Went on a date with someone from dance, I need some advice

meow

New Member
#87
Honestly, thats what I thought too. The breakup was not too long ago (I think I said the wrong date) -- It happend like around May 28 or 29. (Remember cause of my birthday)

Anyways about to leave see you all later will update again :)

Well everyone, Backstreet hasn't filled us in yet. I wonder if the old saying 'no news is good news' is applicable? For his sake, I hope he is :D.
 

Joe

Well-Known Member
#88
oh no! the song is probably rod stewart, but i had a much creepier image of michael bolton with his flowing locks and leather trousers... i think spec may actually be his love child...
You know, I've always wondered how a guy who was clearly balding could have such flowing locks...
 

samina

Well-Known Member
#97
that's nice.

i wonder what the differences are that commonly come up when the woman is older as compared to the more common older-male scenario.

anyway, whatever challenges i have in my own relationship are not age-related at all... they'd be there no matter our ages.
 
#98
i wonder what the differences are that commonly come up when the woman is older as compared to the more common older-male scenario.
when the woman is older - its hard because its against cultural norms. it's not done often, and so women have to deal with bigger insecurities. the norm/stereotype is that men want younger women and go for physical attributes (or at least, the physical side of the 'desirability' is a 'must-have', besides other things). so when the man is much younger than the women, the insecurity/fear is that he will 'stray' away when age catches up with the woman while the man is yet to face the effects of age...

for those for whom children is important, the man will be forced to be a dad sooner than he might want to, because the woman might not be able to conceive easily beyond a certain age.

this is in addition to the other concerns that already exist with large age differences either way...

so what i'm curious to hear about are folks who are in a relationship with a large age difference, where the effects of aging are already apparent in one partner while the other is still in the 'youthful' mode - and how this is working out for you...
 

samina

Well-Known Member
#99
when the woman is older - its hard because its against cultural norms. it's not done often, and so women have to deal with bigger insecurities. the norm/stereotype is that men want younger women and go for physical attributes (or at least, the physical side of the 'desirability' is a 'must-have', besides other things). so when the man is much younger than the women, the insecurity/fear is that he will 'stray' away when age catches up with the woman while the man is yet to face the effects of age...
yes, i understand. of course, if you perceive her as wildly hot and she knows that, she's not gonna feel insecure and you're gonna strive to do everything possible to keep her... so the reverse of the above scenario would be true. :cool:

for those for whom children is important, the man will be forced to be a dad sooner than he might want to, because the woman might not be able to conceive easily beyond a certain age.
or the guy could want to be a dad sooner & the older woman not interested because she's BTDT...

fwiw, there is no moment where i feel less youthful than my BF, and in fact i often have more energy to spare than he does... lol
 
when the woman is older - its hard because its against cultural norms. it's not done often, and so women have to deal with bigger insecurities. the norm/stereotype is that men want younger women and go for physical attributes (or at least, the physical side of the 'desirability' is a 'must-have', besides other things). so when the man is much younger than the women, the insecurity/fear is that he will 'stray' away when age catches up with the woman while the man is yet to face the effects of age...
I think this is true - unless you really love. In my opinion, real 'love' is much rarer than people think. I'm not talking about falling in love - that is pretty common and people stay together who have fallen in love for whole lifetimes. But it is not real love and few experience this. Love really is fully committing. It asks no questions and expects nothing in return. You may know of two people who love - they do not argue, they are always looking out for each others needs and futures, they accept - even adore - each others foibles and mistakes. They are only truly happy in each other's company and they really do not need anyone elses. By the way, probably only those who love or have had love will really understand what I write.

Want a litmust test? In a relationship that is more than 5 years old (to dull the 'in love' start) ask yourself: what would happen if your partner was grossly incapacitated - I mean to the point of debilitation or loss of their mind? If your immediate sensation is deep sadness but a resolve to find a new partner and start again - you probably do not love. If, however, your reaction would be to care for that person as long as necessary regardless or 'I would die' then you probably do. A friend came up with a somewhat different test: what if your partner decided to change sex? Would you stay with them?

Thus, with that intro, the notion that an age difference would cause extra problems for two people that love is absurd and what it indicates to me is that you have not really been there.
 

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