you again. (Being that she's popular, at some point during the night, she will doubtless get stuck talking to someone that she finds unbearably boring. Here you have a great chance to be a gallant savior and come "rescue" her, pointing out something that she absolutely must attend to immediately, even though it means unfortunately abandoning her absolutely fascinating conversation. No doubt she will apologize most graciously to the person she's talking to. ;) )

5. Leave your bleepety-bleep cell phone at home. Do not doubt me on this. Just do it.

6. In the art of being a good conversationalist, there is one very simple rule: Listen. Try to find topics that you would both have in common. (Family is always a good one). Remember, you're trying to get to actually know your date better. So some of the things that she talks about may seem silly or trivial to you, but they are important to her, or else she wouldn't bring them up. So if she says "I hate my mother sometimes", don't blow that off; say something to keep the conversation moving like "What's happening between you and your mother?" Believe me, your date will be grateful for someone who will listen and not judge her. And you will gain valuable insights into the fascinating world of mother-daughter issues. :shock:

7. Finally, just in case: Because teenage girls are not the most stable people in the world (neither are teenage boys, but we'll keep that to ourselves), it's possible that during the evening you will get dumped. If this happens, do not turn into a wallflower. You are there; you are a confident man and you can find other friends to talk to and other girls to dance with. Don't do out and dance with someone just to spite your date, but don't let her disapproval stop you either.

Oh yeah, we were going to talk about dancing. Well, first, consider that in your class, there are probably about six people that will know what they are doing on the dance floor. Everyone else is just making it up. But try this at home: Stand up straight, with your weight on your right foot. Bend your left knee forward. Notice how your left hip drops? Now straighten the knee, and then transfer your weight to the left foot. Bend the right knee, and the right hip wil drop. Straighten it, and transfer the weight back to the right foot. Repeat. When you get to where you can do it, try it to music. You've just learned a basic Latin motion, same as what the championship guys on Dancing With The Stars do. You can use that for grinding. Situate your date in front of you, with her offset to your right a bit, so that her right leg is in front of and between your legs. Don't do contact at the start; just take both of her hands in your hands. Just do the Latin motion and let her move her hips with you. If she's OK with it, after you've danced some, you can move to a contact position with your right hand on her back, and your left arm almost straight down and holding her right hand. In this position, you might even be able to do a salsa basic if you get a faster song. (P.S.: I know that some people grind with the woman's back to the man. You can do this a bit for variety, but I personally thinks this is lacking in the intimacy department.)

Now, you didn't say when this prom is, but I'm guessing it's soon. That being the case, you really don't have time to learn a lot for this prom. But your senior prom is still a year away. Why not start some dance lessons? If there's a college in your area, try checking to see if they have a ballroom, Latin, or salsa dancing program. Colleges often offer group lessons pretty cheap (like $5 per lesson), and it will probably be a crowd more your age. You'll meet lots of people, and dancing with a few more mature women will be good for your confidence and social graces.

Amazing guide! Props to you sir!
I might add, just read up on some grinding guides online, that's pretty much all that happens at highschool dances, even the formal ones. Good luck bro!

Dance Ads