Whining Thread #2

fascination

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Staff member
first mouse of the season....grumble grumble...we live in the woods so they come in when it starts getting cold...and, while it is true that the cats generally take care of it...sometimes that is a bigger PITA than simply co-existing with them
 

Hedwaite

Well-Known Member
I'm surrounded by cornfields, so they check in and out year round. I know it's terribly inhumane and awful, and there's a place in hell reserved for me for this and for my wardrobe, but those horrible glue-traps are the only things they can't outsmart.

I'd ask The Cat to help, but she cannot be troubled, and I shall be damned for asking.
 

fascination

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Staff member
our boy cat actually means to play with them....but when they no longer wriggle, he is just as happy to eat them...and I would imagine that he feels just the same about me...I am not sure that what he does to those poor mice is any more humane than a glue trap, but, with the cat, I feel absolved from the issue....
 

dancelvr

Well-Known Member
I live on acreage out in a rural area. I have six indoor cats (who, as a group, probably haven't seen a mouse in their lives) and one feral outdoor kitty who is a master hunter. I've lived out here for almost 9 years, and have NEVER had a mouse in the house....ever. It's mouse heaven out here. Go figure.

Oh yeah...and when I had a very big name 'pest control' company come out to my place to take care of the carpenter ants (which they didn't really....I eventually took care of them myself)....ask them about the phone call they got when I found glue traps in my crawl space? Just ask. That manager's ears are probably still burning. They never dared do THAT again...ever....right up until the time I fired them. Gads...their philosophy was...KILL EVERYTHING...even though I'd never expressed a problem with any critter other than the carpenter ants. *sigh*
 

dancelvr

Well-Known Member
Call this a whine, or maybe it's just a rant.....but gosh darnit!....people who release domestic rabbits out into the wild to fend for themselves should be shot. I live in a rural area, and I can't count how many domestic rabbits I've had to, either comfort while they are dying from being hit by a car or, lift their dead carcasses off the road after they are killed. I came across another tonight who was quite young, but definitely domestic, and who was hanging out near the road I drive to get home from work. I'm going back to that area for the next three nights (I have off from work) and see if I can catch him/her. Some people just make me want to scream.....truly.
 

stash

Well-Known Member
first mouse of the season....grumble grumble...we live in the woods so they come in when it starts getting cold...and, while it is true that the cats generally take care of it...sometimes that is a bigger PITA than simply co-existing with them
Our problem is not mice coming in by their own means. It's my cat bringing in the mice, sometimes still alive, as presents...

Anywho my whine of the day is my parents threatening me to start paying rent because i stayed over at my friend's place instead of driving home while intoxicated.... Or at least that's the short story of it...
 

fascination

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Staff member
Our problem is not mice coming in by their own means. It's my cat bringing in the mice, sometimes still alive, as presents...

Anywho my whine of the day is my parents threatening me to start paying rent because i stayed over at my friend's place instead of driving home while intoxicated.... Or at least that's the short story of it...
...as a parent of a couple of twenty somethings, what I would say is that you might want to try to to appreciate their position......most 20 somethings want all of the freedom and none of the responsibility...it really sucks for parents because they basically get told that what you do is none of their business, but they are still putting up with you coming and going as you please with no idea of how it disrupts their lives, worries them, etc...and while still bankrolling much of your life...lots of kids don't want to be treated like babies but they also don't pull their own weight or take as much responsibility as they should...I don't know your particulars...but I do know that if an adult child is living at my house and I don't get called that they are not coming home...if they don't care that I will be concerned...they can move out or they can deal with needing to call me...I would imagine that their real point is that if you are treating them as merely building owners and not people who are concerned, you can start to be treated like their tenant...now, if you called them and told them you weren't coming home, that's different...and you may be a wonderful stellar daughter and I may have it all wrong (edit to add; and I applaud you for notdriving drunk) but I am simply offering a perspective from the other end...those in between years are a hard road to navigate.... for everyone
 
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stash

Well-Known Member
Fasc. I completely understand that point of view, but at the same time I had told them that I had been going out for my friends birthday like 3 or 4 times this week, and had sent my mom a text saying that I was staying over that night. She didn't see it because she was upgrading her phone to the OS and I had fallen asleep before I had realized that she didn't recieve a response. I did not want to call as my friend was asleep as were her roommates and my mom frequently checks her phone, so I had assumed she would have seen it. Apparently it was just all talk and my parents have retracted that statement. I understand it's their house their rules, but they (or at least my dad) doesn't understand it's my life concerning other aspects. There are lots of factors going into this that have come to a head. I rarely ask for money anymore (I can count on one finger in the last year). Maybe I am being an ungreatful child. IDK anymore edit: they are paying for school, which I am forever greatful for, so I guess that counts, but I could honestly get loans and such just like many other college kid if they want to play that angle.
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
let me first say that I don't use the term "my house, my rules" (that was Joe's)....and I hear your thinking on this and suspect that is was more of a combination of things coming to a head....I love my kids and they never mean to be ungrateful...I don't think they ever deliberately are...they just also have no idea yet what it is like to be ME...there is much to consider...you may not ask for money...but you do live there for free and while you could get loans, you can't imagine what a huge advantage you have in not being saddled down with the debt of student loans....your parents will always be worried...and the only way to create some distance on that is to live elsewhere...so I think you are probably going to have that burden to bear until you are graduated and moved on...

and it will get better

just as an illustration on behalf of parents everywhere...

from my perspective what really begins to add up with my kids when they are home is the following;

treating the common areas of our home like a dorm room...your socks, your drinking glasses, your books, arts and crafts, empty snack bags, etc....clean as you go...you'll "get around to it" doesn't work for me...particularly because we all know that you put off doing it b/c you know I can't stand it and will end up doing it myself....your room can be a pig sty...but only your room.....

you love to cook? learn to love doing the dishes

my grocery bill is two hundred dollars more a week when my kids are home, and my house is a mess, but they feel okay with making occasional observations about the marriage dynamic of their father and I, or about my food choices, or the color of lipstick I wear or about my fashion and home decorating decisions....

if they are tired or crabby or stressed, I am the dog that gets kicked....yet, if we have more people than cars my schedule has to be messed with (like getting up at 5am to take their dad to the train so that they can take one of our cars off on some joy ride to see a boyfriend or whatever)

if I mention the household chores I get lightheartedly blown off at best or defensiveness at worst...it only gets done if I do a full blown fit...for which I get treated like a meanie

if I see a need for a (one- time) mild question about their life and/or a gentle observation here or there as what I should responsibly do, I often get treated like one of those hyper-hovering types which is so "not" me

it gets old....and don't get me wrong...my kids and I are very close and can talk about anything... we all adore each other...I have wonderful, successful, mostly responsible, smart, mostly respectful kids who have never been much trouble at all..but it is still a PITA to have them home for more than a few weeks at a time....I know they feel the same

but I am sure they have no capacity to comprehend this from my perspective...only from the perspective of how annoying I am...

How about the fact that I might want to watch my stupid TV show on the big TV?...and I want to be able to get :cool:romantic with their father when and where I see fit...and I want to get up and have coffee in the room they fell asleep in last night...without putting on a bra...and they are perfectly capable of putting a new trash liner in the trash can...and for how many decades do I have to keep saying "it's a low flush toilet, stop using half a roll everytime you pee"?...do they care about that? ...no...because I am doing the plunging.....because letting them do the plunging would make me even more work.....my kids are good kids...they are delights...but they are not as delightful as they think they are all of the time...and they will not understand this until they have twentysomethings....please God let me live that long
 

stash

Well-Known Member
I agree with that statement, that I will be burdened with this until I graduate. It's times like these where I regret picking a college 15 minutes from my house, even though I did it for a very sane reason of dealing with my allergy, and not going to a school in another state. Thank you Fasc for your point of view. It does help to see another parent's perspective and not just hearing it from my own. I'm just so conflicted. Edit: I know you didn't say the your house youre rules thing, but I figured I could at least address it as well.
 
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fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
I hear you...that tension (IMV) is a good and natural thing...because your presence there is supposed to eventually change...and this "in between time" is necessary for that transition to be made in such a way that everyone will be ready for it (maybe more than ready for it)...and, while it may be stressful/not ideal for anyone, most folks are (deep down) glad to do it...and, speaking for myself, when I give my kid an opinion, it is rare and only because I would feel irresponsible for not mentioning something I may feel they don't have full perspective on...I may be wrong, but I still may feel a duty to mention it...because I love them and am not done parenting them just because they are mostly grown...as to burdens...every relationship has its costs...when children are young, the cost is mostly the parents'....as everyone ages, the ratio changes...just listen to the way some adult children speak to their elderly parents...love involves work :)...anyhow, didn't mean to be-labor your innocent whine...just wanted to share....
having recently been through a pretty concentrated round of that stuff
 
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Hedwaite

Well-Known Member
This cold is really beating me down, and I really wish I could have come home early to take some meds and go to sleep so that I could be ready to teach tomorrow, but I stayed out too late, wore myself out, and my throat is killing me again. Why? It made somebody else happy, and if I didn't do that, then I'd be the assbag of the evening. I wanted to get done with the class and head home so I could take meds, make my nerd rounds, and go to sleep, but alas.
 

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