When does social dancing get easier?

#41
I've had a lot of trouble dancing before due to my social anxiety. For anyone else who suffers from SA, I'd recommend the therapy offered at the Social Anxiety Institute. It's helped me out a lot. I don't mind dancing in public anymore, even though I'm not the greatest.
 

opendoor

Well-Known Member
#43
...social dancing. I don't really like it...... been dancing for 2 years. The majority of it comes from private lessons... The anxiety that comes with it just doesn't make social dancing worth it to me.... does it get any easier?
Hi JL, the reason for this is the wrong order. You should have started with social dancing first. Then you would have been growing slowly into it. Now you have much too high expectations.
 
#44
dance only magnifies our problems...it doesn't really allow us to escape them...if you are not confident or comfortable in your own skin you will have to begin to start asking yourself how to do that first...b/c that is the only way to leave all of the inhibitions at the curb...IME part of being able to do that is simply to get a little tougher on yourself and get over it...not easy, but the only way I know
I may be lucky, but dancing somehow makes it much easier to get beyond my usual self-consciousness and shyness. It's never done that 100%, but I have definitely found that it eases my anxiety a lot.

I have also found that regular dancing has done wonders for my mood in the past. When I dance semi-regularly it feels like I begin to develop a secondary personality (but not in a clinical sense!) associated with dancing.

On the down side, since long-term health problems have prevented me from dancing regularly, I have lost much of the psychological ground I gained when doing so. But as long as I'm doing it, it's therapeutic. And even when I haven't danced for a while, I still am naturally braver and less self-conscious in a social dance environment. The music takes control, to some extent.

I remember that once I had been dancing regularly for a while, I even began to enjoy the excitement I felt on the taxi ride to the club, excitement that I would have experience as anxiety at the beginning, but which had at least partly become anticipation. It's the sort of change of re-framing recommended in some discussions of how to deal with anxiety, but in this case it just happened spontaneously, to my amazement.

And apologies that this doesn't really help the OP, since this clearly isn't their experience. (And maybe social salsa dancing, the only type I've had extensive experience with, has lower technical entry level requirements (unless you are starting out in certain New York or Caleño clubs, or scenes with high expectations) than some other styles; but it can also sometimes be a tough social environment.)
 

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