Taking Ballroom to the Bedroom

Status
Not open for further replies.

pygmalion

Well-Known Member
#61
Even the ancient Greeks understood
the often-never-learned-lesson
that to love, one must be lovable;
to be lusted after, one must be lust-worthy;

and the universal irony of it all:
that looking like one who is in desperate search of either,
will seldom---if ever---find it.


Look to yourself---and not your dancing---and there you might find the answer you don't want to hear.






m


Insightful as always, max.
 
#63
Even the ancient Greeks understood
the often-never-learned-lesson
that to love, one must be lovable;
to be lusted after, one must be lust-worthy;

and the universal irony of it all:
that looking like one who is in desperate search of either,
will seldom---if ever---find it.


Look to yourself---and not your dancing---and there you might find the answer you don't want to hear.






m
How does one become "lovable," "lust worthy," and not look "like one who is in desperate search of either." Ah that is the task.
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#64
by not being desperate...by caring more for the other than oneself, with no ulterior motive...by knowing that one is sufficient on their own and not being needy....by walking in humilty, dignity and self-respect, none of which can simply be claimed...by being a giver instead of a taker.....
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#65
(that is my opinon, though I am making no claim as to my own lovability or lustability...based only what I see in those who I find attractive...and on the mistakes I have made)
 

danceronice

Well-Known Member
#66
"Not coming across as desperate" is pretty high on the list.

As is "not being out for casual sex and one-night stands." That's VERY unattractive to the majority of women.
 
#67
Honestly, this is the weirdest post I have ever come across here.

Why don't we think of the question the other way?

"Tell me. I wonder why the lady on the street is not jumping on me. I am a wall street banker making 7 figures salary. I have a mansion in Long Island. I usually drive my Ferriei Enzo to commute. I dress only from Giorgio Armani and have many golden diamond Rolex. I walk around Manhattan in class and know many friend in the high place. So tell me, why are the women knocking on my car door and putting off their clothes? Why isn't man with status and money translate to bedding?"

It reminds me a TV program in US called something like "will you marry a millionaire" many years ago.

Well, I am sure there are SOME women in the world are single mindedly lust after money. As much as SOME women are single mindedly lust after people with dance skill. You just have to find them in the right place. Those women do not necessarily be found in tea dance.
 

danceronice

Well-Known Member
#68
"Tell me. I wonder why the lady on the street is not jumping on me. I am a wall street banker making 7 figures salary. I have a mansion in Long Island. I usually drive my Ferriei Enzo to commute."
An Enzo? Hah. Call me when he as a Bentley Supersports or a Veyron. ;)

(Seriously, good point. It's not about the external trappings, be it dance or money. There are SOME women, certainly, who'll bed men for just that, but it's hardly the majority.)

Though going back to the comment about male pros having it made, setting aside that's not true, most male teachers do have another advantage besides dance ability when it comes to appearing appealing: They all tend to be masters of personal hygeine. I have known teachers who were smokers and dancing with them I COULDN'T TELL, they're that careful.
 

toothlesstiger

Well-Known Member
#69
I would have to add to that that a successful male dance teacher has to have good social skills, or they would not be successful. And the role has something to do with it. When I was teaching, I got hit on by ladies that probably wouldn't have given me the time of day, otherwise.
(To be clear, dating students is on my personal list of bad things for a teacher to do.)
 

Peaches

Well-Known Member
#70
"What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hmm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? You don't have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate."

Sorry...it's just what keeps coming to mind in this thread... :D
 

samina

Well-Known Member
#71
rbazsz, you're tongue in cheek, right?

as jane austen would say, "i am all astonishment". :tongue:

although i admit dancing & canoodling have their shared aspects, lordalmighty but someone's life drama would escalate exponentially if they started mixing the two. as some here on the forum well know. :cool:
 
#73
Though going back to the comment about male pros having it made, setting aside that's not true,
I find it surprising that several posters here deny the obvious truth that male dance pros have bountiful love lives. Isn't that one of the fringe benefits of being a male dance pro?

Surely it's not uncommon for male pros to be propositioned by female dancers.
 

Larinda McRaven

Site Moderator
Staff member
#74
1) You aren't a pro, so you cannot comment on the "obvious truth". You can share your "perceived truth" though. And those that ARE pros will tell you that your perception does not match OUR obvious reality.

2) Being propositioned because oneis a pro and can dance does not amount to "bountiful love lives", it amounts to feeling like a hired gigolo or feeling used. And often the aspect of being propositioned by students (which in reality is not THAT common) can lead to DESTRUCTION of a real love life, when overly aggressive pursuers don't respect the pros real love life that doesn't include said pursuer. In REALITY it often makes a pros love life more complicated and if not worse.

My ex was AGGRESSIVELY pursued by one student. And that was one of the worst eras in our relationship. His desire to smooth things over in order to keep a champ level student and my desire to kick the everloving crap out of her when ever she made obvious passes at him, even in front of me, made for some tumultuous times. In the end it was the pursuer that lost out, yet our relationship/lovelife was distrustful and tentative for quite some time.

Again, you have no idea what you are talking about. But it must be interesting to live in that head of yours... it is quite dramatic and fanciful in there.
 
#79
1) You aren't a pro, so you cannot comment on the "obvious truth". You can share your "perceived truth" though. And those that ARE pros will tell you that your perception does not match OUR obvious reality.
It might be interesting to hear from some male pros on this subject.

2) Being propositioned because oneis a pro and can dance does not amount to "bountiful love lives", it amounts to feeling like a hired gigolo or feeling used. And often the aspect of being propositioned by students (which in reality is not THAT common) can lead to DESTRUCTION of a real love life, when overly aggressive pursuers don't respect the pros real love life that doesn't include said pursuer. In REALITY it often makes a pros love life more complicated and if not worse.
I used the term "love life" because it sounds less crude than "sex life". Of course they are two different things, and that might have led to some misunderstandings about what I wrote. I am sure that the vast majority of males would agree that having a bountiful sex life is not a negative thing as you you portray.

My ex was AGGRESSIVELY pursued by one student. And that was one of the worst eras in our relationship. His desire to smooth things over in order to keep a champ level student and my desire to kick the everloving crap out of her when ever she made obvious passes at him, even in front of me, made for some tumultuous times. In the end it was the pursuer that lost out, yet our relationship/lovelife was distrustful and tentative for quite some time.
Hmmmmmm. That's an ugly scenario I haven't considered. I'm guessing since he is your "ex" the story didn't have a good ending. I'm sorry to hear that.

What you wrote shows that there is a serious downside to being pursued. I imagine it's difficult for male pros to have serious relationships because their partners are going to be suspicious all the time.

But, doesn't what you wrote tend to confirm my contention that female dancers pursue male pros for the purpose of sex?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Dance Ads