Underturning in Viennese Waltz

Josh

Active Member
#81
the rest of the workshop participants turned into a mob and joined her shouting all kinds of accusatory remarks at me, some laughing uncontrollably.
CC, you're allowing yourself to take on the role of victim, and you seem to be feeling quite sorry for yourself. When you begin to do that, it gets you down, and puts you in a very powerless frame of mind. Ultimately, IME, there is only one way out of this, and that is to take responsibility for what YOU caused. It may sound harsh, but please ask yourself:

  • Is it possible that I was just too physical, and it became very uncomfortable for the lady?
  • Is it possible that the lady wanted to talk to me about it, but I was unavailable to talk about it, from her perspective (emotionally disconnected, previous attempts went unanswered, etc)?
  • What was it that could possibly cause others to laugh uncontrollably?
  • Did I just perceive that the laughter was directed at me and that it was uncontrollable?
  • If it really was, and the "mob" was just a bunch of bullys, then what about my demeanor, posture, or overall 'look' gave them the idea that it was okay to do this?
Maybe she was a total *****, and you just had a class full of jerks. It's very possible. But even if that's so, what could YOU have done to proactively take responsibility for changing the situation, and could it have turned out differently?

Again, I'm not trying to blame. But sometimes when bad things happen, we put on our victim costume and start to feel sorry for ourselves. That doesn't help us, or anyone else. Powerful people understand that they shape their own experience, and victims feel that life happens to them.
 
#84
One key in my opinion is adjusting to the lady's movements. Let her move the way she moves and adjust your movement to make the dance work. When I dance smooth mixers the step distance of the ladies varies significantly. I try to adjust my movement so we can dance effectively, whether the lady takes small steps or nice long steps.

I think that is one of the reasons, numerous people said they can dance best with the teacher. Teachers are frequently very good at leading and adjusting to their partner. One teacher that frequently comes to dances, makes every lady look good and they all love dancing with him. He never pushes, pulls, but he gets the best out of each partner.
 
#85
One key in my opinion is adjusting to the lady's movements. Let her move the way she moves and adjust your movement to make the dance work. When I dance smooth mixers the step distance of the ladies varies significantly. I try to adjust my movement so we can dance effectively, whether the lady takes small steps or nice long steps.
This is exactly what Mr. D was telling us at the workshop. Let the woman lead. Man is merely a GPS busy recalculating the distance and direction depending on her move, good or bad. One renowned coach had already told us that the woman is not a follower but an equal participant, then Mr D was telling us that the woman is the leader (not even an equal participant) and man just let her do whatever she she wants to do. Do you see the pathetic trend? Soon, we the men will become nothing but slaves. Doesn't this worry you?
 
#90
Hey CC

First of all, IMO dancing should NEVER be something to get so frustrated as you obviously are about.

Please take my advise on this: If something doesn't work, getting frustrated will NEVER EVER make it easier.

Your (re)actions are understandable, but way out of bounds. For your own good, get your act together. Let that VW be for a couple of weeks and get back to it with fresh energy.



Take a chill-pill :D
 
#96
Interesting philosophical question:
Should I wish you are a good shot or a bad shot? Assuming, that is, I am within earshot, for want of a better word.... :cool:
I was thinking I'd rather do this instead of drag/pull woman I'm leading. Don't worry. I think I'm starting to chicken out. :)
 
#97
I understand your frustration but I wouldn't classify this as a female problem. I don't dance Intl VW with social partners for this reason. The more common problems that I have seen is that the person stepping forward (the aggressor) tries to step around their partner versus stepping straight forward or the couple isn't positioned correctly (they are not on there respective sides). I have also seen professionals do heel turns on their backward step so as to shorten the distance their partner needs to travel and help their partner make the full turn. You can also do American Style VW, if the music permits, since you can do open patterns and avoid the need to have you partner consistently do right and/or left turns.
 
BallandChange - welcome to DF! I find you're avatar familiar - did I see it on another site - maybe dancepartner.com? I think there are a lot of people here who are registered on both sites (FBOW - for better or worse!)

BAC said:
I have also seen professionals do heel turns on their backward step so as to shorten the distance their partner needs to travel and help their partner make the full turn.
I have not see that - wouldn't that be too short a stride - or do they do that somewhere special like going into a fleckerol (still can't spell that!)
 

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