Whining Thread #2

Hedwaite

Well-Known Member
The third one- I have an answer. I think it's so that they can take credit for starting a new trend, or make their own signature way of butchering the English language.

Aura: I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. I know it ruffles a few feathers, but I'm not trying to be a malicious jerkess when I say that what you're experiencing is something that I've found to be so typical of teachers/coaches/instructors within the ballroom "business". Being exposed to this and then people who turn around and say "You're not a high enough caliber if you don't act this way, and I therefore won't take lessons from you" makes me upset with teachers who try to act foremostly like hucksters, but moreso the enablers who let themselves be milked for all they're worth, because of the label they get to wear. No, they're not ALL that way- but the ones who leave a bad taste in your mouth do tend to be more memorable:-(
 

Hedwaite

Well-Known Member
So many things are running over me lately in my dance-bubble. It's the kind of stuff that makes me feel like I'm approaching that "Why, again, am I bothering to do this, if this is what happens?" point of Time to Take a Break. The partner thinks that if I take a break, that I'm being some kind of pansy. Maybe I am- I'm not going to disagree- but I know that if I don't, I hate him, I hate dancing, and I hate everything around it, and each time, it's a lot more difficult to put my shoes on, smile, and encourage other people to leave themselves vulnerable to the same situation if they take it beyond their group classes and private lessons. I was doing well for a little while. Things were looking up, I felt that rare sense of confidence and even control of my own dance-life. Hate this feeling. It passes- usually- but I'm impatient, and I want it gone now.
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
I wonder...you and your partner are very different people...so why would he feel entitled to label you a pansy (um...which really doesn't seem to jive with your personality anyhow)....I am wondering here, why you won't trust your own judgement on this...
 

Aura

Active Member
I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. I know it ruffles a few feathers, but I'm not trying to be a malicious jerkess when I say that what you're experiencing is something that I've found to be so typical of teachers/coaches/instructors within the ballroom "business". Being exposed to this and then people who turn around and say "You're not a high enough caliber if you don't act this way, and I therefore won't take lessons from you" makes me upset with teachers who try to act foremostly like hucksters, but moreso the enablers who let themselves be milked for all they're worth, because of the label they get to wear. No, they're not ALL that way- but the ones who leave a bad taste in your mouth do tend to be more memorable:-(

Yeah, I hear what you're saying. I know a crucial part of business in general is selling your product, but please understand that when I say "no", I didn't stutter. It's like if a telemarketer kept calling me after I hung up the first five times. And just to give more insight into the situation, my pro is not like one of those "You're not good enough if you don't do X", or "I won't take lessons with you if you don't do Y." Arrogant people are everywhere, and they're pretty easy to spot, not that you don't already know that. I think he's just relentlessly stubborn and rather impatient, much like me. Well, I'll out-muscle you on this one. And, I never told him I didn't want to take coaching lessons. Rather, it's "not yet".
 

stash

Well-Known Member
Considering the most current "whines" this may seem really trival, but here it goes. Why does every shoe that matches the criteria that my cousin has laid out for us bridesmades AND happen to be a design that I actually like not come in my size. Grumble grumble grumbe. Why are only the ugly shoes left is size 6? Good thing I have until June to find said perfect pair of shoes.
 

Hedwaite

Well-Known Member
Pansy in that whole "don't let it overload you" sense, I think. He can somehow internalize and deal with stuff much more easily than I can. I have to go She-Hulk for a minute until I run out of steam.

Once in awhile, I just need a small step-back so I can feel like I'm actually looking forward to starting again. He can keep on plowing through. That, to me, would be exhausting, and feel like it's just rolling me over flat.
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
some people compartmentalize better than others...that being said...you aren't him so it isn't fair to hold yourself to the standard of handling things as well as he does in the same way in which he handles them...I am confident that there are things you do splendidly, for which he has no aptitude
 

Hedwaite

Well-Known Member
Okay. LAST time for awhile, I promise:

Maybe I'm not a paying client or other person who has priority, but I am a person within someone's life to whom they made an obligation for which they're late. It's no more difficult to pick up the phone and tell me an ETA than it is to tell someone who cuts your checks, or with whom you regularly deal with in other ways otherwise. When you tell somebody you'll do something, actually do it, or stop wasting time. Also, the "If you need me, just call" implies that if I need you for something, on the occasion that I actually do call, you'll actually be there. If you're incapable of this, then please don't be surprised when I fail to respect you in other ways. If you can't make a simple commitment to something and hold up your end, then don't bother making it to start with. And do NOT have the stones to try to suggest that I take more initiative when helping you with YOUR projects that YOU can't do by yourself.

I might be obtuse, abrasive and ignorant, but I AM reliable and punctual, and if I know what needs to be done, I will do it without excuses or problems, if it is at all possible.

It's a nice day to dance, and I will go do that. I have nice things planned for the evening, and I will not let current crap bother me.
 

Hedwaite

Well-Known Member
My ability to focus and concentrate is crap tonight. I'm still having a little 'damned if you do, damned if you don't going on, but mostly over that. I have a semester-end party tomorrow though, and while that'll be fun, it'll be long and a lot of work. I'm glad I have something to do, though. When I don't, I get cranky and edgy. (er)
 

Hedwaite

Well-Known Member
People always assume that just because you don't have an SO or kids that you don't have the same financial problems they do. Surprise- there are things in a SINK-er's life that are just as important (and expensive) to them, and shouldn't be devalued because they don't have the same things going on.
 
Sometimes it seems like the only way you can get any recognition at all for the things you do for other people is by being a nag and telling them about it all of the time. If you don't do this, no one appreciates anything that you do for them and they just take it for granted; then they pick on your shortcomings in everything else. Frustrated.
 
Sometimes it seems like the only way you can get any recognition at all for the things you do for other people is by being a nag and telling them about it all of the time. If you don't do this, no one appreciates anything that you do for them and they just take it for granted; then they pick on your shortcomings in everything else. Frustrated.

very frustrating; sending you some appreciation; all the things you do are great :D
 

stash

Well-Known Member
Fear of rejection is making not send an email that could potentially help my future goals... UGH why must I take things so personal when it comes to my hopes and dreams.
 

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