What are the 5 top reasons that make a man ask a woman to dance? Beauty comes first?

But there is one more aspect to consider that an encuentro organizer told me:
If followers are forced to find a leader to register - the quality and condition of that leaders might have not been their top critieria.
Organizers are testing different methods and at least La Colmena (dk) 2018 asks people to do singel signups. Only real life partners should do a couple signup.
 

newbie

Well-Known Member
Organizers are testing different methods and
My guess is they will enforce yet another rule where the invites will be issued by them and not by the dancers. Enforcing one more rule, that seems to be their thing. For a follower, being invited by a guy chosen by the organizer, in a place chosen by the organizer, on musics chosen by the organizer, using an abrazo chosen by the organizer, on a pace given by the dancefloor sheperd dogs appointed by the organizer, using only the steps within the range authorized by the organizer, Haha.

While beauty and skill might be my practical criterion sometimes when every other factor is equal, I think I may add a new pre-requisite from now on, a simple question:
"You've never attended an encuentro, have you?"
 
IMO the organizers don't have as free mind and hand to form the events as you think newbie. These events are quite over established and if you put your rules wrong nobody will turn up at the opening night. Not a desirable situation at all . . .
 
Back to the topic.

I hate milongas that don't have spaces where men and women can mingle.

If it has this kind of a female line of attack, it's very difficult to approach a woman. If one refuses, all of them will see it and they will refuse in solidarity.
Cabeseos, of course, don't work as the women don't look around or are very far away.
Essentially, they are waiting for a friend or a very courageous man.


The situation isn't better when women sit around tables.
 
Women usually appreciate that. It keeps unwanted "minglers" at bay. ;) Without restricting the possibility to interact with who they like, as there are plenty of space at the bar, etc.

The second picture, btw, is from Lo de Celia. How did you end up there, Vincenze? It is totally not your scene. The wast majority of women there are over 50, and with a BMI over 23. According to your convictions, they must be unable to dance any tango anyway. :)
 
I choose the events that I want to attend totally subjective - I only have to be able to afford that. :cool:
And I can understand if organizers want to do it the other way round - they only have to be able to afford that...
Either they can afford turning some people down or they cannot afford having them in their event. Or both. :)
 
Women usually appreciate that. It keeps unwanted "minglers" at bay. ;) Without restricting the possibility to interact with who they like, as there are plenty of space at the bar, etc.

The second picture, btw, is from Lo de Celia. How did you end up there, Vincenze? It is totally not your scene. The wast majority of women there are over 50, and with a BMI over 23. According to your convictions, they must be unable to dance any tango anyway. :)
If I see such a line, I will approach either an older lady if it's the beginning of the milonga (she will more likely accept my invitation) or the most charming and beautiful if it's the end (I have nothing to lose by then).


I usually check information on the Internet before going anywhere.
According to this video, Lo de Celia is really a boring place. Dancers hardly move around.

 
Lo de Celia then and Lo de Celia now are very different places.
Either way, no need for you to go to Buenos Aires. Ageism, fat shaming and accosting ladies are extremely unpopular there at any milonga.
 
Either way, no need for you to go to Buenos Aires. Ageism, fat shaming and accosting ladies are extremely unpopular there at any milonga.
What are the real benefits of going for a week or two to Buenos Aires?
Tickets from the USA to Argentina are $1,000 - you can fly to numerous places in the world for that price.

You can get classes with the best tango instructors, that's for sure.
Two weeks of classes seem like fun, but you'll forget almost everything quickly.
And the best teachers like Leandro Oliver always travel to Europe and the USA too.


I have slim chances of dancing with slim Latinas in Buenos Aires. I know that.
 
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Two weeks of classes seem like fun, but you'll forget almost everything quickly.
Speak for yourself. I still remember everything I learned there 10 years ago, and a month ago.
Perhaps because I use it every day. ;)
You chances of dancing there or everywhere with whoever you wish are hindered by your attitude, and nothing else.
 
Speak for yourself. I still remember everything I learned there 10 years ago, and a month ago.
Perhaps because I use it every day. ;)
When I learn something then I try to use it during the next week.
That's perfect for me with a traveling teacher.

I don't use everything that I know every day. Sometimes, I just want to use something simple and uncomplicated.

I know that many dancers from Lo de Celia won't like to dance with me. They may feel dizzy rotating in a simple moulinete. It's not their style.
 
A lot of things we know we are forced to use every day. Otherwise we won't be able to operate at all. Like moving ourselves from one point to another and talking, for example. We may want to "use something simple", but if we crawl instead of walking on two feet, or go to work and talk like a 2 year old there... good luck. :)

Same with tango. Most things we need to know and use all the time are basics, but the levels of expertise in those matters may be different.
 
I wouldn't go to Buenos Aires to learn the basics of tango. You can always learn them locally.

But if somebody has time and money, why wouldn't he or she?
 
I would like to address the questions raised by the original posting by Paula M.

Paula’s question made me think, how do I decide whom to ask - what are my criteria and to what extent is appearance a factor.

I am a man (leader) with many years of Tango experience. Twenty years ago my criteria may have been slightly different, but as I progress and gain experience I think I have a system, which I never thought about until now.

So what is it? Well appearance is important but not necessarily beauty and/or short skirt.
I value disposition and pleasantness most. You don’t know about it before you danced with someone, but you learn fast.
Being gracious follower is more important than experienced one - not that experience doesn’t count, but unpleasant follower is worst than all.

Size matters - a much taller or much shorter follower makes it more difficult to dance with. Also “big” or heavy is difficult to lead.

My favorite dance partners are not spring chicken and do not wear short skirts. But they have respect for the dance and would never get dressed in an over casual way. Of course musicality and good following do matter.
 
If it has this kind of a female line of attack, it's very difficult to approach a woman.
But is there a "line of attack" in this scene?!
If the ladies should "make it difficult to approach them", then I would name it a "line of defense", whatever their reasons and criteria might have been.
But most important: the men in the picture seem to be able to peacefully watch the dancers or their smartphone!
 

opendoor

Well-Known Member
When I learn something then I try to use it during the next week...
That´s impossible, Vincenze. Either it´s an illusion that you´ve learned something new and can use that element in the next week, or you haven´t actually learned something substantially new. I fear you only can remenber the element, which in fact only is an intellectual aspect. Body memory is stored physically, not intellectually. You can repeat something (cortex required) but you cannot carry it out properly (cerebellum required). Ten years ago I had to stop tangoing for three years. In the lessons before the accident, I struggled with my poor implementatin of a certain combination. Three years later I could perform that move without having trained it meanwhile. But that hardware connections had been established in the cerebellum in between.
I wouldn't go to Buenos Aires to learn the basics of tango. You can always learn them locally
Absolutely right. In BsAs you should search for closed ball room venues and last century architecture. You should browse the fleemarkets for rare shellacs. You should ask old portenas what their parents told them about the golden age. That´s what you can find in BsAs.
 

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