yesterday's activities


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wed///teach interval, go to subway for lunch, spend sometime refusing to let some crazy people get any closer to my life....I am getting very good at this....take a kitties...pick up some kung po chicken without the rice....tell self it isn't that bad without the for grandbaby which erases the shadow of the pall the crazies tried to leave...also buy some currently reading ParkerPalmer...would like to stay on a with dh and a buddy...bed soon


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8:20--Drop off Child.

9:10--ENG 1101. Teach how to do MLA citations and Works Cited.

10:20--GWII. Descartes' Meditations.

Lunch/prep. Read a scholarly article.

12:40--Senior Sem. Feminist criticism. Everyone presents an article.

2:15--Office hours. Send some e-mails in my role as FYS director. Pledge $300 to the scholarship fund for Mid-Atlantic USA Dance.

3--Pick up Child. Look for new hip-hop shoes for her online. Semi-fail.

Read to Child.
Husband breaks in. His step-dad turns 80 in late April. Can we go out to Seattle for the birthday weekend? Well, let's see:
A) Late April-May and late November-December are the two busiest times in the college calendar,
B) My own birthday is the same weekend (mine is actually ON A SATURDAY this year, so on a non-work day),
C) There is a college ceremony I'm supposed to attend that weekend...though I'm tenured and generally good about these things, so I can get away with skipping.
I'll probably say YES. Husband and Child are going to go. I guess I'll go for the good in-law points.

Order super cool Edible Arrangements basket for the Vagina Monologues gala. (The Grand Berry Confetti Cupcake, with half the strawberries chocolate dipped, plus white and dark chocolate dipped bananas, plus the number 10 carved out of pineapple.)

7--Child to dance. I read Will in the World, the chapter about England's anti-semitism (kicked Jews out in 1290, a good two centuries before they were kicked out of Spain!), and therefore how most English people in Shakespeare's day would never have seen a real live Jew. And yet Marlowe wrote "The Jew of Malta" and Shakespeare "The Merchant of Venice." So what's the cultural resonance of Jews in Elizabethan England?

Put Child to bed.

Spend some time on-line, including answering several messages about the gala this weekend.

Home. Put Child to bed.


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Took the circus on the road to the vet so dogs could get their shots, #4 Cat could get his, and foster dog could have an outing. Foster dog is wonderfully behaved, except when popped on the exam table and the vet when to look at his head. THen it turned into an exercise in getting a body hold on him while the vet kept his hold on his head, so he wouldn't learn he could could throw a huge fit to get out of it. Vet also offered that if the rescue ever needs ortho work, or any vet work, he worked with one up north at his old practice and would love to help. Rescue owner was thrilled to hear it. Down side, my old dog (the coming-fourteen one) does indeed have cataracts. Came home, took everyone for walks in the relatively mild weather. Found out someone bought one of my Etsy items, prepped package (yay! I love when people buy the stuff I make, not just the antiques and estate items I resell.)

workout for one hr HIIT emphasizing legs and glutes
see 80 :)eek:) patients in two offices
eat dinner
practice two hrs with the mrs
finish Chris Kyles book ( RIP chris:(:(:( )
bed at 1130 up at five today to do it again!!!


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Gee CCMM, those are some kind of nasty-fall off the cliff dreams your having for a comp. wink.
Hope they get better.
Up at 4 a.m., see DH off to work and airport LAX, pick up DS from work - kiss and hugs, wave bye bye
Boys are bonding at NASCAR weekend in Charlotte, that in fact, when they landed informed me it is
a wonderful 35degrees outside of the Charlotte airport. ! HA!
As I bask in my 75 degree backyard,
visiting Nephew - shows me magazine cover that announces he is one of Cleveland's Best Single...blah blah blah.
Ok, so Mag Cover is great,,,as I look to photo...really? since when do you have black hair? As I note his brown blonde natural...'s a photo, etc., as he tries to talk me into....that
heated yoga session he is going to attend.
Nephew informs me, Yoga Studio is 109 degrees....will I come with him? NOPE not on your life, I love you, but no.
Saving grace phone call from GS#2 school, it's a late grandparents day, can I come right now.
I soooo agree, not only because I'm thrilled I'm invited - but it also gets me out of a "hot yoga" session with my loving Nephew.
Back home, Nephew comes in, from Yoga, all smiles, whips up some smoothies and omelets,
talk about family structure and ancestors.
He takes a "sun nap" for 15 minutes, gets ready for RaceWay at Irwindale to drive the race cars, he's stoked.
I get ready for circuit training.
I wish him well and lots of fun, he laughs at me as I am still sore from previous training session.
Arrive at gym, trainer is killing me....scream, as he mentions the first two months will be hard,,,to get me to where I was before. ok,,,as I can hardly breath, Note to self - maybe the Yoga thing would have been better!
Call from Nephew,,,,he loved his racing...loved it,,,moving onto friends in Santa Monica, will visit again on way back to Ohio...gotta love the road warriors.
House to myself, ahhhh, quiet,,,,,peace and quiet.
Msg from massage therapist....reminding me of appt....YES!!! perfect way to end the day.


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thurs...because it is almost over....up early, teach the oldies class, various meetings, feed animals, lunch with a dear friend, nap, clean house, receive continual messages about how delayed dh is going to be in returning from Boston....warm couch (TDNWMH)


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I'll join you because today is almost over and I
PLAN on sleeping in tomorrow. I hope.
Computer time - 4 hours today.
Watch, in horror, ex-LAPD sworn type on the rampage, listen to news, manhunt,,,,only to watch
more horror unfold from this....crazy B______.
Watch burned up truck of this now criminal - found not far from my home hill of Big Bear.
Listen and get notified of "lock down" and close all ski resorts order.
Cancel all lessons, facebook is now a GodSent - as the social media carries the word to
adaptive groups quickly.
All schools locked down as they search for this "person"
Experience a weird quiet ghost town day in Bear Mtn. Odd and Weird with a ton of snow predicted for
the next morning - tomorrow.
Call from DH and DS - about Charlotte and they are having a blast...then I tell them the "news"
Then the "your not teaching right? they actually CLOSED the entire ski resorts-no employees-no visitors?
all of them?"
Call from ex-co-workers down the hill...."they are closing the ski resorts,,,where are you?"
ahhhhh it's so nice to be thought of, and "yes, I know about the looney ex-sworn that might be up here, somewhere".
ok, decide plan B.
Stay in, computer time, paper time, reading time, a rather large jigsaw puzzle time....hmmmm.
And watch the news.
Text from Pro. well, much like the others. Respond to Pro.
Catch up with DD about her teaching position and note how much happier she is now, rather than working retail.
DS informs me, "the best day ever" as he got to go behind the scenes at Dale Earnhart racing and actually get to have one on one time with some of the crew that works on the cars.
I think he believes this is heaven,,,and on that note....I smile.
Head out to massage for the sorest of shoulder muscles. And it is soooo worth it.
Apparently, my evening will consist of doing nothing which is just fine by me.
A cup of tea, this nutzy puzzle and my gingersnap the sun sets in the west.


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Not much interesting going on lately.

I baked this past weekend. It was the first time I baked anything (cream puffs--both vanilla ones and dark chocolate mocha ones) in a very long time, and it was so enjoyable. Super Bowl party with the 'rents and brother and fam. Kind of funny, since no one in my family knows the first thing about football, nor do we care. But it's a good excuse to get together. It's pretty cool seeing my brother as a father. He's finally fallen in love with his little girl. (He didn't seem so keen at first, but I think that was a lot of being overwhelmed and tired and the fact that they had some issues with her at first--reflux, milk not coming in--which made for days and nights of pure screaming crying.)

It's taken two months but I finally have my attitude back in line following the disappointing non-promotion news. I think a lot of it is tied to the very candid conversation I had with my now-boss, which was very empowering and personally affirming. I also have a new project to work on and, even though it's driving me nuts, I'm loving it. Still vaguely want to throttle NPC (I've about had it with his forgetting to tell me key things about my projects. @$$.), but mostly I'm just ignoring him. I'm also hoping for a temporary assignment which would get me out of the section, and I'd get to dump about 70% of my current workload during it; he doesn't know it yet, but it's getting dumped right on him. Eff that.

Minor, strange, non-drama drama with other coworker who's allegedly going to be taking over another one of my projects. He's acting to me like he's going to be here, and able to take it over, and yada yada...and he's telling my now-boss that he's going to be leaving by the end of the summer. TDNWMH. I don't care what Little Stoner Boy does with himself (truth be told, I wouldn't miss him if he left), but I don't have the time to waste in training/mentoring him to take over a project...if he's just going to be gone at the end of the summer. Besides, I don't like him enough to want to spend that time with him anyhow.

Discovered the other night I don't like swordfish. Really don't like it. Plech! But DH is generally getting really good at pan-frying things (in lieu of grilling, cuz it's cold out). We've also started watching Netflix's House of Cards, and we're really enjoying it.

ETA: DH and I also had a very interesting discussion about high school curricula, and books, and the role of literature in introducing difficult topics. Apparently there's a woman in VA who is fighting to get Beloved removed from the high school AP English curriculum, because she feels the topics it contains are adult topics, in adult literature, and not suitable for high school children. This was all sparked, I guess, by the fact that her son found it disturbing. Personally, I'm dead set against this, for multiple reasons: AP English is opt-in, the syllabus was provided, parents have the right to opt their kid out of literature they don't approve of, I feel that a senior in high school is ready to tackle adult themes and adult literature, it's an AP class (which is supposed to be the equivalent of college), I think some literature SHOULD disturb the reader, and I feel that approaching such topics through the relative safety of discussing a book is an appropriate way of having difficult conversations. DH concedes most points, but also thinks that parents should be able to send their kid to school without them being upset by what they learn.

I'm just thinking back, and even my very-conservative parents never stood in the way of what I wanted to read. From romance novel, to All Quiet on the Western Front, to any number of intense books that I read...they never stopped me. It's such a strange concept to me. They'd have found a way to use the books as the gateway to a conversation. Huh. Anyhow, interesting conversation with DH. Made me think of some of you guys here on D-F.


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Lesson! Stellar!
Brief work chez Ex
Spend rest of day getting two closets sorted out; have a friend to help me with this, b/c I am hopeless when it comes to these things; friend gets all decorator-y on me after a while, and as she and I have COMPLETELY different taste, a minor power struggle ensues, but all is good
Consequences from personal crap, late into the night; I showered after 9pm to get closet dust off me, so could not get to sleep until after 1, and spent the time dealing with much emo fallout


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Phone call from DB#1; she has hurt her back so badly, she cannot move; I take her to get Storm Preparation Food, natural muscle relaxants and natural pain meds, and insist that she eat; she is a mess; massage her back, neck etc, to see if that helps; she is a *mess* and probably freaked b/c she has a competition coming and omg what if my back still hurts, etc.
Stop to see Ex and discover that he is not going to show this weekend as planned, b/c his driver crapped out on him; he gives me puppy eyes, but I do not offer to go; hey, I effing HATE driving in snow, I don't have to do it any more, so don't bother with the puppy eyes, buckaroo
More emotional fallout/consequences from personal crap, this time via phone, so there's some progress on that front
Sephora for eyebrow stencils, yes you heard that right; who knew such things exist?
Home; friends from my previous life come to visit on their way to the same show; it's good to discover that we still like each other, and we have a good time; however, I'd forgotten how Different they look from the people I know nowadays <digression alert> they are both hugely overweight, and so are many of the people in my former life; around here, I simply don't see that kind of body type much; my eyes have adjusted to the people around me, and seeing the old friends was a bit shocking, I'd forgotten they were so big; also, in context of the place I always saw them, they look perfectly normal, but in my kitchen and sitting room, not so much<end digression>
Check on DB#1, who is lying on the floor trying to relax; it's killing her to do nothing, she's an Energizer Bunny
To theater; great parking place, dreadful theater, slept through too much of it, alas, and this on opening night... oopsie
Home, Z


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Some cleaning, laundry, etc. in preparation for cleaning person. My one possible leisurely start morning interrupted by cleaning person coming at 9:30. Thanks for arranging that, Husband. <Eye roll.>

Very sad messages from NYC-based friends who are worried about travel down to MD for show. One says he has been crying on and off because he's afraid he's going to miss the gala/reunion/show and he has been looking forward to it for almost two years, since we first hatched the idea.

11:30--Faculty meeting.

1--Drive to Towson.

2--Nik lesson.

3:15--Drive home.

6-11-DRESS REHEARSAL for Vagina Monologues.

Home to Husband feeling very sick again...and now has fever. Not a super high fever, but definitely a fever; I think it was 100.9. Also says he feels a little confused. Not good. Ends night hugging me and shivering at midnight, and I am sympathetic but also desperately needing to sleep to be fresh enough to do the show Friday and Saturday. A ton of alumni are coming into town and I am the only person who knows everyone who will be there. This is not a good time for Husband to fall apart...and I can't afford to get this illness from him.


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ccm...I am thinking that your dh needs a thorough going over from a very high level medical facility...I just cannot see how he cannot have some other secondary issues when it has been this long....I mean, this really sounds scarey...having said that, I am also sympathetic to the fact that you probably have caregiver burnout by now....I really hope something changes soon


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I was really worried last night. I couldn't decide whether to insist on the ER or not..and I didn't get home until 11:15 PM, so this probably would have necessitated waking up CCC.

And it's not even just caregiver burnout. I am exhausted because I am trying to do too many things at once: teach full time (plus an overload course on Monday nights!), direct FYS, be a good mom, be a good wife to sick Husband, dance, be in a play. You're right that I shouldn't be thinking "I owe it to my cast not to miss the show" when obviously my responsibility to my husband comes first. My problem is I feel responsible to everyone. I know: welcome to being female.


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ccm: This is very worrisome to me, as well. The fact that your DH was confused really bothers me. (Not that I matter at all in this, mind you. It's about you -- the three of you.)

I'm going to ask a ridiculous question. Do you have anybody nearby who can help you -- with laundry or cooking or anything? It's a ridiculous question because I know you're a reasonable woman who knows how to ask for help. But if you're like so many dynamic women I know, it would never occur to you to lean on others if you "can" do it yourself. I think you might be surprised at how willing people can be to be leaned on (especially if it's short term lol) I say this only because it genuinely shocks me every time I'm forced to ask for help and my cup runneth over with friends and family who want to help. They find joy in helping. Do you really want to deprive your friends of the joy of community? (See how I did that? I pulled the Mom guilt trip on you without even being your Mom. :D )

It's okay to ask your Mom or Dad to come and stay for a few weeks (if their presence wouldn't exacerbate the problem by making you crazy.) It's okay to ask a friend to drop by Safeway for the eggs or cat food or whatever. And, while we're on the subject, it's okay if La Petite ChaCha gets less-than perfect mothering for a little while. Kids are resilient. Resourceful, too. I'd bet she could do more to help you if you let her. Look at how willingly she babysat her Dad on the way home from New York (?) last week. It might make her feel good about herself to pitch in and help in a crisis.

Please, please, please take care of yourself. You know that old cliche. First put on your oxygen mask, then help the person seated next to you. You can't help anybody if you're passed out. Or in this case, you may become less useful to your DH, CCC, your students, your beloved alumni, the cast of VagMon, the FYS program, your FB friends, Nik, your in-laws (who keep scheduling those pesky vacations lol,) ** if you're all worn out. Aside: Look at how long that list is, and I bet I'm not even scratching the surface.

Yes. I know that my fussing is of limited usefulness, but it's all I can give you to let you know that I truly care about you. If I was within driving distance of you, I'd be there. From here, all I can give you is moral support and a kick in the back side, when I think you need it. *ahem*


**The cleaning lady, even. What's the worst thing that would happen if there was a little clutter in her way, for once? She'd either help declutter (unlikely, if she's anything like the cleaning ladies I've had,) or she'd clean around it. Either way, for once, you wouldn't spend the morning of her visit running like crazy, rushing to get one more thing done. BTDT.


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the confusion to me,can be a sign that he isn't getting enough oxygen...that is a big problem...and I totally empathize that the rest of life has not slowed down to accomodate this illness...nuff...said just wishing you the best


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CCM, I'm relatively close to you. Most days I can't do anything, but I can lend a hand somehow on Fridays or Saturdays(although I'd have to switch off between you and friends/family with new babies). Grocery shopping, errand running...? Seriously. PM me.


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Wednesday, Thursday, Friday:

Momentous stuff that I'm not sure yet if I want to share online. Some good, some limbo.

Also going away picnic for the last standing member of my posse. A very emotional day. The food was a resounding success. I was informed that my "barbeque is barbeque worthy of Texas." This from a gun-totin, staunch Republican, lives-near-Southfork, dyed-in-the-wool, born-and-bred Texan who co-owns a BBQ catering business. And management repeatedly INSIST that I give them my receipts, so they can reimburse me for the cost of lunch. According to them, today's event was "beautiful." I guess I done good. :)

Also many, many, overwhelmingly many affirming praises from people I respect and care about. My parties, it seems, build community. I am, for once, at a loss for words. I am so thankful to be here right now. But I will miss my posse. So. Much. I know. I still know them all and we'll always be friends. But it will never be the same. I'll have another posse. But it will never be the same as this unique combination of beautiful women. I love my girls.

Also DS's father and I wrangle over DS's class selections for next year. Endlessly. I want DS to have a doable course load that he enjoys while he's challenged. The ex wants DS to have a course load that makes him attractive to universities. At the end of the day, I have to concede that the ex's strategy for next year (while deficient in many respects) is pretty good. DS in pre-AP English, AP World History and pre-AP chemistry, with Principles of Engineering as an elective. Sociology and psychology as electives. DS has been interested in civil engineering since he was about three. He's been insightful thinker forever. So this is probably a good time for him to be exposed to science, engineering, and psychology. But that's a tough course load for a kid with ADHD, for whom it takes twice as long to get everything done well. All the same courses without an AP attached might, IMO, be a better choice. The ex won't be the one up in the middle of the night, typing papers one page at a time, while DS writes the text and stresses out about trying to achieve. Ex has no clue of what it is to parent a child in K-12, these days. *shrug*
DS wants psychology and sociology, and pre-AP World History. Everything else is up for grabs. Thank goodness this conversation has to end by the 14th. The paperwork must be turned in next Friday.

Other stuff. I'm tired now. I'll share more later, if I remember.

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