yesterday's activities


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Depressed, depresseder, depressedest. Maybe it's the uniformly grey sky; who knows.
Gyro, and it is good.
Quick visit to Blond German Friend, who is altering a gown for DB#1. Give advice.
Rolfer, which is *stellar*.
Depression survives gyro and rolfer; impressive.
Retail therapy; useless, plus I also don't actually buy anything frivolous, so what good is that?
Have coffee ~3pm; this will come back to bite me in the knat later.
Make plans with a friend to do Serious Retail Therapy tomorrow.
Home; cook.
Phone call from DB#4, who is even more depressed than I am; we meet at movies (Silver Lining Playbook) and then go for a glass of wine; DB#1 meets us @winebar. We vilify the men in our lives, or lack thereof, decide that dancing is the worst or best thing ever, depending on the level of wine in our glasses, eat a bit of cheese, and DB#4 feels much, much better by end of evening.
Home; depression, having survived the entire day, manages to keep on going and going and going; it's The Energizer Bunny of black moods. TDNWMH, especially since the coffee I had at 3pm is keeping me up; finally lie down and close my eyes and breathe deeply, hoping for sleep, some time after 1:45; far outside my comfort zone. Far. Waaaay far.


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m= teach step, eat, drive to indy, lessons, cannot eat, sleep
t=eat, bank, lessons, eat, drive home, teach spin, take a group class, home, snack, try to sleep, wine and bengay....and wednesday has come too soon with no promise for rest.....this is a punishing week


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jalex...I hope that grey cloud lifts for you soon...I felt it nipping at my heels yesterday as well and assumed it was either that it was the birthday of the child we lost or the weather, but my son called and he said he was having the blues as well....and he really thought the weather was part of it for him....good news is that at least he and I like each other again....I hope you do some fun spending today :)


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Because money failed to get from point A to point B in a timely manner, we've been in contract purgatory at work since Friday afternoon. Myself and a co-worker are holed up at headquarters, in the office of someone who is on vacation, and we can't do any work on the project. Worse, the company is only carrying us on overhead through Friday... if the problem isn't solved by then (which it won't be), we get furloughed at the end of the day on Friday.


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Make pot roast. Sort of; have no onions, so only half make pot roast
Go to supermarket to buy onions
Meet DB#1 at Lowe's to pick up storage shelving; I must get my belongings out of the extremely expensive storage unit, and to do that, I need shelving to hold my stuff in the basement here
DB#1 and I go through my ballroom music and make CDs for her
Time for Retail Therapy; meet a friend at a bar in a mall, we salute the new year in style *and* then shop; I feed my RT jones by buying a Ralph Lauren evening gown in a smashing red for maybe 1/4 of its original price, color me happy
Back to the bar for a celebratory glass of wine
Home; z before the wind starts; please tell me this is not the hurricane back, 'cos it sure sounds the same; odd, how much the hurricane affected me, it's months later, but I'm still fearful when I hear that wind
Because money failed to get from point A to point B in a timely manner, we've been in contract purgatory at work since Friday afternoon. Myself and a co-worker are holed up at headquarters, in the office of someone who is on vacation, and we can't do any work on the project. Worse, the company is only carrying us on overhead through Friday... if the problem isn't solved by then (which it won't be), we get furloughed at the end of the day on Friday.
I had to look up 'furloughed', that's a rough call. Similar here, my boss is in debt (mis-) management. ( largely involving hiding behind his secretary...)


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@cornutt--Fingers crossed for the best possible outcome so you can continue working and getting paid!

@jalex--Glad to see some "color me happy" in yesterday's report! We're waiting on photos of the evening gown! Is this what you will wear to Dance Legends?

8:20--Drop off Child.

9:10--ENG 1101. First day since there was a delayed start on Monday and this class was cancelled. Two of my fav advisees in the class, which is great. RED FLAG goes up immediately, though: one very high maintenance student. [Hear further scuttlebutt about said student later in day. My "people management" skills will definitely be needed.]

10:20--GREAT WORKS II. Discuss definition of tragedy. Begin discussion of "King Lear," with good discussion of why we admire Cordelia rather than thinking she's just political suicidal.

Lunch, prep. (New edition of book...which turns out to be almost identical to old edition.)

12:40--SENIOR SEMINAR. Philosophical questions about nature of literary study.

2:15--Office hours. Hoping to see my Troubled Advisee, but she is a no show. (Brilliant girl but has Issues.)
As I'm in my office, it is getting seriously ominous outside. I'm thinking "Please, please, please...don't let this storm drop until I've made it to my car." I need to stay in office until 2:45 in case advisee shows. At 2:35, the sky OPENS UP. It is near monsoon amounts of rain...except with little ice pellets mixed in. (The temp has been high, but is dropping.) I have THREE adorable umbrellas in my car, and when i was driving to work, I remember thinking "Make sure to take an umbrella up to the office with you!" But I didn't. Yuck. Put a hoodie sweatshirt hood over my head, which was better than nothing and soldiered out.

3--Picked up Child.
Briefly home, then right back to work.

4-5--Provost Candidate #2. I like this one!
I asked a question during the Q+A, and the current president of my college definitely liked the question and followed up on it. That made me happy.

Home. Dinner.
Take Child to dance in unbelievably bad weather conditions. At points during the drive, I was like "And now I can't see!" This is just RAIN, not snow...but it was coming down hard, and I'm driving on a country road which does not have street lights. But we make it in one piece.

7-8--Child does ballet. I read Will in the World. The part I read was focused on documentary evidence which has led scholars to conclude that Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway's marriage was not a happy one.

Stop by Vagina Monologues fundraiser at Coldstone on way home.

Put Child to bed.

Husband--who has been seeming somewhat healthier today--is now having some breathing distress. He goes back to the specialist today. The specialist's theory seems to be that the fundamental problem is that his nasal passages have a growth in them, so all the junk drains into his lungs, and that coupled with the asthma is why he isn't better. He finally asks me to get the codeine-based tussin and that seems to help and he is able to sleep.


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CCM asked:
@jalex--Glad to see some "color me happy" in yesterday's report! We're waiting on photos of the evening gown! Is this what you will wear to Dance Legends?
Hm. Not sure about Dance Legends this year. I may be out of town -- far, far far out of town. Taiwan. Visiting family. Then again, maybe not. There's many a slip, and all that. But I will wear it some time. Seriously, it's so Red. Must wear.
I read Will in the World. The part I read was focused on documentary evidence which has led scholars to conclude that Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway's marriage was not a happy one.
by coincidence I am reading The Secret Life of William Shakespeare by Jude Morgan, which is surprisingly good and subtle; in that in my humble opinion, she gives her characters a Shakespearean twist, gives them words observations, verbosity clumsiness, etc etc...

My own book Shakespeare and his Pact with the Devil is out soon ;)


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Get to work late--first I zoned out in the shower (missed usual train), and then got detoured by 20 minutes because a tree was down and blocking the road I take to get to the train station (missed next train). Was also frozen, because the weather dibbledoo on my phone failed me; 50 and very rainy my butt.

At work (with plenty of hot coffee in hand)--started off by discussing Current Issue with programmer. Because I'm a dork (ya know, from now on, I'm just abbreviating it to BIAD), I find the conversation fascinating. It's an interesting exercise in trying to a)figure out exactly what we'll need down the line, b)figure out the way to meet those needs while balancing the twin priorities of ease-of-doing now and ease-of-use later. We go back and forth, with lots of looking at the various related databases and the overall structure between them. Lots of process talk, which I like, BIAD.

Have The Talk with acting boss. I was nervous, but had spent the last several days seething; either I had to speak up and try and change the situation, or I would have been looking for either a transfer to another section or a new job entirely. I'm glad I spoke up. I stayed nice and calm and professional, thanked her for what she does for us as a coworker and a manager, gave her the benefit of the doubt regarding her intentions...and then politely described that while I realize she meant nothing by it, that I felt marginalized by [her action], that it felt like a vote of no confidence, and that I felt undermined. I pointed out my years of comptetence in this realm, and that Programmer and I have been handling this from Day 1 with no problems, and didn't feel I was inappropriate to expect to be in on the conversation. Segued to other project, which was threatening to go down the same rabbit hole, and explained that I was excited about the new project, and looking to make it something of a cornerstone in my resume for my next promotion opportunity, but that I needed not just to do it, but to be seen to do it.

Upshot: she apologized, saying she didn't realize she was coming off that way, that he had only intended to help, and promptly backed off. Agreed about Cornerstone Project, and backed off entirely on that (while still seeming to be happy about having her brain picked). We ended on a very good note.

Spent the rest of the day happily working away on Cornerstone Project. BIAD, it is ridiculously fun to me. It's budget stuff, and I'm looking to transform the process overall, but I'm also thinking of new ways to model it, and to incorporate more data. The rest of the day passes in a data modeling, process revision, spreadsheet-fueled haze of ridiculous happiness.

Train home canceled. Wait. Eat salad I didn't get to from lunch. Have brainwave about additional modeling possibility. Get home. Listen to DH vent--he is seriously unhappy, and I can't blame him. My hands are itching to get ahold of his company's data and databases; I've been wanting to play with their data for a while, and have repeatedly told DH that if they'll buy me the software I like I'd be happy to clean their data and do data mining for report building for them for free, just for the experience. Obviously, I haven't been taken up on the offer.



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@BTM--Cool! Sounds like Jude Morgan gives Shakespeare's marriage a more positive spin than Stephen Greenblatt does?

@J_Alex--Wow! Taiwan is definitely way out of town!

8ish--Printing out and assembling stuff for meeting over lunch.
9:30-10:30--Read Will in the World.
11--At work, getting ready for meeting.

11:30-1--Academic Planning Committee meeting. Better than I expected!
One minor negative, though: I was given a letter by an administrative officially stating my appointment as FYS Director and offering me a course release--for this semester. Well, clearly I can't take a course release THIS semester. I didn't have any idea I would have this job until early January, and it wasn't official until the first day of classes. I can't palm off a class that has already started on someone else. It isn't done. I was planning to take the release in the fall. So that's something that will need to be straightened out.

Deal with a few pressing work related e-mails.
Also receive e-mail that annoys the living daylights out of me, sent at 10:35 AM--VagMons rehearsal is being moved UP an hour, to start at 6:30, "please be on time" or e-mail if you can't. Seriously?! I have plans to go to Towson for my last pre-comp lesson. If you e-mailed me yesterday, I could have changed the time of that lesson. So I e-mailed and told them my situation.

Also get a more sobering e-mail from a dean: a student in one of my classes's brother was killed over the weekend. Wow. Kind of puts things in proportion.

1:40--Grocery store. Trying to do a 10 minute in-and-out trip to get produce. Someone with 20 items gets in front of me on the only 15 items or less lane, and I count every single item in my head as she puts it on the conveyer belt.

2:25--4.5 miles on treadmill. (Had been hoping to do 6, but no time.) Shower.

3:30--Leave for Towson. Last miles of drive suck and I am a little late, but luckily still beat my instructor there by about 2 mins.

4:45--Lessons. Run-throughs and last minute corrections. He starts giving me a larger-scale technique correction and then checks it, noting that this is not a change I'm going to be able to incorporate pre-comp and he doesn't want me obsessing about it. I appreciate this.

I say I have to leave at 6...though I will still in no way be on time.

7:15-9--At rehearsal...with one interruption at 8:30 to engage in an emergency advising session with an advisee.

Home. Eat din.

Husband coughing and having respiratory distress again. I convince him to take his med again. (Btw, the specialist decided a wait and see approach is appropriate, that it's too early for surgery. Husband's first words to me were "You are not going to be happy.")

Almost bought tickets to Dance Legends, but couldn't quite bite the bullet.
Stayed up later than I should have.


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w...teach interval, head out to run 1000 errands, teach abs teach interval again, bed as early as body will allow
th... teach blast, run 1000 more errands...see engaged clients in the evening, some of the best work I have ever done....feel remarkably blessed...bed early again
got up and some silly hour at bid on ebay for a snorkel scheaffer ; found out this morning I'd won and paid less than I was expecting to...went to get some black ink , and the shop stocked about 30 colours..didn't give in to there was a turquoise to die for..

Well done Peaches..sounds like you are working under a human being


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Lots of yesterdays into blur.
Announce to DH, heading to "dad's" for the week, DH stunned.
Head up the "hill" and it's blasting freakin cold in Victorville with a wind chill factor. SCREAM.
Get dad up and around with his new cadillac of walkers.
Groceries stocked into fridge "what are you doing he askes, we can buy food already made".
Response,,,,"nope, I love to cook and you can have no salt, HA!:
he resigns.
Work with Physical Therapy as he regains strength in legs.
Hear what happened.
Neighbor informs me also of what happened.
Take dad to multiple doctor apppointments,
Have "The Discussion" about moving...he accepts this much easier than I anticipated, although his home is
great for all the devices, much better than mine...he still should not be alone.
Order in-home services.
Contact the VA for the Aid and Dependence pension.
Watch him like a hawk as he informs me how to cook, bills, postal service, ahhhhh the brain thinks "there he is...mister pain in my neck...almost normal things start taking place after day three"
Day four, dear brother pops in on deadhead flight and totally surprises dad....This is good.
We all leave, he's much much better and stronger.
Still going to find a place for him closer to my home.
Spend evening at my house discussin plans with dear brother - regarding parent and move.
Take brother to airport at OH DARK THIRTY so he can catch a jump seat back to texas.
Deep deep needed.


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Up at 6am
Out of the door at 6:30am
Work from 7:30am to 3:15pm
Bank and then home early first time this. Chill for a while, cook red lentils with onions and spices. Stationary bike, and dinner of rice and lentils and steamed broccoli. Toffee for dessert. In bed by 10pm. Earliest all week!


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@Peaches--Bravo for asserting yourself and saying what you need to be the best worker you can be.

Dusting of snow when I woke up...but then it started to snow in earnest at 7:30 and apparently road conditions deteriorated rapidly. The local public schools had planned for an on-time start. Accidents were happening all over the place, including one involving a school bus and a snow plow (no one was hurt). So the buses round-tripped the kids home! Much local consternation on FB about this.
-->Child's Montessori school had a scheduled in-service day, so we weren't in the mix.

I have ~1.5 miles of back roads before I hit a major road on my drive to work, and I saw 9 cars which had slid off the road. And this is a newspaper photo of the last little bit of that drive just as it joins the major road. As you can see, a bus slid off the road earlier that morning:

Luckily, I arrived at work intact and in time to make it to my class. Better still, it stopped snowing by around 8:30, so I didn't have to clean snow off my car at work before driving home.

9:10--ENG 1101. Discussed titles, opening sentences, thesis statements, the importance of using evidence, and the reasons why one should not pad essays with irrelevant info.

10:20--GREAT WORKS. "King Lear."

Quick lunch.

College was sponsoring another flu clinic...and I hadn't gotten a shot yet, so I did it. (They recommend it for employees of colleges, much like they do at hospitals. Because you ARE going to come into contact with it. Hopefully it's not too late for me, as someone I was in a meeting with on Monday is now down for the count.)

12-1--Provost Candidate #3.

Debrief with a colleague.

Home for 5 mins, change clothes, back out.

2:30--Spray tan.

Did a little touch-up work on my dress for the comp and a little practice/review just to make sure my mind is in the game. My open paso routine is still quite new.

That night: "Raiders of the Lost Ark" for Family Fun Night on our new HDTV. (We still are awaiting our Ikea sofa and Pottery Barn Teen beanbag, and we have yet to even order a Palliser home theater chair, so we made a snuggle spot on the floor with blankets, pillows, etc.)

Oh! And I am so relieved. I do have an appt with Boyko for today pre-comp. Hooray! I was afraid he had forgotten me. I can do my own hair and make-up in a pinch, but it's much better if someone else does it. I think I'd say especially with the make-up: I cannot do the fake eyelashes by myself. That's just not a skill set that I have.
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Head out to circuit training with free weights.
Trainer gives me a warm big hug and "I'm so sorry for what your going through with your dad".
ahhhh, he's sweet.
Then trainer proceeds to work the crap out of my arms and abs with sets of 50 reps each. GOOD LORD!
I leave, thanking him - it really took my mind off of everything.
Home - make lunch - and realize my arms? don't even want to lift an orange right now. lol. ouchies....
Lunch with DH and he begins asking me about near future road brain is just not engaged at all.
poor him.
DD sends me pic of her girls trying on shoes at Kohl's and it's actually pretty funny. snicker.
Head out to dance lesson, Pro askes about skiing with me when friends arrive in March...hmmmmmm..
Pro makes my brain twist into petzel with new patterns for Silver Smooth. ARRGHHHH VW is killing me right now.
Head out to Best Buy with DH after lessons, purchase new flat screen TV (I'm overjoyed as this will create some walking space in our small living room) and a Dell laptop - after looking at everything, I'm not paying that much money for a Mac right now.
Laugh at DH - he's so excited about the purchases, and I'm thinkin' "yeah but I'm the one how has to figure it all out" lol.
Head to Red Robin's for dinner.
Homeward after - I collapse on sofa - what a week! brain disengages from everything and it's to bed earlier than normal.
Even DH is shocked. I ponder, as I walk down the hallway, hmmmm, how many calories does frantic brainwork burn up?
on that note, dive into my pillow, pull blanket up over me...and slow down!


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It's been a week since I checked in, so I probably should. Overall, it was a very cerebral week, which I suppose is good. Or maybe not.

Me: Stuck with the new exercise and eating plan. Have lost 12 pounds so far -- enough that there's a visible difference in the way things fit. If I weren't a slacker I would probably find my clothes that are a size smaller. But I am a slacker. Besides. I enjoy the reinforcement that comes from wearing baggy clothes.

Lots and lots of internal/mental/spiritual work. I took the day off from work ... Monday? and spent a lot of time thinking, plus doing some of The Work of Byron Katie, something I used to have serious resistance to because of someone I know who seems to think Katie is the Messiah. I don't think Katie is the Messiah. I think she's a very wise woman who deserves to be listened to. That's all. But, right now, that is enough.

When I went to work the next day, two female coworkers caught my attention because they were giggling. When I stopped what I was doing and caught their eyes, they admitted that they were talking about me, speculating about how I'd spent my weekend. *wink wink, nod nod* I wasn't sure how to react to this. Should I feel glad that my nascent spiritual inquiry shows on my face? Should I be offended that these two clearly assumed my "happiness" had to do with sex? (Seriously, girls. This isn't college anymore. Sex isn't always pure joy and, even if that were the cause of my lightness of spirit, I sure as hell wouldn't let it show on my face.) Should I feel offended that they would pry, however conspiratorially, into my personal life? Myeh. So I decided to assume the best and let them enjoy their girlish silliness. The world needs more girlish silliness.

Rest of the week: incremental progress toward Wild Freaking Huge Blue Sky Goals. Haven't felt this good in years.

DS: Cashier at Target happens to be in DS's biology and photojournalism classes. And she recognizes DS, and introduces herself to me, very politely. I can't resist pointing out to DS that 1) she is cute and 2) she has a job. Hmm. I also decide that I will get in her line, whenever she and I are both at Target at the same time. It's never too early to start working the grandchildren angle, especially when your kid is as clueless as mine. lol.

Work: The *giant* company I work for has implemented a new performance evaluation system that involves actual goal setting. So I set some stretch goals, discussed them with my well-meaning, clueless manager... then realize that my goals (from his perspective, probably) were more suited to his performance plan than mine. I had already started researching some stuff and gotten results on things that *I know* are on his goals list for the year. Deal with it, dude. I am a powerful, experienced woman. With a vision bigger than the end of my nose. A leader. And you, dear, are a manager and twenty years my junior. Are you really arrogant enough to think there's nothing I can teach you? And, while we're at it, your undervaluing someone's contribution is about you and your lack of appreciation, not about the person or the value of their contribution. (This is not about me, but about a black-balled coworker.) It's going to be an interesting year.

DS's father is in town this weekend. He planned the trip just so he could see DS. DS decides that he'll go out to dinner with his father on Friday, but come home after dinner. At this pronouncement, I have to push back. "Yeah. You're ambivalent about your Dad, but that's no excuse for narcissism. This man rearranged his life and spent hundreds of dollars to come see you for a weekend, and you're going to give him two hours at Mooyah Burger on Friday night? No. No. Just no. If you didn't want to see him, you had business to tell him a month ago not to buy the plane ticket. Done. You're going to stay with your Dad." It is so hard to navigate these waters. I respect DS's right to choose what kind of relationship he has with his father, but, at the end of the day, how DS treats other people is who DS will become. I hold DS accountable, no matter what anybody else does.

We're going to have an after the Super Bowl chip and dip party on Monday, and I have to almost physically restrain myself, to prevent me from doing the usual Party Perfection dance. Jarred dip CANNOT possibly equal P's Addictive Onion Dip and j_alex's Artichoke Napalm. But it's not my party. Besides the last GF in my posse will be leaving soon, so another party right now is probably overkill. I have to send her off in style within the next couple weeks. I just hope I make it through today without going to Target and buying cream cheese and mayo. Just sayin.

Other stuff I forgot. :)

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