Also, how is it that my stress level is almost directly correlated to the amount of money in my bank account...
Like this weekend I've got tons of stuff to do...sewing, Japanese study, cleaning the room, etc. All was fine until I checked my bank account and BAM...$30 to last me through until Thursday night.
I swear I haven't spent this much money...but apparently I have. This sucks.
At least I've done my shopping/put petrol in my car already. I can make enough stew to eat until then, and just sort of...not go to Uni because my bus trip is about to run out.
It may be the weekend, but I've still have one more full week of my "mini-mester" computer class, which I have to complete to eventually graduate. Four hours of nothing but learning about computers Monday through Friday, ugh.
I know...but that has to get in line behind; mammogram, cholesterol bloodwork, appointment for why my ears are ringing, and basic hygiene ...not to mention weatherproofing the rotting deck, finishing shoveling cow crap so I can plant things and about 1000 other things that are going to be responsible for my next nervous breakdown
I would love that too...not because either job is a horrible job...I actually like outdoor work...but I just have too much other stuff on my plate now...dare I ask what you are doing now?...or are you simply referring to your regular job?
When the lab groups (support assistants and scientists) email me that I have done my job wrong as a financial tech student. And convince me that stuff are missing, until I double check when they leave and find out that I was right all along and they didn't read the stuff right. And then send me more confusing emails because they are going by the system that we show them and use to match the ledger and not the ledger itself because they don't even know that the ledger exists because no one has sat down with them to show them the steps.
My job would be easier if even a brief overview was given on how ALL the systems work together so miss signals don't happen! Hell I would do it myself... It would give me something to do when I have all this free time at work. But nope... The government likes to make things complicated... SHM.....
Pro and partner (both of whom I take lessons (pro) and classes (pro's partner) with) leave for Blackpool and a subsequent mini-holiday today. Happy for them, and cheering them on, but... this means nothing but solo practice for 2 weeks!!! I can already feel the onset of dance withdrawal...
but how wonderful to have that calibre of pro...still, I hear you...two weeks is my outside edge for no lesson most of the time...I have to be suffering severe burnout to want a longer break...have done five weeks...it wasn't pretty
Agreed, and I'm v. proud of them for chasing their dance goals. This is a purely selfish and completely irrational whine. Likely compounded by last night's odd lesson (I have brand new shoes, pro was breaking in his new shoes too, worked on three dances in the hour... just a bit rushed and 'off' all around).
And since it's been 13.5 hours since I left the studio, I shudder to think how the next 2 weeks will go! You know you're an addict when you're counting hours...
One of my professors still hasn't posted my grade, and my "final GPA" has been calculated. I know it's either an A or an A-, but he needs to put the grade on my transcript because that's the last class I need to officially get my degree! Arrrghhh!
You know what? I love my dance practise...I feel we achieve so much.
But when I say I need to go home, I need to go home. Because, while I love dance, my priorities right now are:
1) Not failing this class that I am currently failing. Which means roughly 4 hours of study tonight.
2) The dance comp on the weekend. This is lower than my Uni because I need to pass this course to get my degree!
3) Not having a complete breakdown from the stress of having a 2 hour exam happening at the same time 2x2500 word essays are due...because my lecturer just doesn't want to do it during the exam period.
4) Not running out of money because somehow that's still happening.
5) Not letting my relationship break down because I'm still a bit of a wreck, and it's putting a lot of pressure on BF when I'm crying all the time.
So when I say I'm going home, I'M GOING HOME! None of this "Oh, already? You were barely here". Well, you know what? I drive an hour each way to the studio. If I'm there for an hour, that's three hours out of my evening. So you can just shut up and leave me alone. I do what I can. I can't do any more.
Lio...you are a smart woman...so I am not going to treat you like a minor who needs my advice...but what I will say is : knowing you don't owe those people an explanation and believing it deep in your bones are two different things....you deserve to feel it in your bones...you have many important aspirations that you need to tend to in order for you to get where you want to be in life...no one at that studio is going to be putting food in your mouth or a roof over your head...they won't be paying your bills or achieving your lifelong aspirations...you don't owe them a thing....do the best you can at what you can in order of importance...people will have to deal with it...if they care about you, that should be enough...you are remarkable...you are doing a wonderful job...that is enough...if it isn't for some people...well then...ahem...I am too polite to say what I think you ought to wish them...hug...I hope things turn out well for you where it really counts