What are the 5 top reasons that make a man ask a woman to dance? Beauty comes first?

ArbeeNYC

Active Member
What gets followers dances is if they look like they want to dance, and they know how. And i think that looking like they want and enjoy dancing is almost more important. A enthusiastic beginner can be a fun dance, a scowling professional going through the moves never is.

Gssh
There is much truth to this. It mirrors my own experience in many respects.
 
I remember many years ago when I was a beginner, an older, experienced lady approached me and after a short conversation asked me to dance. When I warned her about my lack of experience she replied "I hope you will remember me when you are a good dancer...".

There is not one Milonga, when she is present, that I don't dance with her at least one tanda.

Most ladies will not say that, but they know that dancing with a beginner may lead to having a long term dancing friend.
As a leader, some ladies thank me today for asking them to dance when they hardly knew what they were doing.
It works both ways, and kindness and generosity - even on the dancing floor - are what makes the world turn around.
Hi Reuven,
Yes I have same feeling. I remember in one practica last year a very beautiful and top skilled young woman in my club came to me and asked me to dance with her, and she knew that I was a beginner. To me this was a very generous and give me huge confidence to continue to learn. I think if I would become better I will definitely invite her...
 
I think if I would become better I will definitely invite her...
You have been taking group classes for two years, attending practicas, can afford some privates. Now grow up in tango and go to milongas. Look around if somewone wants to dance with you - and if not watch the ronda or chat a bit.
Stress will accompany you - I needed half a glass of wine in the beginning two years ago. :meh:

Just play the game - you'll never know how the dice rolls. I was new at a milonga last weekend, a little chat, first dance - the older lady quickly shifted me into open embrace. My fault, she had never seen me dancing. I did a immediate next choice, but I had to de-spin that woman a lot. My fault again. As I talked with a male acquaintance about that, he asked me to lead him. After that tanda in straight close apilado - given a significant lack of leaders around - I got some amazing dances that night... :)
 
You have been taking group classes for two years, attending practicas, can afford some privates. Now grow up in tango and go to milongas. Look around if somewone wants to dance with you - and if not watch the ronda or chat a bit.
Stress will accompany you - I needed half a glass of wine in the beginning two years ago. :meh:

Just play the game - you'll never know how the dice rolls. I was new at a milonga last weekend, a little chat, first dance - the older lady quickly shifted me into open embrace. My fault, she had never seen me dancing. I did a immediate next choice, but I had to de-spin that woman a lot. My fault again. As I talked with a male acquaintance about that, he asked me to lead him. After that tanda in straight close apilado - given a significant lack of leaders around - I got some amazing dances that night... :)
Hi,
I recently feel that dancing with old lady is more likely to have fun. Because most old ladies I met are polite and kind, and I do not have pressure dancing with them, also they are easily to forgive my fault. On the other hand, some young ladies seems picky and snobbish, not very kind to begingers and only want to dance with top skilled leader. Even they accept my invite they seems not focusing on the feeling of dancing. Maybe I am wrong.
 
Any young follower in this forum? Are you picky?
Hi,
I do not mean all young followers are picky, maybe only one or two there but I met them. And I think it is natural for a follower to choose the top skilled leader if she has that many choices, if I was her I will make the same choice, and I am not complaining.
 
The "Beauty comes first?" in title is suggestive. So let me question that a bit. :cool:

Is there any ethically ranking between "skill" and "beauty" as a selection criteria?
Both depend heavily on personal preconditions, for skill one can perform training, for beauty one can perform surgery.
Both can get lost, slowly or immediately at any time, by one bad step or other bad luck.
And material prosperity is helpful, anyway.

And what about age, about getting or being old?
If someone starts dancing in the beautiful age of 20+, than there is a long time to dance young...
 
Last edited:
Both depend heavily on personal preconditions, for skill one can perform training, for beauty one can perform surgery.

And what about age, about getting or being old?
If a follower wants to be successful, she should have an athletic body.
Check the bodies and especially legs of successful professional tango dancers. That's the result of athletic training.

A young girl has an athletic body naturally. An older lady has to exercise a lot.

Nice legs, aren't they?
 
A friendly look and smile are the starting point for a new friendship. This is important for me because all the ladies don't appreciate female leaders and i need to know who could think of dancing with me. Today I accept verbal invitations only from my nearest dance partners so the follower needs to know how to use cabeceo for a tanda.
Usually during the first 1/3 or so of a weekly milonga i am dancing with my regular partners so the new experiences happen more often towards the end of the night.
Other leaders - do you have this kind of 'structural guidelines' for new invitations at local weekly milongas?
 
...
Other leaders - do you have this kind of 'structural guidelines' for new invitations at local weekly milongas?
There are different customs and expectations from male leaders than female leaders, due to gender difference. But indeed, in the second part of each Milonga, things are more relaxed and people are more open to inviting and dancing with whoever is still around.
 
ladyleader said: ... Usually during the first 1/3 or so of a weekly milonga i am dancing with my regular partners so the new experiences happen more often towards the end of the night.
Other leaders - do you have this kind of 'structural guidelines' for new invitations at local weekly milongas?
In my area, those less experienced and visitors tend to come early, and if not asked much tend to leave early. I've found they need to be asked early in the night as there is a good chance there won't be a chance late in the night.

The other scenario is when a Tango event is held in parallel with other dances in other rooms at a dance studio. Ladies from the other dances will wander in but will leave pretty quickly if not asked right away.

The 3rd scenario is at a nonTango place like a park or a coffee shop. I'll see ladies watching, their body language screams "I'd really like to do that!" You'll get the biggest smile and thanks if you ask and dance with them (they don't know cabaceo). They won't wait long, though, maybe 1 to 3 songs.
 

Mladenac

Well-Known Member
If a follower wants to be successful, she should have an athletic body.
Check the bodies and especially legs of successful professional tango dancers. That's the result of athletic training.

A young girl has an athletic body naturally. An older lady has to exercise a lot.

Nice legs, aren't they?
Not athletic enough and Mariana is more successful
 
Maybe for some of you.
Most of us want to dance with women who want to dance with us, co-operate with us to make a dance, pay attention to the music, etc.

To any impressionable women who may be looking at this thread...
You do not have to be young, or slim, or athletic to be a desirable partner in the real world of the practica and the milonga.
This is true.
It's important to not convey the message to followers that they have to be hot, young and slim in order to get a dance.
From what I've seen though, the young pretty ones do naturally get a bit more attention. Even the old gents want to dance with the young pretty ones (probably much to the bemusement and head shaking of older females)... Anyway. It's not as pronounced as it may seem, but practically speaking it does happen- just not to a big effect.
 
This Mariana is slim and athletic as well.

I just checked Facundo's friends: https://www.facebook.com/facundo.delacruz.169/friends
I had problems finding followers who are NOT slim and athletic.
And they are among the most desirable followers in the world.
For me, the most desirable follower is one that follows well, has a pleasant disposition and is upbeat. Normally it would be a more experienced follower who tends to be older...
 
I think there is some research about this subject on everyday life situations where the males actually did prefer a little bit voluminous woman at home but the status value of a skinny woman was higher.
This could indicate that the leaders preferring *dancing* do not mind the looks but the leaders who are interested to strengthen their position among other leaders choose the looks and the high hierarchy level followers.
 

Dance Ads