The Innocent Crush, another perspective

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
#21
And then some.

One piece of unsolicited advice PB. If you find ever yourself unhappy or upset more than happy around this person or your day is being made or destroyed by her words, actions, etc, close the door and walk away for whatever length of time it takes to regain your sanity and sense of self. Another door will open, hopefully one that is beneficial to you and the other person. And I speak not just from dance experiences.

FWIW.
yes...b/c it always starts out nice and inspiring...hopefully it will stay that way
 
#24
Dude, I feel for you and I have been down that path before. To put it succintly, you have to get out more to meet more people. You are giving this person way too much power over your emotions.
 

samina

Well-Known Member
#32
Anyway...honestly...I don't think that really has that much to do with the chemistry or projection at the source of a crush. Only that there are certain qualities of closeness that can fan those emotional flames.

If you're inclined to crush on someone, swing is good enuf to get the job done. ;)
 
#36
I loved your story, but I will take to heart what the other folks say here. You're as high as you can get right now, and the slightest mistep will be very costly.

I have successfully dealt with crushes like this the same way you're doing now, and you're right, it feels great and it does make you become a better person. One way to successfully avoid the crash is to think of this person as merely "imaginary". You won't be far from the truth: how much do you really know about the person? How much have you gotten to know her WITHOUT your rose-tinted sunglasses? As long as you know that "it ain't gonna happen", just soak up the dopamine, enjoy the natural "high", but don't be afraid to take off your shirt and show-off your chiselled abs to other girls. :)
 

Angel HI

Well-Known Member
#37
...from my own perspective I tried very hard to take the same path...dance for him...be the best person I can be for him...and you know what? the more I did that, the less there was of me.....

...trust me, I know how incredibly hard it can be...but, I fear, you must dance for YOU, and be a better man for you ...hug
Exactly the type/s of reason/s why I posted what I did. http://www.dance-forums.com/showpost.php?p=607788&postcount=8 It's a great story. I was glad that he shared it. Yet, I want for him, and the relationship, to remain healthy...emotionally and dancewise. Thanks for the other side, Fasc.
 

etp777

Active Member
#38
Very good advice in this thread, based on many years of unreqcuitted crushes on various women. :)

So bear it all in mind, give it serious consideration to decide what to do in long term and what is best for you, but until you make that decision, enjoy it. It is fun. :)
 

Angel HI

Well-Known Member
#39
Something else to consider, guys, P&B was very fulfilling in his decriptions of his feelings; not only for her, but pre-her, and w/o her as well. It seems that the term for the day is "crush", and this might be unfortunate.

Though, crushes are very real, they tend to psychologically note something not. P&B might have a crush, but, more importantly, he has found something/someone (one poster called a muse), that/who has come into his life and fulfilled some things (perhaps including, but other than a crush), and he has been able to very healthily understand and adopt these things into his new life.

Keep it up, dude. As long as you and she remain on the same page, you're golden. I like it.

Not to much to be done post Bolero or Tango syndrome, though. :)
 
#40
Something else to consider, guys, P&B was very fulfilling in his decriptions of his feelings; not only for her, but pre-her, and w/o her as well. It seems that the term for the day is "crush", and this might be unfortunate.

Though, crushes are very real, they tend to psychologically note something not. P&B might have a crush, but, more importantly, he has found something/someone (one poster called a muse), that/who has come into his life and fulfilled some things (perhaps including, but other than crushes), and he has been able to very healthily understand and adopt these things into his new life. I like it.

Angel, well said.

To those who would warn me of the dangers, I get and appreciate your point but I'm not a starry-eyed teenager. Not worried about crush turning into crash. The day will inevitably come when one of us moves on and we dance for the last time. I'll handle it and dance with someone else.
 

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