yesterday's activities

ChaChaMama

Well-Known Member
I'm want to get back to my husband's situation in a minute, but we've just hit on one of "my" topics.

@Pygmalion--I have some question marks about that as a schedule. I know the last thing you probably want is a FOURTH opinion in the mix, since you already have your son (and it is HIS schedule), your ex, and you battling it out, but for what it is worth, here is my opinion as someone who has sat on the Admissions and Standards Committee at my college and read up on admissions at other schools.

#1--No foreign language? Unless your son's disability precludes foreign language study, I would like to see that in the mix. I feel like second language study is an expectation for college bound kids. Also, you live in Texas and are considering schools in Florida. Spanish is useful.

#2--Why AP English as a 10th grader? Last I heard, there are now TWO AP English courses--AP Language and Composition and AP Literature and Composition...but you don't need to do both, esp if you are going into a STEM field. Why not save it until later and maximize the odds of getting a 4 or a 5 on the AP exam? I assume that for most students, writing fluency improves with each year of schooling.

+++

I obviously have no idea what the set-up is like at his school, but I would be more inclined to do something like this:

Honors 10th grade English (if there is such a thing).
Foreign language at whatever level is appropriate--preferably Spanish
pre-AP Chem
Principles of Engineering
pre-AP World History, if schedule system allows 5 academic courses not to be ridiculous.0

While Psychology and Sociology sound interesting, are all these classes going on at once? I think that's going to be too much reading. (And I think you know I am a voracious reader, read 60+ books each of the last two years, etc.) Why not something like band or choir or art?
 

danceronice

Well-Known Member
CCM: Despite this being pot paging kettle, I would really take your husband in. Confusion is just never good. I'm sure I'm probably nowhere near you, but if I were I'd be glad to do some cooking or something to free up some time for you--please, if someone offers you help who's nearby, take them up on it. It will do wonders for your stress.

Pygmalion: Now, THAT is a compliment! You must make great BBQ.

Yesterday: Woke up with the weirdest hives I've ever had. (I'm kind of an expert.) Primarily on my elbows. Got small itches elsewhere. My arms had itched a bit at work Thursday night but I didn't think much of it. Took a Benadryl, walked dogs, washed all my bedding and PJs, went to my lesson generally feeling better. Got to work, and the itching started to come back and got worse through the night despite taking another Benadryl before bed. Itching woke me up this morning. I'm on two more Benadryl now, which is killing the hives, but this is driving me crazy. It can't be the dog; he's been here since Saturday and I don't react to dogs (or Frontline, the only chemical he's on.) I haven't changed soaps or detergent. I haven't eaten anything new (and anyway with me hives seem to usually be related to inhalant reactions like mold.) The only thing I can think of is since it started after working Thursday night and flared after a long, stressful Friday is that either there is something in our uniforms that's new, or there is something at work I'm getting exposed to. I work oven, and it's a wood-burning brick oven. It's possible its' this batch of orchard wood, mold GROWING on the wood, and I'm smelling the damp-rotten smell in the basement (we had a massive gray-water pipe break a while back and some of the wood got wet, this might be the batch that was under it*) and all of our dry storage, walk-in, prep kitchen and change room are in the basement. I have to take foster dog to an adoption event today but I think on the way back instead of going to work, I'll drop him off at home and go to the ER/urgent care and call in to work from there. (And at least if it comes back while at the event 1. I believe the people at TSC would actually call 911 for me, and 2. the rescue owner could take care of the dog.) This cannot keep going on.

*Yes, we stayed open, despite having no running water to most of the upstairs sinks all night and to ANY of them for a few hours with wastewater leaking all over the basement including seeping into the walk-in. Yes, this is fantastically illegal. I'm told they also opened last year despite having no electricity and cooked on the gas stoves and in the oven while the salad boy held an electric lantern over their shoulders. Between this, stuff like never replacing the soap at the line sink because the dispenser was hard to open, and the chronic leaving of food out (yes, we on the line have objected to a LOT of these things, and our dishwasher, who took an OSHA course as part of his probation and yes, he's fine to work with, has complained) I'm amazed we haven't killed anyone. And I'm fully expecting to get fired for not showing up on a Saturday, even for going to the hospital.
 

ChaChaMama

Well-Known Member
@Peaches--That is an incredibly generous offer, and I thank you for it. I do not think I will need to avail myself of it at this time, but if the situation deteriorates from here (please God, no), I may take you up on that. Thank you.

+++
Things that make the current situation confusing:
1) THE ILLNESS IS INCONSISTENT. Husband often feels reasonably okay during the day and has sometimes felt like he is on the mend. HE WENT TO THE GYM on Tuesday! He did a light workout, but even so...he clearly thought he was turning the corner. He felt up to taking Child to Michaels' Arts and Crafts on Thursday after school and also assembled the IKEA sofa. Then Thursday night he was a mess: fever, swollen gland*, needing the rescue inhaler. I think you are right, fascination: the breathing and the mental confusion are probably linked.

So...did he just overdo it on Thursday? Is that what we should conclude? But how come he has a new symptom NOW???? He didn't have a fever for the first 108 days of this illness. Then on Day 109, he spikes a temperature?

*Btw, he had told the specialist he thought one of his glands was a little swollen, but the specialist said that will happen when your sinuses are like this and didn't seem to think this was a big deal. Really?


2) HE ISN'T NECESSARILY ON BOARD FOR ANOTHER DOCTOR. He has been to the doctor...a lot. He has gone to his GP I think six times, and to the specialist twice. He has been prescribed a lot of meds. And he is better-ish during the day, insofar as he is coughing less, and, at times, his energy level seems better. And at times he feels really run down. I would like him to go to an immunologist, but he hasn't seemed on board with another doctor. His specialist thinks the nasal passage thing is the deal, and that we have to wait a few months and see if surgery is merited...and that's it. He knows that I find this disappointing because I want him to get better sooner, but feels like that's the medical advice he's getting and maybe we just need to be patient. (I'll be honest: probably not my strong suit.)

3) THE HELP I REALLY NEED IS HELP I'M ONLY GOING TO ASK FOR IF I REALLY HAVE TO. The help I really need is a neighbor I can ask to come over and sleep at my house if I feel like I have to take Husband to the ER in the middle of the night...because that's when he tends to feel his sickest. It is true that there are students at the college who are night owls...maybe I *should* try to have someone on stand-by status. And my sister lives an hour away and would help out. It's just the hour of the night that makes it so hard to think of calling someone. Alternatively, I could wake Child up and take her, and obviously she would come. But this is really why I hesitated to take him on the couple of occasions where I thought it might be merited. That and his sense that they aren't really going to be able to do anything for him, and that he just is going to be sick for awhile longer.

Today is Day 111. And he really isn't feeling great. Child is going to go to my parents for the weekend, assuming that the roads in NJ are safe to travel on. (I'm going to call them in a few minutes for an update.) A few days ago, when he was feeling better, the plan was he would go to the gala and then go on to see me in the show. Now...I'm guessing probably not.
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
doi...it actually can be the dog...I have cats, I am allergic to cats, but the only time I have a respiratory reaction to them is on days when I vacuum and clean the floors, and therefore send all that dander into the floating air...same with itchy eyes...and fine unless I touch my eyes immediately after petting the girl cat...they look identical but her hare is finer and she has more dander
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
and regarding P's issue...I add my vote to CCM's perspective on it...and I would add that I think it better to drop the AP and let him do his own typing, because you won't be there in college and if he cannot navigate it on his own by then, he will be in some trouble....better that he try to problem solve that on his own now...obviously you know best, but again, you won't be there sooner than he can imagine
 

pygmalion

Well-Known Member
3) THE HELP I REALLY NEED IS HELP I'M ONLY GOING TO ASK FOR IF I REALLY HAVE TO. The help I really need is a neighbor I can ask to come over and sleep at my house if I feel like I have to take Husband to the ER in the middle of the night...because that's when he tends to feel his sickest. It is true that there are students at the college who are night owls...maybe I *should* try to have someone on stand-by status. And my sister lives an hour away and would help out. It's just the hour of the night that makes it so hard to think of calling someone. Alternatively, I could wake Child up and take her, and obviously she would come. But this is really why I hesitated to take him on the couple of occasions where I thought it might be merited. That and his sense that they aren't really going to be able to do anything for him, and that he just is going to be sick for awhile longer.
ccm Please know that I say this with love and as the only person I know of in this conversation who's been a patient in an ER in the past year. Please make a back-up plan now. Emergencies happen in an instant.

I respect that you know your limits and where you need/don't need help. Still. Make a plan, for ccc, if no one else. I remember how horrible it was to have to call my GF with the same name from the emergency room and ask her to meet DS at school. It was horrible.
 

3wishes

Well-Known Member
CCMM, your DH absolutely needs to get a second or even third opinion. Let's not delve into my personal DH and DS life experiences - but it TOOK YEARS for DH to be healthy and going again.
Sinus issues can last for years, becoming dormant as if they've gone away, yet the infection has found a home in the sinus tissue only to be re-activated with a wind, or exposure, or dust, or really anything and here you go again, another round of meds, fever, not well, no strength, sleeping, ect ect. An allergist that specializes in sinus issues is a good bet to visit. Surgery does not solve everything and it is not the Silver Bullet,( too long to explain but lots of experience). Also, did you have your home tested for any type of mold and hidden mold.
Breathing treatments with a home nubulizer are excellent for opening up the lungs and bronchia passages. Many physicians can prescribe one for at least 30 days. One medication will open up the airways,,,and another packet of a different sort is when a person feels they are having difficult breathing of sorts.
BTW, as much as we are natural caretakers in some respects, it's ok to say "no"...if you don't take care of yourself, who will take care of you when you need it and your overloaded circuit board burns out? Just a few expressive thoughts.

Yesterday, text and calls from DS and DH,,,at the NASCAR Induction Dinner - "This is EPIC mom - your the best mom ever"...."Honey, words cannot describe how I feel about this great Xmas Present you gave me,,,AWESOME would be one"...
YES! Everyone should have a bonding weekend with their adult child...that they can share for generations to come.
Double Lesson with Pro. The studio is freezing cold...I dance with my jacket on the entire time watching it hail outside.
Home and clean the house. Stack a ton of paperwork I have to go through.
Notified the hill is now open, search for looney ex-cop is still proceeding.
Settle in after going to Trader Joe's and stocking up on really great new items that are organically good for me.
Cold rain continues...and somehow,,,seems much needed for our yards.
Final phone call from DH after they get back to hotel room from the NASCAR ceremonies.
He's happier than a lark! This is good. And a great way to end the evening.
 

cornutt

Well-Known Member
His specialist thinks the nasal passage thing is the deal, and that we have to wait a few months and see if surgery is merited...and that's it.
I don't know what they are waiting on... I know from experience that it will not get better until surgery is done. If they're waiting for all of the infections to clear up, that isn't going to happen. Bomb it with antibiotics and go in.
 

pygmalion

Well-Known Member
All: I wasn't clear about DS's schedule. I only outlined the parts that are in dispute. In tenth grade, he's required to be in school for eight class periods. (In 11th and 12th, he can be released early to work, etc.)

Four core classes are required for all four years of high school (remedial, on-level, or pre-AP/AP are available for all)

English
Math
Science
History

Depending on which "track" he's on, two, three or four years of a foreign language are required. This means that all 10th graders have to take a foreign language. DS can take Spanish, French, ASL, Chinese. He has chosen French, probably because his Dad and I both took French and because we know a ton of people from French-speaking African countries. Will it be useful? Probably not, but you never know.

Everything else is elective. DS's school offers some electives (such as Engineering) as full-year courses. Some others, such as Sociology and Psychology, are half year "survey" courses.

Right now, here's what his schedule looks like:

English 2 (level in dispute)
Geometry (level in dispute)
Chemistry (level in dispute)
AP World History
French 2
Elective 1: Psychology/Sociology (half year each) (But I think he should do Speech and Teen Leadership instead)
Elective 2: Probably Digital Graphics and Animation
Elective 3: Likely Principles of Engineering (But DS is not thrilled with the course load, which is heavy)



In short, between the three of us, we agree on two out of eight classes. We've had the paperwork for a week. We have five days to go. DS and both parents have to sign off on any decisions. It's going to be a tough week.
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
friday..dh arrives home from Boston at 3am...my sleep having been greatly compromised waiting and worrying about that...teach a hard core bike and bench class, tan, and grocery store, chat with a friend...honest to goodness in bed by 6:30 til 7:30 this morning
 

pygmalion

Well-Known Member
CCMM, your DH absolutely needs to get a second or even third opinion. Let's not delve into my personal DH and DS life experiences - but it TOOK YEARS for DH to be healthy and going again.
Sinus issues can last for years, becoming dormant as if they've gone away, yet the infection has found a home in the sinus tissue only to be re-activated with a wind, or exposure, or dust, or really anything and here you go again, another round of meds, fever, not well, no strength, sleeping, ect ect. An allergist that specializes in sinus issues is a good bet to visit. Surgery does not solve everything and it is not the Silver Bullet,( too long to explain but lots of experience). Also, did you have your home tested for any type of mold and hidden mold.
Breathing treatments with a home nubulizer are excellent for opening up the lungs and bronchia passages. Many physicians can prescribe one for at least 30 days. One medication will open up the airways,,,and another packet of a different sort is when a person feels they are having difficult breathing of sorts.
BTW, as much as we are natural caretakers in some respects, it's ok to say "no"...if you don't take care of yourself, who will take care of you when you need it and your overloaded circuit board burns out? Just a few expressive thoughts.

I have a GF with sinus issues who has had two sinus surgeries in the four years I've known her. From her description, the doctors basically had to scrape out the infected tissue, but (obviously) there's no guarantee that the surgery's results will be permanent. Two surgeries in four years. Awful stuff. *shudder*
 

pygmalion

Well-Known Member
Not much interesting going on lately.

I baked this past weekend. It was the first time I baked anything (cream puffs--both vanilla ones and dark chocolate mocha ones) in a very long time, and it was so enjoyable. Super Bowl party with the 'rents and brother and fam. Kind of funny, since no one in my family knows the first thing about football, nor do we care. But it's a good excuse to get together. It's pretty cool seeing my brother as a father. He's finally fallen in love with his little girl. (He didn't seem so keen at first, but I think that was a lot of being overwhelmed and tired and the fact that they had some issues with her at first--reflux, milk not coming in--which made for days and nights of pure screaming crying.)

It's taken two months but I finally have my attitude back in line following the disappointing non-promotion news. I think a lot of it is tied to the very candid conversation I had with my now-boss, which was very empowering and personally affirming. I also have a new project to work on and, even though it's driving me nuts, I'm loving it. Still vaguely want to throttle NPC (I've about had it with his forgetting to tell me key things about my projects. @$$.), but mostly I'm just ignoring him. I'm also hoping for a temporary assignment which would get me out of the section, and I'd get to dump about 70% of my current workload during it; he doesn't know it yet, but it's getting dumped right on him. Eff that.

Minor, strange, non-drama drama with other coworker who's allegedly going to be taking over another one of my projects. He's acting to me like he's going to be here, and able to take it over, and yada yada...and he's telling my now-boss that he's going to be leaving by the end of the summer. TDNWMH. I don't care what Little Stoner Boy does with himself (truth be told, I wouldn't miss him if he left), but I don't have the time to waste in training/mentoring him to take over a project...if he's just going to be gone at the end of the summer. Besides, I don't like him enough to want to spend that time with him anyhow.

Discovered the other night I don't like swordfish. Really don't like it. Plech! But DH is generally getting really good at pan-frying things (in lieu of grilling, cuz it's cold out). We've also started watching Netflix's House of Cards, and we're really enjoying it.
You have some really annoying coworkers. Just sayin.

Unless I'm mistaken, House of Cards is an American-flavored remake of a TRULY STELLAR trilogy of mini-series that was on Masterpiece Theater 20-ish years ago. If so, and if the American production even begins to capture the spirit of that show, it's gonna be good. (I think Kevin Spacey is a great choice for the lead role, btw.)

ETA: DH and I also had a very interesting discussion about high school curricula, and books, and the role of literature in introducing difficult topics. Apparently there's a woman in VA who is fighting to get Beloved removed from the high school AP English curriculum, because she feels the topics it contains are adult topics, in adult literature, and not suitable for high school children. This was all sparked, I guess, by the fact that her son found it disturbing. Personally, I'm dead set against this, for multiple reasons: AP English is opt-in, the syllabus was provided, parents have the right to opt their kid out of literature they don't approve of, I feel that a senior in high school is ready to tackle adult themes and adult literature, it's an AP class (which is supposed to be the equivalent of college), I think some literature SHOULD disturb the reader, and I feel that approaching such topics through the relative safety of discussing a book is an appropriate way of having difficult conversations. DH concedes most points, but also thinks that parents should be able to send their kid to school without them being upset by what they learn.

I'm just thinking back, and even my very-conservative parents never stood in the way of what I wanted to read. From romance novel, to All Quiet on the Western Front, to any number of intense books that I read...they never stopped me. It's such a strange concept to me. They'd have found a way to use the books as the gateway to a conversation. Huh. Anyhow, interesting conversation with DH. Made me think of some of you guys here on D-F.
I used to work with a lady who was PROUD that she battled with the local school district to get a certain book removed from the high school library. According to her, the book was "un-Christian." I was appalled. IMV, books that high schoolers read can and should be disturbing sometimes. Otherwise, our kids grow up to be clones of us. Not good.
 

pygmalion

Well-Known Member
and regarding P's issue...I add my vote to CCM's perspective on it...and I would add that I think it better to drop the AP and let him do his own typing, because you won't be there in college and if he cannot navigate it on his own by then, he will be in some trouble....better that he try to problem solve that on his own now...obviously you know best, but again, you won't be there sooner than he can imagine

It is so valuable to have your and ccm's (and others') perspectives on this. I appreciate all of your input.

I think that we may have reached a tentative agreement. Two AP or pre-AP classes of DS's choice. AP Geography is already decided since we all agree. I think DS should go with geometry for the second (He's always been great at logic. Computation, not so much.) Ex thinks he should go with chemistry (Of course! Ex is a world class chemist. lol) DS gets to decide. But there shall be two AP classes. No more. More = crazy making. Less = weeding himself out of the possibility of future classes that have these as prerequisites.

Third elective: Principles of Engineering or Computer Science. DS gets to choose. Both are off campus, which is a whole 'nother ball of wax. But he gets to choose. Either way, he wins. He's interested in both as possible career paths. So it will be good for him to find out now whether either one is interesting enough for him to pursue it, long-term.
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
doing today now...as sleep is near...leisurely morning...practice, clean kitchen, dye nice natural hair color to something more ballroom-esque, engaged clients, dinner at Indian place...currently ready to crash
 

pygmalion

Well-Known Member
Pygmalion: Now, THAT is a compliment! You must make great BBQ.
Yep. This woman is as Texan as they come (hence all the details about her guns, her political affiliation, her huge ranch, and her barbeque.) If she gives your BBQ a thumbs up, it's good. :)



Yesterday: Woke up with the weirdest hives I've ever had. (I'm kind of an expert.) Primarily on my elbows. Got small itches elsewhere. My arms had itched a bit at work Thursday night but I didn't think much of it. Took a Benadryl, walked dogs, washed all my bedding and PJs, went to my lesson generally feeling better. Got to work, and the itching started to come back and got worse through the night despite taking another Benadryl before bed. Itching woke me up this morning. I'm on two more Benadryl now, which is killing the hives, but this is driving me crazy. It can't be the dog; he's been here since Saturday and I don't react to dogs (or Frontline, the only chemical he's on.) I haven't changed soaps or detergent. I haven't eaten anything new (and anyway with me hives seem to usually be related to inhalant reactions like mold.) The only thing I can think of is since it started after working Thursday night and flared after a long, stressful Friday is that either there is something in our uniforms that's new, or there is something at work I'm getting exposed to. I work oven, and it's a wood-burning brick oven. It's possible its' this batch of orchard wood, mold GROWING on the wood, and I'm smelling the damp-rotten smell in the basement (we had a massive gray-water pipe break a while back and some of the wood got wet, this might be the batch that was under it*) and all of our dry storage, walk-in, prep kitchen and change room are in the basement. I have to take foster dog to an adoption event today but I think on the way back instead of going to work, I'll drop him off at home and go to the ER/urgent care and call in to work from there. (And at least if it comes back while at the event 1. I believe the people at TSC would actually call 911 for me, and 2. the rescue owner could take care of the dog.) This cannot keep going on.

Zoinks. Dunno what to say. I hope you feel better soon. *sigh*
 

pygmalion

Well-Known Member
Okay. Done with the schedule. Here it is:

English 2 (On level)
AP World History -- not sure why I said Geography before; pre-AP Geography is what DS is taking now.
Chemistry (On level Ex hates this but he's going to have to deal with it.)
Pre-AP Geometry
Sociology/Psychology (Half year each)
French 2 (On level)
Digital Graphics and Animation (gets DS the technology credit he needs to graduate)
Principles of Engineering (Off campus. Sponsored by Project Lead the Way.)

If DS is in town, he'll take Communications Applications (AKA Speech - a graduation requirement) in summer school. Here, summer school is a bit different. You have to pay for it, regardless. Kids who want accelerated/supplemental course work can enroll. It's not just for kids who've failed a class.

If his schedule works out this way, he'll have all his graduation requirements (other than junior and senior year core courses) covered by the end of his sophomore year. Groovy. Then he can play around with whatever electives he wants. His school offers lots of fun stuff -- law, politics, public safety, medical terminology, child care, flower arranging. What the heck. DS can explore lots of career options, once he gets his graduation requirements out of the way if he wants to. It's one step at a time. Now we know what he's *probably* going to do next year. Whew. Now I can sleep. :)
 

NURDRMS

Well-Known Member
Doing today since it will soon be tomorrow. Grocery shopping at four different stores and STILL didn't get everything I need. But spent so much $ that I feel like Colorado Springs must not have any food left on the shelves because I've bought it all. Entire extended family beginning to arrive this Wednesday and with buying food for them plus making appetizers and desserts for the 75 folks coming to my promotion party next Saturday means I'll store most of the food that needs to be kept cool but not cold in the garage, where the temp hovers around 40 degrees.

Cook test batches of desserts for party, plus a batch of brownies that my dad has declared he wants to eat every day for breakfast. Daughter asks why she can't eat brownies for breakfast and I explain that when she gets to be 79 she can eat whatever she wants whenever she wants. Daughter declares test desserts "Awesome!" Yay!

Hire daughter to wash the pickup truck, which thrills her because that means she gets to 'drive' the truck out of the driveway and into the street so the driveway won't ice over with the water from the hose. And the $5 I paid her was just gravy as far as she was concerned.

Finished making gifts for all the girls in my family who are visiting, put snack bags together for the folks who will have to stay in a motel versus my house, wash clothes and then...

Spray-paint tulle navy blue and glue hundreds of stars on the resulting navy tulle to look like a night sky. (Decorations for the party.) Had to spray-paint the tulle (20 yards) in my front yard so now my brown grass is navy blue. Hey, the golf course behind the house spray-paints the grass on the greens green so why goes this seem so strange? Lots of looks from the neighbors but they're used to my 'uniqueness.'

Lose a neck-and-neck game of Words with Friends with dance pro. *darn!*

Margarita and email. Bed soon.
 

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