yesterday's activities


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@J_Alex--YAY about the dress!!!
[Less yay about the mambo, the aforementioned bad news, and the UN-quality time with Ex, but let's focus on the positive.]

Up and get Child ready for school b/c that's what I do on Mondays. Realize it is Tuesday. (Child staying home from school on Monday confused me.)

Read some.
Oh, and tell Husband how I feel about him not doing that one little 5 min task...and he does it. But he doesn't get as good a rate b/c the rate expired the day before, which is why I had asked him to do it yesterday. At least he showed some investment in helping out.

Prepare to take cats to vet. Only succeed in getting one cat in the carrier. Going forward, I really think I need to take them in two separate carriers. Opening the carrier to try to stuff a second cat in turned into something of a comedy of errors, except one that involved me getting scratched and the escapee hiding.
Darius and I go to the vet. Darius has an anxiety attack of the first order and HOWLS like the world is coming to an end during the entire 7 minute drive. Open mouthed panting...he is a wreck.
Get his exam done.

Come home. Cleopatra hisses at Darius for the rest of the day. I'm not sure if he smells like vet or like anxiety, but she is not okay with him. (Still isn't today.)


Go to work. Library. Take out a couple books about King Lear. Start working up some teaching notes and ideas.

Go to pick up Child. Cannot find car key!!! Turns out I left it at the library circulation desk. Retrieve key, hustle to school.

Take Child to dance.
Lots of subs today b/c the company is getting ready for their first dance competition of the season and a lot of the main teachers are involved with getting them ready. (Also, one teacher just had hip surgery.)

One of the subs uses some language toward the kids I consider not terribly appropriate, repeatedly calling them "lazy," telling them they moved like "old people," and forcing them to do a near abusive amount of calisthenics (in ballet class).
This was Child's 3rd dance class of the day and normally her favorite, as she loves ballet. She shouldn't be near tears in the car.
I may say something to the director.

Home. Put Child to bed.

Put Self to bed not long after.


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Yesterday wake up SORE, tight muscles, ouchie ouchie,,,grrrr,,,is the word for the day.
Head out to lesson.
Can hardly move, Pro looks at me puzzled....I explain...he laughs...pushes me harder in smooth to STRETCH!
(note to self": seriously revolting the very idea to stretch into the smooth pattern with legs that shrunk after circuit training....where's my heating pad? lol)
Doctor appt.
Another Doctor appt. Cardiologist loves my current results for new baseline. This is good.
Daughter - sends video clip of her and grandkids doing Zumba in the living room, way fun.
Step-dad - call goes well until he says "I haven't seen you in two months" ok, couldn't take it anymore, I read to him from my calendar every day I've seen him or called him. THERE, TAKE THAT! and hang your hat on it!
DH buys me lunch, YES! offers to make dinner YES (this normally means, something simple that he cannot burn on stove or explode in microwave lol)
Search airline fares...slew of sales going on.
Fingers crossed I'm not this sore in the morning while getting threadmill again....hit 12,000 steps for the day! YES!
Very happy, until text from trainer,,,,"see you at 8 a.m." I know it's good for me, but really? burst my almost through the ouchie stage day with a text!~


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tues....breakfast, df, fb, channel surf, bank, lunch, lessons (wonderful)....all smooth and hobbled I had to switch to practice shoes...working gold QS home, dinner, teach spin, apply bengay, go take an advanced rumba class ...home, box-o, welcome dh back home properly :)...sleep like death until two at which time awake to screaming muscle pain ...pretty much everywhere...remain awake til 5...toss and turn til 7....teach interval at with home where, once pets have been fee, a serious nap will occur


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One of the subs uses some language toward the kids I consider not terribly appropriate, repeatedly calling them "lazy," telling them they moved like "old people," and forcing them to do a near abusive amount of calisthenics (in ballet class).
This was Child's 3rd dance class of the day and normally her favorite, as she loves ballet. She shouldn't be near tears in the car.
I may say something to the director.

It sounds like she/he may have been watching too much Dance Moms.


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@Pyg--Maybe! All I know is that this is NOT the typical ethos of the studio.
She also started the class by telling the kids to go get a drink of water and then come back in the room and pretend you love ballet. Child actually does love ballet. It's true that some kids only take ballet because you have to take 2 ballets a week to be on the performance team or in the company, but Child has not auditioned for either of those (yet) and takes 2.5 hrs. of ballet a week because it is her favorite dance style.

Took Child to school. Took a little time at home, then went to work.

10ish-11:30ish--Worked on King Lear lesson plans.

12ish-2:45ish--Read 2 articles on Mohsin Hamid's The Reluctant Fundamentalist, interlibrary loan requested 4 more articles on the subject. Worked on conference paper.

3--Picked up Child.

Answered a few work related e-mails.

4-5--Read to Child.

Dinner break, got Child ready for dance.

Took Child to dance. Tonight's ballet class was with the strict ballet master whom she really likes. Read while she was in class and watched a little at the end.

Talked to Mom on phone. Mom does not like my counter-suggestion for summer vacation. Ugh. Now I'm going to either feel guilty or pressured/annoyed. There is no middle ground.

Put Child to bed.

Some time on computer, put self to bed.


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sounds like someone who is trying to be some image of a teacher ....who needs to be reminded that people won't care how much you know if it seems like you don't care....I would gently take it up with her or her boss


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we have people at the gym who hide behind being badass to cover insecurity...what they don't realize is that if you are badass, you don't have to project it....and that it is a turn off if personal goodness and care for the experience of the student don't go along with it


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To be clear, the teacher who called the whole class "lazy" on Tuesday night is NOT the master teacher. She is like 19 or 20 year old young woman and is just a sub. She used to be in the company before she graduated high school. Then she went off and danced in a contemporary troupe for a season and now is back in MD doing a little teaching and not dancing professionally, I don't think.
The regular Tuesday night ballet teacher is REALLY good. She recently had surgery for a hip injury sustained while she was performing on a cruise ship, though, so she may be out for a few weeks. That is why I am concerned about whether this sub is going to be there for more than one time.

The master teacher on Wednesday night is this man, for whom I have enormous respect. He is strict, but has great rapport with the students and fully earns their respect:


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might as well do today now, as dh has a meeting this evening (town water board), and I sense some deep fatigue coming on....teach oldies class due to fellow employee having been unceremoniously fired .....spend several hours after that navigating the fallout ....anticipate that I will be doing that for weeks...have a long lunch (3 1/2 hours) with another member of the gym to discuss that as well as her husband's brain cancer....going to skip the group samba tonight as I think I just need to go to bed fairly early...


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gotcha....well...then back to the young gal...I have found that lots of them tend to adopt an authoritarian behavior to mask a sense of insecurity

Yes to this. I also think it takes a fair amount of maturity to teach from a place of self-confidence, secure in the knowledge of ones own ability, and with humility. I was a lot older than nineteen before I even started getting the hang of it. Which is not to say that I have it figured out. I'm just a lot better at it than I used to be.

In any case, name-calling from teachers to elementary aged kids is something that needs to be addressed, IMHO, especially if this sub is going to be there for more than one class.


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Nothing much new.

Just a conversation that profoundly touched me. One of the summer intern girlies that I work with is having a terribly difficult week. The younger brother of a friend/classmate of hers died last Friday after a very brief battle with cancer. I'm not sure where the cancer started, but it metastatized (sp?) and ended up in his brain. He died last week at age nineteen. Oh! Even though I didn't know the boy, I feel it on a visceral level. It's a gut punch, just thinking of someone that young taken away. *sniff*

She cried all day yesterday and was fine today, until somebody texted her a picture of the balloon release they did in his honor today. Hundreds of balloons. Every one signed by somebody who loved him. Since she couldn't be there someone signed a balloon for her. This tore her into little tiny shreds again. (I'm going to add the balloon thingie to my memorial service plan. Seems like it would be very comforting.)

And of course it doesn't help that her boyfriend of three years is probably going to marry the girl he dumped her for. Plus she will graduate in May and has no idea whether/where/how she's going to get a job. (She's worked outside the home and mostly paid her own way since she was fourteen. Having a job is an important part of her identity.)

Anyway, so I started trying to cheer her up. I told her that life is full of extremes, when you're her age (almost 22,) and that, as things happen in life, you get, not used to it, but better able to cope. Then I told her about how, after I broke up from my HS/college sweetheart after EIGHT years, I thought I'd never find anyone that I could love quite the same. Ever. In my mind, he was the only one for me. So, since I believed I'd never have another man, I set out to adopt a child. And I almost did. But she died of SIDS before the adoption was final.

I was just trying to make my little friend feel better -- less alone, I guess. But something surprising happened. I wept for the girl I was then, in a way that I never allowed myself to at the time. It's really funny. When all that stuff happened (and there's more that I can't share online -- just as profoundly awful if not moreso, but too personal) I had to survive, first and foremost. And I had so many people, at the time, who either didn't know the whole story or who were invested in my "getting over it," that I never truly took my feelings out and looked at them. ETA: I should have said that I never took my feelings out and FELT them. Hard to describe.

Today, for the first time, I was able to step outside myself and see who I must have been then -- a terrified, eviscerated little girl, pretending that everything was okay until, eventually, it was. I know I'm going to sound crazy, but I felt like I was hugging that little girl and telling her it was going to be okay. That felt good. I've been needing that hug for a long time.

Then, in a truly cool way, my GF stopped crying and so did I. And we talked about love without reservation. (She thinks it only happens once. I think it only happens to courageous people -- if you're afraid maybe zero times, maybe an infinite number of times if you have guts.) We talked about how to know when to set limits with people we love. We talked about gratitude to the people who've hurt us.

In short, it was awesome. It never ceases to amaze me how much alike we can be, under the skin.

A very, very good day.


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Good for you Pyg, for offering that shoulder and experience to someone who has yet to travel down some of lifes paths.
Noticed I was not as sore from circuit training _ THANK GOODNESS.
Started clearning out food in fridge as we leave for Florida on Monday.
Head out to, get my new reading glasses since I don't use a computer much anymore and I find great delight in this.
Go to DSW and buy three new pairs of shoes, "jeep" sneaker type things for walking, I really hate wearing sneakers all day long. New sneakers for running,,,gotta catch up the CCMM on the threadmill thing, and Croc sandals for pool and beachwear, they are lovely...cushioned under the foot with no in-between the toe straps....where have you been all my life! see? it doesn't take much to get me excited.
Phone call from step-dad, deeply apologizes for the stupid things he said over and over "it's been 2 months since you visited me" what a bold face lie!
DH, laughs after I hang up accepting the "I'm so sorry" from step-dad. DH notes out loud "you took no prisoners on that one at all, you pegged him after the first I'm sorry sentence" and he chuckles as he goes to the gym.
Continue to look into the Barstow, Ca home for veterans on Step-dad's behalf.
do a semi-workout at home since it's freezing cold and raining
Put together tax paperwork,,,ughhhhhhh.....although I think this may be a good year per se. lol


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8:30--Attempt #2 to take the cat I did not succeed in taking to the vet on Tuesday to vet. Success!

Put away Child's laundry.
Drive to Towson.

12--Double Nik lesson. Topics include:
-Samba bounce when stepping on straight leg (e.g., promenade runs).
-Creating tension/stopping points internally even when you aren't maxing things out.
-Making more use of "ands."
-Creating more interesting timing--and more light and shade--in rumba.

2:30--Grocery store.

6 miles on treadmill. Shower.

We make cookies for Child's literary tea on Friday.


8:20--Drop Child, her cookies, and her viola at school.

Finish reading Tan Twan Eng's The Garden of Evening Mists. Terrific book.
Started Mark Danielewski's House of Leaves. One of my senior seminar students this spring plans to write on this book and I want to get up to speed.

Did some straightening up and dealt with dog. We are having our basement finished, and the dog is generally okay with the workmen as long as they stay in the basement. But one came up to use the bathroom and there was crazy barking. Ugh. We need to work on his manners.

1:30-2:45--Literary tea. Our chocolate chip and M&M cookies are a hit. :) We made them with the Valentine's Day colored M&Ms.
-->Can I laugh that my kid was super happy to get to set up for literary tea and volunteered to wash dishes afterwards? Why doesn't this translate to the home setting???

4:30--30 min lie down.

6:30--Movie night at Child's school. "Ice Age."
Child and I went without Husband because--even though he is doing somewhat better of late--he still isn't feeling 100% and says he doesn't feel up to it. (82 days after he first got sick.) [He did, however, manage to take my car to Jiffy Lube for me around lunchtime, which is one of the few major household errands he has run in months. I'm not a huge fan of the Jiffy Lube experience...because I suspect they upsell me and (if I'm honest) I'm too uninformed and uninterested to know what services I really need and what I don't need.]

Put Child to bed.

Looked for some old college photos for Husband to send in for his 25th reunion and we sorted through them.


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Friday: Lazy day. I had a long list of things I was supposed to do but hey. It was the summer interns' last day. Instead of doing actual work, I spent all morning and much of the afternoon schmoozing with them. Very fun. Sweet, sweet young girl from yesterday's conversation is doing much better.

We talk about DS and college. Her take? DS will choose go to a FL state school, where I fully prepaid his tuition years ago. (Thank goodness I signed him up before prepaid tuition plans everywhere went belly up.) "There's no way he'd ask you to pay out of pocket for another school, when his tuition at one of the very good schools in FL is already paid. Spend the money on grad school, P." We talk about her choice to occasionally eat ramen rather than ask her parents for financial help "for something trivial." Car repair help? Yes. I thoughtlessly overspent? No. We segue into why she's looking for a job instead of a grad school "I have two younger brothers. It wouldn't be fair to ask my parents to help with grad school." Then we move on to school/life balance. "If your friends ask you to drop everything and drive to Galveston to see the sunrise, go see the sunrise. College is the only time in your life that you're responsible only to yourself. Keep good grades (she has a 3.86,) but go to Galveston." Then she offers to host DS and me for a visit at her school ( a very good engineering school.) My admiration for this girl grows and grows.

Lots more talking.

Afternoon. Get my act together and do some actual work. More fun than I've had at work in a long time. Gotta think about what I found fun and incorporate more fun stuff into every day.

Interaction with coworker makes me think about boundary setting (not in a super stressful or life/career-threatening way, but still ...) Why are some people so predisposed to pushing the limits? *shakes head*

Not much else. Go get DS from BFF's house. So, so glad DS has good friends.

Home. Watch silly and not-so-silly political stuff online.

Make a "whatever we have in the cabinet because I'm not shopping" dinner for DS. I liked it; he considered it an epic fail, but he's going to have to deal with it. I suspect that anything other than Chinese food would have been an epic fail in his book, but too bad. DS and I have had A Serious Talk About Money. CAN we buy Chinese food when we want? Yes. SHOULD we buy Chinese food just because we want? I'm going to go with a no. thirty-five bucks to have dinner delivered is okay for a treat. I'm just not going to do it every time we're feeling lazy.

Zzz early.


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Hey, the highlight of my day is getting out the recycling, so you get the idea; not much going on
Oh, except for the trip to Sephora for a $30 bronzer, during which I spend $200 on other stuff; the local Sephora has a ridiculously helpful and funny salesman, who wears more makeup daily than I do at a comp; he's charming, and I have discovered that my Gay Banter skilz have not rusted; he promises to teach me what to do with my eyes, soon; that should be one for the record books; I mean, let's face it: a ballroom dancer is a Sephora salesman's wet dream


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Lesson! And since we're in the runup to a competition, all kinds of crap happens
Inadvertently step into the middle of a personality conflict/business conflict maelstrom blowing through the studio; usually, I stay the hell out of studio politics, but this time, I was front and center; meh, it'll pass, life is change
Stop to see the ex, whose new TV has arrived; he bought himself a flat panel 50" thing, when the ancient console TV died; he's happy as he can be, which is not very
Home, lunch, surprise brief visit from DB#1!
Read a bit
Build a fire in the fireplace and un-decorate the tree, put the Xmas stuff away
Go dancing, with DB#4; you may all envy me, I was with Andre Gavriline for the evening! an opportunity totally wasted on me, as I don't do Latin (no, not "with" him, but he was charming to a new visitor to his studio social, and leads well); he is astonishingly good looking in person, far more than on video, and is dancing better now than he did as a competitor
Back to DB#4's house, wine, videos, talk talk talk
Up past midnight; who are you and what have you done with JA? apparently, if I have coffee at 6:30pm, even I can stay awake past 9


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dh sleeps like a baby no matter when he has my case, if I have coffee after 3, I had better be planning on staying up late

fri...continue to put fires out at the gym, teach bike and bench...make quick shopping trip to re=fill comp supplies and to get odds and ends to cook a nice dinner....nap...schedule some couples for marriage prep...provide our needy cat with appropriate amounts of love...spend a good deal of time cooking...when I cook, I cook like my mom did....for an army....dh ends up coming home late and sick...and I walk wide circles around him while trying to also pamper bed early as he is sick and I am tired....feel like old folks,,,next thing you know, we'll be eating dinner at 4

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